October 20th, 2011
Champions League Results Pt.II: Prayers, Lies & A Convex Shape
Well, David Luiz’ magic hands seemed to do the trick, didn’t they? In all sorts of ways. Image: AP Photo/Tom Hevezi.
The photographers at this week’s round of Champions League fixtures are not on our payroll. We feel the need to mention this today, for some reason.
For best results when using this product, we recommend avoiding anything north of the forehead. Image: Marco Luzzani/Getty Images.
Hmm, interesting. Like Plzen, we’ve occasionally employed ‘the swift blow to the head’ manoeuvre to quieten down problematic boys. It’s fine as long as you don’t hot them too hard. Image: David Ramos/Getty Images.
According to UEFA**, French ref Antony Gautier is the tallest guy ever to officiate a European Cup tie. Tru fax! Image: MIGUEL RIOPA/AFP/Getty Images.
While we know Arsenal fans will be thrilled by Aaron Ramsey’s late, late show, could we politely point out (for blood pressure purposes) that securing the points a little earlier works too? Image: REUTERS/Jean-Paul Pelissier.
Jose Holebas (l) played in the Bundesliga for eight years before signing for Olympiakos. Germany-based Kickettes? We’re blaming you for this outrageous abs oversight. Natch. Image: REUTERS/Giannis Liakos/Icon.
**Editor’s Note: Clearly, this is not true. But occasionally we have to humour the staffers by letting them run with their outlandish ideas. And the office carpet simply cannot take another ‘revolt’.