November 25th, 2010

Champions League Results: Seeing Red

Jack Wilshire and Arsenal. GunneRED. Braga 2-0 Arsenal (AP Photo/Daylife)

The practical effect of Thanksgiving in the Kickette office is that anyone with any kind of tenuous connection to the United States skives off and the rest take advantage of their absence and sneak off to the pub. As long as that is clear, you will not be disappointed with the quantity and quality of posts over the next two days.

In light of this, we have no alternative but to take a left of centre approach to the Champions League results. Each photo you will see captures the essence of it’s featured game and his handily captioned with a RED themed epithet. What we’ve done is essentially follow Jose Mourhino’s methodology of examining the rules of the game carefully and then bending them to our own dastardly advantage.  

Normal service will be resumed next week. Hopefully.

Xabi Alonso. RED card. Ajax 0-4 Real Madrid (Getty Images/Daylife)

Yoann Gourcuff. InjuRED. Schalke 3-0 Lyon (Getty Images/Daylife)

Wayne Rooney. RED Hot. Rangers 0-1 Manchester United (Getty Images/Daylife)

Djibril Cisse. CoveRED Panathinaikos 0-3 Barcelona (Getty Images/Daylife)

Ronaldinho. Auxerre 0-2 AC Milan. Um… scaRED? (Getty Images/Daylife)

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46 Responses to “Champions League Results: Seeing Red”

  1. WAG2BE says:

    Does anybody else think Collen Rooney and Prince Harry would make a cute couple….I mean even though hes a ginger ANYTHING would be a step up from…. that dirty rotten cheater thing she calls a husband.

  2. @AgnesWonka says:

    I love you Wayne! I was one of those who belived in you!!!! ♥_______________♥
    I can't believe Arsenal's lost! almost impossible!
    RM game was brilliant! CR showed what a genious he is!

  3. mamaly says:

    After watching the real-red card thing again, i think Mou is fooling everbody.
    He is smarter than this theater.
    The whole show is just to get attention away from "el clasico".

  4. Mrs Puyol says:

    The option of faking red cards is open to everbody. And as many have stated, others have done it before. But not everybody does go down that road. Mou did, and it says a lot about him. Not very good things according to me.

    Yes Jose, there are such a thing as sportmanship, i swear. Look it up, why don't you.

  5. Sofia says:

    What no one is mentioning up here is that it is not only Xabi and Sergio who are getting punished, Jerzy Dudek and Iker Casillas are also under investigation by UEFA for supposedly relaying Mou's orders to them.

    They have to prove it first though, how will they do it? Hire lip-readers? Besides, Sergio is a vice captain of the team, Iker would of course talk to him on the pitch!

  6. pooky says:

    Players getting deliberate yellows to skip matches has been going on for yonks – the only difference is that Mourinho has the cojones to do it so blatantly/hilariously! I hope they don't punish Real as it will simply mean that players will deliberately foul the opposition *coughBeckhamcough* to gain that key yellow, increasing the risk of injuries.

    Plus I have a fabulous mental image of Ronaldo, surrounded by torn up shreads of the morning's papers, gently sobbing that "The match was supposed to be all about ME!!"…

  7. xbabyshakesx says:

    Mou you are a crazy man! You control soo many people around you, you don't even know
    …. or do you???

    Anywho congrats to Real Madrid for winning. I was soo happy that Arbeloa made a goal ^__^ definitely highlight of the game!

    Baby Wilshere keep your shirt off please! and make a goal for your gooners next time!
    and Ebuoe and Cesc =[
    recover fast please!

  8. DeeRoma says:

    Roma's comeback to beat Bayern was amazing! Best second half Roma's had so far I think.

  9. Leya_S says:

    SOMEONE.
    KILL ME.

    Bc the Arsenal is hardCORE breaking my heart…two losses in a row AND Cesc is hurt?!? whyyyyyyyyy…
    Also, I wasn't at all surprised by Mou's strategy. I don't doubt that kind of thing has been done in the past by other players and managers, its just RM was maybe less inconspicuous about it…Though I'm a Barca fan, I'm hoping nothing happens to Xabi, Sergio, and Iker after the investigation…

    • def says:

      'tis a sad month for gooners everywhere
      poor Cesc, he's already getting much criticism for his handball against Spurs, and now he's injured again :-(

  10. Yeah! says:

    nobody has metioned this yet..so…im very proud of Valencia Cf for playing an awesome game yesterday and beating Bursaspor 6 to 1 which im so proud of my guys for that .so yeah…u know wat… it would be nice to have VCF players featured on here kickette….thatd be nice.. ;)

  11. Winnie Mata says:

    i'm happy that Chelsea (somewhat) got their shit together.
    as for Arsenal…it's just one disappointment after another!
    and i didn't even watch the game (thankfully)
    so i can't even complain about things that went wrong!

    but they lost to BRAGA!?!? COME ON!!!
    maybe if it was Benfica, Porto, or even Sporting (eye roll)
    it might have been slightly more acceptable! but Braga?
    GAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

  12. Ana says:

    I don't care what anyone says about the Special One- his intelligence on the field is terrifyingly beautiful- it's like he's constantly mocking us pleebs, but in a bizarrely clever- and therefore acceptable- way. I don't know what it is- he's arrogant, beyond cocky- yet attractive in that he knows it… hmm… maybe I just appreciate that he dresses well. Yep, must be the suit/peacoat/scarf combination that I find so agreeable. :)

  13. BarceLisa says:

    I'll resist criticizing Mou so close to El Clasico as it might come across as bitchy but I will say what he did was pointless, Xabi and Sergio are not careless types to accumulate cards. So proud of my Barca boys just staying under the radar, picking up wins here and there. Also so proud of Wayne for his nerves of steel.

  14. Summer says:

    Today it's Xabi's birthday…So HAPPY BIRTHDAY big man!!! We love you…

  15. LuvinBale says:

    Arsenal losing to Spurs last weekend was great, Arsenal losing a game in the Champions league to Braga is just awesome!! Then again Spurs winning against Bremmen and clinching our spot in the knock out stage is just F-ING AMAZING!!!!! I have never been so proud of my boys- this season just keeps getting better and better.

    Kaboul 6min in with a goal was fantastic and then Modric- he deserves that goal.

    Kickette why no photos of that game? Never enough Spurs love from Kickette in my opinion.

    On our way to Liverpool!!! Happy Thanksgiving to all Kickette's!!!

  16. Deanna says:

    I said it before and I'll say it again. Mourinho is a genius/madman.
    He pokes fun at the 'stupid' football rules by using them to his advantage. Don't hate on a coach that had the brain to think of his teams performance and what would be best for them to win.
    Its the rules that should be changed. A true genius changes the game and thats what Mourinho does regardless of if you think its 'unsportsmenlike'.
    Also saying Xabi is less classy for following orders to get a yellow and getting the yellow in the least destructive way, whatever. Don't hate, congratulate.

    • Niina says:

      WORD.

    • MadridistaJenn says:

      Preach girl! Amen! Bravo!
      Mou is brilliant because he thinks beyond the game at hand. His mind is always on ways to improve his team's mentality and skill. Nobody's noticing the improvements on the pitch. Did anyone see Arbeloa or Benzema's goals?
      If it were any other team or any other coach, there would be no "controversy".
      And Xabi and "un-classy" should never be used in the same sentence. He's an employee and was doing what he was told and got a card for delaying the game, not biting someone like Luis Suarez (of Ajax, ironically). He has more class in his big toes than most have in their whole body.
      Unsportsmanlike, try brilliant.

    • Sarah, Madrid says:

      Definitely, well it was a smart tactical decision, just because it is Mourinho the whole football community is been outraged. Smart, techinally he never broke any rules, he actually went by the UEFA rulebook, being puinshed for following rule is the thing that the football world should be outraged for lol. I would say I enjoyed Xabi doing one step front back dance, the only problem our players are bad actors! and Albiol is laughing in the picture haha.

      • Deanna says:

        I couldn't help thinking the same thing! Alonso is such a bad actor… and Ramos didn't even try to hide it. Oh boys! Somehow I think that adds something to their integrity, the fact that they can't lie.

  17. Ava says:

    Poor Yoann!
    And LOL at Mourinho. :')

  18. blitzenTO says:

    This site definitely needs more Cisse! A closeup of his tattoos would be highly appreciated.

    Mourinho's tactics don't surprise me, but I'm disappointed for Xabi that he had to go along with that. No, they didn't technically break any rules, but it is not sportsmanlike behaviour and if I was a ref I would be angry at being manipulated like that.

    I haven't watched the Barca match, so that's my treat for tonight.

  19. Niina says:

    I'm all for Mou on the red card business, it was a tactically clever bet and I don't see them getting punished for it, since they didn't break any rules. But boys, there are better ways to get carded. Taking your shirt off is a given. Sergio, known for his eagerness to remove clothing, opts for pulling his socks up?! What is wrong with you, baby?

    • Winnie Mata says:

      oh my god, YES! shirt removal on both counts would've sufficed!
      one swift movement–BOOM! done.

      gratifying AND satisfying!

    • @DebStimson says:

      Thank you! I thought I was the only one who saw the strategic side of this. In fact, There are other teams that have done similar things (got a second card to avoid having to miss a following game) and I don't remember anyone being up in arms about that. The commentators on GolTV were beside themselves saying it was a "disgrace" etc. It's strategy…maybe the problem was it was too obvious what they were trying to do?

      And yes…I agree, shirt removal would have been a MUCH better reason for the 2nd yellow! :p

  20. littlemissunited says:

    Can't believe someone as classy as ~Xabi~ would go along with such skulduggery!

    Happy United won, of course. That pitch invader freaked me out a bit, tbh. Wtf Ibrox security?

    Oh and today we remember the 5 year death anniversary of Georgie Best – legend. RIP you lovely man.

    Some nostalgic pics here http://tinyurl.com/2fvxxh2

    • goldengirlsk says:

      Ppl dont stress out this whole thing doesnt make Xabi "unclassy". He honestly barely even had a choice to make in the short time. His choice were basically 1) listen to Mou and miss 1 game or 2) Dont listen to Mou, make him angry and miss games like (Pedro Leon) just because he didnt listen to him. Also its not like he chose to hurt someone in his attempt to get a yellow card

  21. I was really happy with Fabio Da Silva's performance against Rangers. MOTM for me. Never stopped running against the Rangers defence and brave as a lion. I can't believe Rangers didn't try to play – what did they have to lose? Anyway, enjoy your stint in the Europa League, Gers, because that's what your negative football has got you.

    As for Mourinho, all I will say is that I can't believe there are United supporters who want that person managing our club.

  22. diana says:

    Yeyyyyyyyyyyyyy Milan!I am so happy.Congrats for qualifying to the next round<3
    Barcelona- great as always =]
    Mourinho – playing dirty as always…good thing you left Serie A, nasty bastard:
    Kickette, how on earth did you forget to mention Roma-Bayern game??

    p.s: DDR, you're probably extra happy with this win, now are'nt girl?:)

    • DeeRoma says:

      Oh I am so thrilled with this win. Due to PC oddity, my feed was only audio. Luckily it was in English although it got sketchy at the end. When I heard his goal I was squeeing.

      • diana says:

        Wow what a great seconed half!Bayern is a tough one to beat…everyone was brilliant.Borriello's goal was amazing and De Rossi goal celebrations are insane!

  23. ThatWelshOne says:

    Well done Spurs :) Love the fact my boys have secured their place in the next round and our rivals Arsenal haven't. Poor Cesc though, hope its not too serious. And whats happened to my Yoann? Does he need bed rest. I can provide plenty of that. Well…I can provide the bed…….

    • LuvinBale says:

      You provide the bed and I'll help with the rub downs!!! Are you a Spurs fan also?

      • ThatWelshOne says:

        Well I'm a Cardiff City fan at heart (home town) but Spurs have been my premier league team since it began. I always support them. Plus now Bale plays for them its even better! I can see I don't need to inform you all about Bale's good points! :)

  24. blake2108 says:

    Great pic of Jack Wilshere.

    United won, not that it really mattered. Nearly fell asleep watching that borefest.

    Gareth played well, despite him fluffing the penalty. Missed both he's taken in his career, and he never looked like he was gonna score that one.

  25. Alex Samuel says:

    Awww what happened to Yoann?! :( I couldn't stop laughing at the Ramos.Alonso situation. According to what I've read and heard, Mourinho told them to get sent off so they wouldn't have to play the next match, so they could prepare for the one after! I love how Ramos was pulling up his socks when he went to take his penalty, and got booked for wasting time! xD Gutted for my lovely Arsenal, when Cesc limped off the pitch I could't help but shout at the TV 'It's OK baby shake it off, shake it off!'

    • Winnie Mata says:

      he wanted them sent off because cards in the Champion's League are accumulated, not so they could prepare.
      so since they'd been carded before, they carry over and one card in one game in addition to another from a previous game results in a red card.
      the reason he wanted the, carded in THIS game is because their next CL game is against Auxerre and no offense, they're looking at a fairly easy win. Xabi and Sergio are pretty crucial players, so it's better they miss this game than a more important one down the road.
      if you ask me, it's a dumb rule and cards should not carry over, but you know what? i'm glad he made UEFA look stupid. no matter how big-and-bad then want to act by "punishing" them.