April 29th, 2009

Champions League Semis: Under Construction


Let’s hope today’s Arsenal/Manchester United game is a little bit more exciting than the Barcelona/Chelsea nil-nil result last night. 

Perhaps we’ve been spoiled by the recent goal orgies and expected more back of the net action.

While watching, we kept ourselves amused by twitter polling the Kickette army about how to construct the perfect man from different parts of the players at Camp Nou. 

(Our suggestions? Victor Valdes’s face, Thierry Henry’s money, Frank Lampard’s thighs, Florent Malouda’s cheekbones, John Terry’s short-tent, Bojan Krkic’s tongue.)

Yeah, it sort of went a little PG 13, but such is life. 

imageSo, onto today. Let’s take some time out to construct another fantasy man from the line ups. Objectifying professional players and reducing them to body parts is quite calming, and we believe, anti-aging. 

We’re going to start with Dimitar Berbatov’s eyes, Cesc Fabregas’s stubble, Cristiano Ronaldo’s six pack, Theo Walcott’s newly expanded chest and Samir Nasri’s hair.

Just kidding on that last one.

Alternatively, we could just declare Patrice Evra the perfect man already and call it a day.


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17 Responses to “Champions League Semis: Under Construction”

  1. ferzie says:

    Pat,you're hot:)

  2. HiL says:

    Pat is perfect indeed :] Go Man Utd!! :)

  3. Lola says:

    There’s another Lola!!! I thought there was two of me, then I realised that the other Lola was not me. Very confusing.

    For last night’s perfect man may I suggest Bojan’s thighs:

    For tonight, ummm… Vidic’s thigh?

  4. monoonie says:

    omg look at JT Short xD love it!!!

  5. Meer. says:

    Gosh, build a perfect man from tonight's squads. I don't know what it wouldm look like, but it will include lot's of Cristiano and Patrice<IMG title="too funny" height="16" alt="too funny" src="http://staticll.fluxstatic.com/-/Clients/Common/Img/RTE/smiley/alpha/too_funny.gif&quot; width="16">

  6. Becca says:

    Get a bit excited JT?!

  7. Lola says:

    Thanks hun. Lolinha :) I like it.

  8. FootballerChick43 - "Mrs.Ballack" says:

    I found the Barcelona – Chelsea match exciting. But then again, I really like defending.

  9. Estrella says:

    How shallow are we going with this? Can I suggest Xabi Alonso’s brain to the mix?

  10. shay says:

    No doubt Pat is fabulous but C. Ronaldo has it all. If only he was a mute.

  11. Boston Red says:

    Pat will do just fine smile

  12. Emily (Giggsy's says:

    HA!  I agree about Berba’s eyes and Ronnie’s six-pack (honestly, just pick his whole torso!), but you’ve chosen Cesc’s stubble??!!  When can baby-face Fabregas ever compete with hairy manly-man Giggsy in a stubble competition??!  [shocked]  Wrong decision there, Ms. Kickette.  Sorry…

    But, yes, I’m very okay with just picking Pat as the perfect man and stopping there.  His shirtless rock-hard torso, creamy chocolate skin, peachy bum, dazzling white smile and adorable laugh make his case for him.  Not to mention the accent, the prankster sense of humour and the fab thighs…  ‘Nuff said.  :D

  13. Jo says:

    Don’t forget Carrick’s “assets”.  He was a pleasant surprise.

  14. Raina says:

    I’ll take all of C-ron, then as a side man, I’ll combine the rest!

  15. iris says:

    OMG….john terry’s bulge…olalaaaaaa

  16. Lolinha says:

    Oh dang! Didn’t notice a namesake, definitely confusing and the situation has been dealt with. ok Tonight’s game doesn’t have nearly as much man-candy as the Barça/Chelsea one so I’ll choose Cristiano in Evra’s off-the-pitch clothing and some of Hargreaves’s adorableness.

  17. aristeia says:

    As a neutral, I really would prefer some more excitement in these games, definitely.