February 17th, 2011

Champions League Results: Shocks & Sofa Booty

How does one expect to be featured on Kickette if he insists on remaining fully clothed!?

EPL Champions League hot football soccer playersOk, so the good news is that the tardy staffers referred to yesterday have remained awake for long enough to produce the Champions League Results post. The bad news? We had to use cattle prods to do it. The smell of scorched staffer now pervades every corner of the Kickette office and the resulting electrical surge has left us without power for the foreseeable future.

Luckily, we have smartphones and scones. Your service will not be affected.

AC Milan 0-1 Tottenham Hotspur

We shan’t delve too deeply into the events of Spurs visit to the San Siro for their game against AC Milan, simply because we covered all the comedy yesterday

Image: Getty Images/Daylife.


Valencia 1-1 Schalke 04

There was another fixture on Tuesday night – although you could hardly be blamed for missing it amidst all of the man posturing in Italy. Valencia hosted Schalke 04 at the Mestalla, and the former Real Madrid staple, Raul, did not disappoint for the German side.

After Valencia had taken the lead via a Roberto Soldado volley, Mamen’s boy (left) struck to become the all time leading goalscorer (or equalled the record, depending on who you believe?!) in UEFA competition.

Whether former holder Pippo Inzaghi will have anything to say about this remains to be seen, but for now Schalke take a useful away goal back to the Veltins-Arena for the second leg.

Image: AP Photo/Daylife.


Arsenal 2-1 Barcelona

Arshavin seems to be sporting an enormous bottom of late. Anyone else notice? Image: Reuters/Daylife.

And so to Arsenal vs. Barcelona. It has to be said that things initially appeared to be travelling down a familiar path for the English side at the Emirates. After ruining a few early chances for the Gunners, David Villa released Leo Messi to finish what appeared to be a routine strike, but much to everyone’s surprise (including Leo’s) the ball crept wide.

He made up for this uncharacteristic error later in the first half, slicing the Arsenal defence wide open with a ball to Villa who kept his head and slotted home for 0-1.

It was Robin Van Persie who threatened most for Arsenal, his efforts finally paying off late in the game as a ball struck from a ridiculously acute angle slid home, much to the chagrin of Victor Valdes. Substitute Andrei Arshavin got onto the end of a Samir Nasri cross to score the winner.


Roma 2-3 Shakhtar Donetsk

The last fixture of the midweek matches was between AS Roma and Shakhtar Donetsk. In a game that saw Roma take their tally of goals conceded in the last three games to ten, the spoils were awarded 2-3 to Shakhtar. All of the Ukranian club’s goals came within minutes of another – Jadson (29′), Douglas Costa (36′), Luiz Adrian (41′) -  and quite early in the match. Roma tried to mount a sliver of of a comeback on the heels of Jérémy Menez’ goal in the sixty-first minute, but it was merely a consolation. It will be a tough away leg for Roma, will the pretty win out?

Image: Reuters/Daylife.

The next round of last sixteen fixtures take place next Tuesday and Wednesday, people. In the meantime, give us your views on the games, Arshavin’s booty (less shelf, more comfy sofa) and whether the repeated prodding of employees with farming equipment is justified in the workplace environment.

Thank you!

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76 Responses to “Champions League Results: Shocks & Sofa Booty”

  1. LOVEisSpelled_I_K_E_R says:

    About the games…
    1. I think each and every one ended with a surprising turn of events. All the favorites(per say) lost.
    2. Good to see Barcelona isn’t unbeatable, people were starting to believe in that.
    3. I’m not usually an Italian lover, but that Gattuso was hot hot HOOOOT with all that raw manliness and outright passion!! Mmmm!!!
    And 4. Raul. Ohh Raul…I bow all the way down and touch the spit covered grass that lies beneath your feet in respect for your awesomeness, sexiness, perfect nose and skillZ….and sexiness. A legend indeed.

  2. Maria says:

    my favorite team from the EPL (Arsenal) vs my favorite team from La Liga (FC Barcelona) it was a great game … i couldn't stop watching it… I can't wait for next game… It will be probably 10x better… I really don't care who goes a head…. It will be bitter sweet ….

    I love how Jack W. (Arsenal) ask Xavi (FCB) for his shirt and then asked Cesc to get him Lionel Messi's shirt *lmao* … Now Jack wants Andres Iniesta….

    I think that was the best game I have ever seen … even if the refs were a lil blind in some occasions….for both sides

  3. Nihaal28 says:

    I’m just shocked that barca lost

  4. FloraJane says:

    The Arsenal- Barcelona match was just fantastic, and I don't support either of those teams. I've even hated on both of them, but a great game is a great game. I might have even cheered a bit for Arsenal. Okay, maybe more than a "bit". LOL Well done.

    I don't support Roma either, but a sad Totti is just…well, sad.

  5. chay says:

    I agree with several merengues here: it was nice to watch arsenal beat barça, although i was definitely cheering on leo messi because i can't help but love his little argentine self :-)

    Kickette, you forgot to mention that fc porto beat seville! 2-1!

  6. Marie says:

    Arsenal, we'l see you at Camp Nou!

  7. pearl says:

    what’s so great about this win is because our boys still played like Arsenal. Yes, Barca dominated the possession, but we didn’t park bus, which every pundits thought to be the best way to beat the mighty Catalan.

    all in all, it was an incredible game, the way football suppose to be played. full frontal attack. since i support Spain NT, of course i love Barca. but i’m always be a gooner first. so, let’s hope the lads have the same spirit in Camp Nou ^^

  8. @mezz98 says:

    Am in LOVE with the Shakhtar boys. This was the first time i'd watched them play. I think I am smitten. Then again, I am super easy when it comes to footballers.

  9. @AgnesWonka says:

    I love to see how Arsenal showed Barça is not unbeatable!

  10. TheAmethyst007 says:

    As neither a Barca nor Arsenal fan, I have to admit that Arsenal is really endearing itself to me. They have always struck me as really lovable and united team (See the Funny Side of Arsenal Players parts 1-4 on youtube for proof). And now I know that they're also good on the pitch. Good luck in the rest of the Champions League games gunners. You guys deserve it.
    And Robin Van Persie, just, WOW!

  11. Zahara says:

    i was so happy when daveeed scored! only to be dumbstruck at RVPs goal..wow that was amazing..and arshavins goal too.

    but now arsenal have unleashed the monster within barca..mwahaha!

    hopefully villa wont be subbed again.

    visca barca!

    congrats to arsenal spporters! yay for cescy!

    ooh i cannot wait for Nou Camp!

  12. Emme says:

    I don't care what anyone says, Arsenal's win was amazing! Whatever happens at the Camp Nou, happens. They weren't scared to play Barcelona like everyone else is and it payed off. Here's hoping that Cesc can lead his boys to victory once more!!

    Side note: Raul's goal was amazing! So glad he is at Schalke. Would have hated to see him retiring when he clearly still has it.

    • MadridLove says:

      Yes Raul is still amazing!

    • Winnie Mata says:

      i was actually really disappointed in Cesc last night.
      he seemed like such a little…"saboteur" at times
      little things he did like "accidentally" passing to Pique
      just pissed me off…maybe i'm being overly suspicious
      but still…

  13. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Diablo and zackary53, Linda Fan. Linda Fan said: Champions League Results: Shocks & Sofa Booty http://bit.ly/iaSgUx [...]

  14. Soon2beWifeOfNAsri says:

    Ohh and seriously Andrey Arshavin's shirt was just FABOLOUS, it was a picture of him shusshiing hahahahah only arsenal players would come up with something like that, ohh how i love the arsenal.

    • Jules says:

      The first person I remember doing the shushing goal celebration was Raul and it may even predate him.

  15. Soon2beWifeOfNAsri says:

    How does the HUMBLE PIE taste people hahahahaha no one believed Arsenal would do well or even get anything out of this game, and what happened BAM we pulled it out the bag with some spectacular goals and play.

    Round 1 is to the ARSENAL, we are half way there now hopefully we'll finish it off at the Nou Camp, ive noticed RVP is a hugger, the way he hugged Wenger made my heart melt then at the end of the match he embraced Clichy and Djourou and nearly sweept them of their feet, i love our boys, and KOSCHIENY was a BEAST, had the game of his life.

    Hatersss 2 the left to the left hahahahah

  16. Soon2beWifeOfNAsri says:

    HATERRRRR hahahahaha, like your comment will put us gooners down, nice try though bu-byeeeeee

  17. xbabyshakesx says:

    ARSENAL!!! Just amazing!
    I could not stop smiling the entire time after the game ended =]
    Boys make me soo proud!

  18. Dimitria says:

    Can Arsenal give Real Madrid tips on beating Barca…they need it.

    • MadridLove says:

      hahaha I was thinking the same thing!!! Madrid need to watch yesterdays game to get some tips for when Barca comes to Berneabeu in April

    • xbabyshakesx says:

      LMAO!!!! I love Real Madrid, but I love Arsenal more. If Real could learn from Barca ahahha XD

  19. samy says:

    …and then the fire is going to spread to White Hart Lane!

  20. samy says:

    Arsenal is going to burn down Nou Camp once and for all this season!

    • Sarah says:

      First of all it called CAMP NOU and second of all we kicked you out the champions league last year who says we cant do that again

    • Winnie Mata says:

      hmmm. i certainly hope if we do burn down, it's at the non-existent Nou Camp and not Camp Nou…

      petty of me point out that flaw in your statement, but hey, if you're gonna hate…

  21. Poppy says:

    AWESOME ARSENAL!!!!! they can be very proud of themselves win against Barca is really really great!:)
    but i think that it would be hard for them to win at the camp nou!

  22. Deanna says:

    GO GUNNERS GO! I never lost faith and its still going strong!!!!!! Bring on Camp Nou!!!

  23. stephanie87 says:

    congrats Arsenal!!! The Second leg at the Camp Nou will be very difficult but if you guys keep your defense intact and keep possession you can make it through to the next round!!

  24. Rory says:

    Blake, with all due respect, you sound like a sore loser right now. In a few weeks if the tables are turned, I hope our fans react with class and good sportsmanship.

  25. Lotte (Zlatanista) says:

    My second team beat my first team. It's awful and awesome at the same time. Congratulations to Arsenal, they played very well! I wonder how they will cope with Barca at Camp Nou. But that is then, and now is now. And it was pure joy (and horror) to watch these two fine teams go at it.

  26. MadridLove says:

    As a Madrid Fan, I'd like to congratulate Arsenal for being able to do the un-doable… This is your time to bask in the sun and enjoy the sunshine. To be honest I thought when Villa scored Arsenal was done.

    I don't know if Arsenal will win at Camp Nou or be able to walk away with a tie, I think today was an example of the unthinkable occurring!

    When my Madrid lost to Barca 5-0 I congratulated Barca and expressed my surprise in my team, I think everyone should have that mentality…

    I gotta say though David Villa, Pique and Febregas are soooooooooooooooooo friggin HOT!!!

    And Samir Nasri is hot tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

  27. SoccerrLoverrr says:

    OMMMMMMMMMMMMG IM LIEK SOO HAPPY THAT MY GUNNERS WON LAST NITE!!!!! What an unbelievable match yesterday!!!!! When van persie scored that goal and ran to hug wenger i wanted to cry..and when arshavin scored the second goal i was actually tearing up!!! i cudnt believe our luck!! congratz arsenal, impossible is NOTHING!! :) sooooo proud to be a gooner!

  28. Katie says:

    I hate how everyone is being so pessimistic about Arsenal's win – fan or not. Yes they've got a tough game at nou but bloody hell give credit where it's deserved – they played amzingly well, has to be the best match of the league so far.

    • xoWinnie says:

      i know right…i mean the odds going into this game were 3-1 Barcelona from what i heard, so we definitely flipped the script once, who's to say we can't do it again. of course it's going to be harder away, but we can dream! i hope they don't play a defensive game; they will most likely lose that way. they should go balls out and try to score!

  29. Katie says:

    I hate how everyone is being so pessimistic about Arsenal’s win – fan or not. Yes they’ve got a tough game at nou but bloody hell give credit where it’s deserved – they played amzingly well, has to be the best match of the league so far.

  30. Caitlin says:

    As someone who doesn't support Arsenal or Barcelona I have to say that I absolutely loved last night's game. It was brilliant!

    And I couldn't help smiling when van Persie scored the equaliser and hugged Arsene Wenger. I don't think anybody expected Arsenal to win this and you can't help feeling happy for them (no offence to Barcelona fans).

  31. xoWinnie says:

    yesterday was quite possibly the most orgamisc day of club football i have ever experienced.
    i'm not goinna lie, i went in with a pretty defeatist attitude concerning the Arsenal/Barcelona game
    i didn't even want to watch it really, but i couldn't stop myself lol
    i was hoping for the draw for the most part, and dreading the away goal or should i say goals
    which i expected would be scored on us, even when RVP scored, i was skeptical.
    but i could not contain my shock and ecstasy when Arshavin scored the second.
    i screamed so loud my mother ran upstaris, and frankly, the woman should be used to that by now.
    i could not contain my happiness, i was practically bawling with joy!

    • xoWinnie says:

      i hate the fact that a lot of people tried to rain on our parade, especially on FB, by saying stuff like
      "oh wait till they go to Camp Nou, Barcelona will rape, Arsenal got lucky."
      maybe so, but it still amazes me how cocky and cynical some people can be.
      i mean…you lost. let us celebrate instead trying to bring us down.
      stop consoling yourselves with talks of "the next leg" and how you're "going to win for sure".
      admit that you could've played better, but you didn't so you lost. how difficult is that?
      isn't that the attitude that cost you the game in the first place? gees!

  32. Rory says:

    ARSENAL!!! We have every right to be excited, our lads were fantastic. And no one expected them to win yesterday, so all you doubters can keep on doubting and maybe you'll be surprised AGAIN in a few weeks. COME ON YOU GUNNERS!

    • xoWinnie says:

      YES! quality comment :)

    • Amy says:

      loved every second of it! not that i hate barca, but i LOVE arsenal! i was jumping up an down and screaming like a mad woman when they scored the second – my nine month old nephew was terrified and started crying and my sister's dog bit me. still SO WORTH IT!!!

    • Sarai says:

      Love it!!! For everyone who had doubts about Arsenal!!! Go GUNNERS!!!!

  33. CarmenOcio says:

    Forever a Gooner (Y) But can they do it at Camp Nou? Barca have a reputation for destroying the opposition in their own back yard :P And is is just me, but did anyone else think the Barca players go down quite easily?
    I'm still laughing at the commentator when he said 'Pique. Dating Shakira'

    • Deb Stimson says:

      It will be tough at Camp Nou but a win at the Emirates was crucial for Arsenal so it was good to see them do well.

      I didn't check twitter yet. Any "ooohhh moc moc" between Cesc & Pique yet? ;)

      • LoveIsSpelled_I_K_E_R says:

        Kickettes please enlighten me. I’ve come to understand that I’m lacking some important vocabulary….what does the always-gorgeous Pique mean when posting “moc moc moc” every 10 seconds on Facebook and/or Twitter?
        I’m dying to know. Thanks!!

    • Lotte (Zlatanista) says:

      The commentator said that? Priceless.

  34. ALianzLim says:

    so tottis bulge is just as big from the back as it is from the front.. good to know.

  35. gin_in_teacups says:

    Where is Leya_S? I am dying to know what you thought about the match!

    I didn't get to watch (because apparently going to mandatory things for class is more important than football now. Harumph!) but I checked the score and was bummed but I'd pretty much figured Barcelona was going to win. Then when I checked again after the game was over it was just so awesome! Well done to Arsenal! I am sad to have missed it though, apparently it was quite the scene in all the pubs around town.

    • Deb Stimson says:

      It really was a great game. Two thumbs up (cue Sergio) to Arsenal who played their butts off (well, except for Arshavin obviously :o ). Jack Wilshire had a brilliant game!

      But WTH is Arshavin doing in his goal celebration?! Was very happy for him though. He's had a tough time of late.

    • Leya_S says:

      No lie, definitely a shocker, this win.
      Alex Song had a real wtf game, he couldnt stop fouling.
      There was some drama, too on the field with Samir getting upset that the Barca players were going down too easily for his liking, and Cesc was so cute as the mediator between his two groups of friends. I know he's going to be wearing those blaugrana colors soon, and it kind of makes me a little sad to think about it.
      David's first goal I was like YES! WAIT! NOOOOOO!!! I momentarily forgot that I was cheering for the Gunners, haha. Anywayz, then I was panicking, bc once Barca scores the first one, its all over from there. But RVP was consistently knocking on the door until he caught Valdes flat-footed and slotted one in!
      I seriously am in love with RVP this season. (I still miss you Marouane).
      Then Arshavin with his goal!!! I.was.SCREAMING. And I have no comments on his apparently enormous bottom, lol.

      • SoccerrLoverrr says:

        OMG i van persie is on FIREEEEEE! and yes i miss marouane too! i wish he played yesterday..buh apparently he's burnt out and is nah gunna play till march :( regardless, arsenall won and dat's all that matters!!!

  36. IrishBlue says:

    Well done arsenal! Id be worried about goin to nou camp for the second leg though!

  37. Tephy says:

    I so so so want to party with the Gooners at the Emirates last night!

    WHAT AN AWESOME CROWD, and last night we saw that the "flawless, unbeatable, amaysing, etc" (so said all the football pundits) CAN be beaten.

  38. blake2108 says:

    Arsenal fans need to calm down about last night. They're going to get absolutely annihilated at Camp Nou

  39. Thea says:

    Well as upset as I am for my beloved Barca – I have to be magnanimous in defeat and congratulate Arsenal and all their fans – it's good to see Wenger's hard work pay off!

    PS – Wait till Nou Camp Gunners!

    • Bri says:

      Right there with you girl. The gunners earned it, but the Nou Camp awaits! ;)

    • Keziah says:

      Absolutely, congratulations Arsenal. We will see you back at our place… and hopefully we wont have any onside goals discounted by dodgey offside calls at Nou Camp!!!!