September 19th, 2012

Champions League Results: Wake Up Bombs

Oh gawd. He’s gone all Kate Winslet on us now. Let’s try to remember this when PSG’s expensively assembled machine runs into a fairly innocuous looking obstacle and sinks without trace. Image: Dean Mouhtaropoulos/Getty Images Europe.

We slept through last night’s Champion League matches thanks to an unfortunate mismanagement of happy hour drinks.

Did we miss anything?

Montpellier 1-2 Arsenal

Image: Julian Finney/Getty Images Europe.

As we know, it’s “in the script” for a struggling newbie to score upon his return to his old club. Olivier Giroud didn’t, but it wasn’t really his fault. We stole the script yesterday lunchtime and have been rewriting it to include new characters (us) and fewer clothes (his). We’ll get it back to him Thursday.

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Olimpiacos 1-2 Schalke

Image: Milos Bicanski/Getty Images Europe.

While Olympiacos’ Francois Modesto and Schalke’s Jermaine Jones battled for the ball, Kyriakos Papadopoulos, like most other people, was focussed on events at the Bernabeu.

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AC Milan 0-0 Anderlecht

Image: Claudio Villa/Getty Images Europe.

Dieudonne Mbokani’s failure to co-operate meant that Philippe Mexes’ crack at the iconic Titanic pose ended up looking more than a misjudged effort at planking. Interestingly AC Milan’s failure to pick up points at home against a team currently 500/1 to win the tournament could be described in the same way.

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Real Madrid 3-2 Manchester City

Images: Alex Livesey/Getty Images Europe, marca.com.

We can’t help but sympathise with Joey Hart, who had a few words for his team-mates after Real Madrid turned a 2-1 deficit into a 3-2 victory in the last five minutes of the game. It’s safe to say that Roberto Mancini does not feel the same, but then presumably he’s not as mesmerised by the City ‘keeper’s thighs as we are.

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Are we allowing lust to cloud our judgement, Kickettes? Or is Joey entitled to kick a bit of butt after keeping his side in the game until late on? Tell us, but bear in mind while we were sleepy drunk last night, we’re razor sharp this morning.

Any comments clad in couture from the Djibril Cisse School of Fashion will be sent back to the hellhole from whence they came. ‘M’kay?

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34 Responses to “Champions League Results: Wake Up Bombs”

  1. Miss T says:

    I love my beautiful Arsenal boys!!! :D And speaking of beautiful Arsenal boys… I'm very sad to see that there is never anything said or posted about Carl Jenkinson, He is so gorgeous! Or maybe I should just keep him to myself… Haha! ;)

  2. Agnes Wonka says:

    RM – Man. City match was soooooooo exciting! you didn't really know which team was going to win at the end, that's a good game!

  3. IrishBlue says:

    I can not think clearly when there is Giroud tongue visible!

    All I can manage is, well done Real :-D

  4. JenC says:

    Yaaaay Arsenal!!! So Glad Podolski finally can shine with one of the best EPL club. He looked so happy last night..I've never seen him so happy before. Giroud! Don't be sad hun! your time will come!

  5. Bella says:

    I never saw where Hart's statements were directed at his teammates, he said WE. Of course he was frustrated but I don't think he would place blame on anyone else more than himself. There are eleven men between the ball and the goal but he knows more than many that, in the end, the keeper takes responsibility. He's fantastic and Mancini made too much out of honest post-match frustration. I see the media's nasty paw in inciting both remarks, btw.
    We love passionate keepers!

    • xoWinnie says:

      truth! i didn't see him place blame, if anything he seemed mostly disappointed in himself! although what he said regarding Madrid not deserving credit was a little snarky, but it's frustrating, i'll forgive him this once ;)

  6. Dr, Heidi says:

    Damnit! how could City have left this one get away….??????

    • Thea says:

      My thoughts exactly! . May be biased but perhaps the standard as that much higher in la liga! As RM are far form the top of their game compared to last season.

      • Sarah, Madrid says:

        Did you watch game? Real Madrid deserved win, it was actually of last year performance that RM did in this game, hart was just excellent! City overall had an average game, even you are biased you can see it and see that yaya and hart where the only two who played in city, second goal we conceded it was a misunderstanding between iker and xabi bless their heart, I don't even get why would hart be angry just go listen to yaya toure post comments or even Mancini both of them praised RM, so what the surprise. Surprise was why it was a comeback more than why did we win?

  7. Nas says:

    It was an epic game, gave me more closure after the last couple of crappy games. I've never been a big fan of CR7 because my love for R9 won't allow me to label another as 'Ronaldo' but seriously he pulled through today!
    CR7 you rocked my Madridista world today!!! Hala Madrid!!!

    If I wasn't at work I would have reacted as Mou did to the last goal: http://www.imgnook.com/b5CMYo.gif

    • woohoo says:

      Lolz absolutely loved Mou's celebration. I think him and CR7 were having a lil competition of their own there

  8. HiL says:

    I just want to say that Lukas Podolski is perfect.
    (notanarsenalfan)

  9. GaiaBale says:

    I think that Harty should’ve complained to his mates in the first half when he actually kept them in the match with some quality saves. I can understand that he was rather fed up and nervous after such a match but what can anybody really do when Ronaldo comes up with shots like the one of the third goal?!
    It’s a shame that i haven’t seen much of this match or of the one of the handsome duo Podolski-Olivier ’cause i was concentrating on my Milan… Which has been poor. Very poor. Oh, and PSG looks scary. And i wouldn’t mind mentioning Klass Jan Huntelaar who has scored twice for Schalke, he’s a cutie.

  10. PhilippaB says:

    Gutted that Montpellier couldn't get an equaliser, that second half gave me a lot of hope for them. Olive got a warm reception (genuinely) from the home fans, and it was a fabulous atmosphere in the stadium. Next up it's Schalke away. Nervous.

  11. LittleBerba says:

    Olivier and his tongue… I'm just having so many inappropriate thoughts now. Lol.

    Btw, anyone know if Olof Mellberg played for Olympiakos? There isn't enough of him here. You hear me, kickette?? :D

  12. Madridista says:

    I was crying bitter tears and then it suddenly became tears of joy. Last night's match will be one I won't forget in a long, long time. You could call it the heart attack game. I'm so, so proud of my boys.

  13. Miss_F says:

    The Madrid-City game was fabulous! Joe Hart did very well last night, but the determination from Real was amazing! Was hoping Ozil would've got on the score sheet though :(

    In other news… Olivier Giroud… *droooool*! ;)

    • xoWinnie says:

      I hoped Giroud would score last night, I just want him to score–PERIOD! you can tell it's starting to wear on his confidence. but at the same time, I could not be happier for Podolski! he's doing so well with us! :')

  14. gin_in_teacups says:

    Madrid, I think you took 10 years off my life last night and I love you for it. Of course by the time Ronaldo scored I was so alcohol-addled from the stress of the previous 89 minutes that it didn't hit me right away. I'm still a bit hazy actually, but if they keep playing like they did last night*, it's going to be a good season.

    Joe Hart did incredibly well. I was hating him last night, which really is a massive compliment to the opposing GK.

    Glad for Arsenal too. Good night for comebacks.

    *But can I have my Ramos back in the starting XI please now Mou?

  15. Elk63 says:

    Zlatan was sexy sensational. The BOSS, as usual. Watch out Eurocentric fans, the French are on the move. With his devious smile and rock hard abs, Ibra will steal your heart!

    • Marika says:

      He has already stolen mine. I am not a huge fan of PSG but I am a huge fan of Zlatan so I hope they would go all the way.

  16. Sarah, Madrid says:

    Hart is sooooooooooooooooo hot, I can't even describe it! I had this love-hate unhealthy relationship with him in the game, now I felt how other teams feel when they face Iker! jejeje.

    This game WASN'T for weak hearts, remontada, grit, determination, football, TEAMWORK, epic celebrations, flawless bernabeu, standing ovation for Silva! Classy Yaya, oh I will remember this game forever, looks like something should belong to semi-final of this ucl, not the first UCL game, this is crazy! We did deserve to win, Real Madrid definitely was the team who deserved 3 pts, but Man City is the champions of EPL, it was a game of champions, game of Hart vs Real Madrid!

    • xoWinnie says:

      Guuuurrrl, tell me about it! I was so torn during last night's game! Torn between my love for Madrid, hatred for City, and love for Joe! when he'd make a save I'd be so proud of him, and then so angry at him! i think i ruptured an ovary when Ronaldo scored lol, i also think i got a little taste of what it feels like to be bipolar last night lol. but forget the talent, Joe has some serious sex-appeal going on, sweet jesus! Speaking of sex-appeal–SERGIO WAS ON THE BENCH! i could not believe my eyes! apparently it was following a disagreement with Mou, it was reported that he changed the line-up at the very last minute and EXCLUDED the Ramos! Madridistas, anyone know what that was about?

      • Phédre says:

        In a post game interview Mou said it was nothing disciplinary but it was a technical decision. I think if it were because of a disagreement he would just left him out and not even bench him. Mou also called Sese a great man and great professional. Wich ofcourse didn't make me any less pissed because he didn't play!

        • Dr. Heidi says:

          Let's just hope that Mou's decision to bench Sergio isn't going to become a habit. I mean, honestly, what will Sergio's 'Damp Pants' Fan Squad do?? (sorry if that was a little too cheeky for some of your virgin eyes out there). what the hell am I saying…this is Kickette!

        • xoWinnie says:

          *huge sigh of relief* oh thank god! i couldn't bear to think of Sergio having drama with yet ANOTHER coach! thought he was over those days

      • Sarah, Madrid says:

        No no, I actually didn't come as surprise be because Sergio was poooooor in last Liha games, so it is more like let me try another defender, it is weird not Albiol, but varane was excellent, great exposure for him and experience!
        If Varane said he knew he would be playing since Sunday after Seville game, so it is pure footballing reason!

    • Dr. Heidi says:

      So my obsession Ramos wasn't even PLAYING last night? Okay, now I can delete the DVR recording…..after all, what is the point of it all now…..stress, no Sergio, City losing…..

    • cella.xx says:

      u have love-hate relationship? im man utd fan!!! :) )

      • Dr. Heidi says:

        I guess I do…..love Sergio, not crazy about RM, dislike Mou, like Ozil, neutral on CR7….support Barca, – I am so torn!

    • DebS says:

      The standing ovation for Silva was so great! The kid's brilliant and I love to watch him play with City, my second favorite team. Figures Madrid & City would have to face each other in the group stage. :

      Was really surprised to see Ramos on the bench but I did think Verane played well. A good game but did they really have to wait and win it in the last few minutes?! I have enough grey hair thank you! lol