December 30th, 2009

Cheers! To Good Friends and Footie Resolutions

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Looky here: The above video features Yoann Gourcuff. He personally sent his best wishes to our entire Kickette army for the New Year!

Oh, fine. We’re lying. But we had to get one more falsehood in before we resolve to become better people in 2010.

On the first of each year, we make the promise to drink more and stalk less with much fanfare. And every February we realize there’s no chance in hell we can actually make that happen for 365 days straight.

With this in mind, we’ve decided to align on more manageable goals, and we implore you to hold us to them. Take a peek after the jump to learn which of us plan on bringing Daniele De Rossi’s underpants back and who is lobbying for a Finest Five list that includes ‘Nando.

Kickette HQ’s 2010 Resolutions

The Boss Lady
1. Iker. One hour
2. Source some kind of yogi mentor that believes in an alcohol-infused technique to deal with the excitement, drama and stress of watching England in the World Cup
3. Stop slow dancing with my life-sized David Beckham cardboard cut out. Or at least reduce it to 3 times per week

I-spy-something-frecklyThe Jet-Setter
4. Learn more about Ligue 1 and Printemps because Yoann would want it that way
5. Stop imagining Fabio Cannavaro’s thighs every time I touch my other half’s scrawny ones.
6. I take back number 5. That’s simply not going to be possible.
7. Get the total freckle count on Fernando Torres in order to plead his case for F5 entrance

John Terry and his two BFFs: Frank and his bulgeThe Lush
8. Finally give Cristiano Ronaldo an ultimatum. He either donates a 25-karat sparkler to my left finger or stops hijacking my footie fantasies
9. Diversify the short tent category by finding men who can rival John Terry’s ability to bulge. Further,  encourage Boss Lady to take more vacation time so caution and moral compasses can be thrown to the wind in favor of high-quality crotch shots
10. Strike some sort of balance between my love for hyphens and top shelf Tequila

Luca ToniThe Stylista
11. Accept that I will never catch Victoria Beckham popping in for a “quick bite” at Burger King
12. Stop copying/posting suitable outfit options for Sergio in Polyvore and embrace his unique fashion anthem for what it is
13. Ambush Iker with epilator. Remove beard. Follow with hug
14. Cease obsessing over Luca Toni’s wooly hat collection.

Boss Lady – added
15. Approve 45% more short tent posts in 2010

Have you made any resolutions for the new year? Let us know of your year-long footie targets and we’ll do our best to provide you with all the ‘baller photos and gossip your little Choos desire.

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47 Responses to “Cheers! To Good Friends and Footie Resolutions”

  1. Rusty (Mrs Clemens F says:

    my new years resolution as it relates to Kickette:

    Lose enough weight and work out enough so that I'm in shape to ski Garmisch-Partenkirchen, near Munich, with my father, who has promised me that we can take a side trip to Bremen. Then go to practice. And meet Clemens Fritz.

    And get everyone to realize that both Steven AND Alex Gerrard are BOTH idiots. hahaha sorry.

  2. brenda says:

    hahaha

    my resolutions for 2010 and some suggestions for kickettes:

    1. going to france and marry yoann gourcouff

    2. finish my french lessons

    3. hoping to see mexico in their fifth match at the world cup

    4. to have mexican hotties in kickette, there are few but they exist… such as antonio gringo castro, gerardo lugo, duilio davino, memo ochoa there are hotties at mexico… just google them

    5. applying for business school

    6. going to the world cup

    7. SOUTH AFRICA

    8. cruz azul winning the championship at mexico

  3. IloveSlavenBilic says:

    Only wish I have: Go to Madrid, meet Iker, sleep with him, get back home and die happy!

  4. Rida says:

    I will curb down the Yoann staring. Sort of.

  5. Yasmin says:

    My resolution is to visit Kickette more often, rather than cramming 5 days worth of posts into one visit ;)

    My requests are:

    a) More Serie A coverage, please! There is so much potential there!

    b) Updates on footie babies!

  6. ba says:

    I wish you a great year 2010 and continue so with this blog because it has always been epic…but of course is even better when Kickette amend the list of finest five

  7. Inés says:

    I wish a Happy New Year to all Kickettes! I wish more Cesc, please! and…more humour and hilarious scandals and gossip, if could be possible.

    Thx for being so wonderful!

  8. Elise says:

    My best wishes to everyone for a brilliant New Year!!! And thanks, Kickette, for using THE picture. ;)

  9. Happy New Year Kickette!

    May this be the year that Nando makes it to the Finest Five.

  10. Sarah says:

    1. Graduate on time…which, since I just got an email from my not-so-prof telling me that he wouldn’t be able to add me to the class I need unless someone drops, might not be possible now. Crap. :(
    2. Get a job. (Anyone in the market for an almost college grad?)
    3. Go to Europe or South America. Meet European or South American hottie.
    4. Figure out where to go for grad school. Apply for grad school. Get into grad school.
    5. Stop being so obsessed with Arsenal. Alternative plan: embrace my obsession and move to North London to be with others of my kind.

    And my 2010 Kickette plan: push for the reinstatement of Cesc Fabregas into the F5. He has been brilliant this season and should not be overlooked!

  11. Riya (Come on you Reds!) says:

    My only resolution:

    Make Steven Gerrard realize that Alex is an idiot and that he’s actually madly in love with me.

    That is all.

    • marcella8 says:

      stevie g, 'men in uniform' calendar, next year. def, has to be made!!

      but as i am an arsenal fan, i would say:

      MAKE ALEX GERRARD REALIZE THAT STEVEN IS AN IDIOT.

      ok jokes. kickette blasphemy.

  12. FootballerChick43 - says:

    Absolutely brilliance. I literally fell over laughing.

    My resolutions:

    1. Stop overanalyzing everything – from footie to clothes. Its to the point where I'm starting to chart shots, passes, tackles, etc… during matches. Its disturbing.

    2. Stop Googling for Michael Ballack or Moritz Volz news during Business Math.

    3. Stop procrastinating Chemistry homework by reading Michael Ballack's guestbook.

    4. Stop randomly checking my phone during school for RealKaka tweets.

    And in 2010, I think its obvious who my favorite is, but… theres not really a huge Ballack fanbase around here, so I can live with it, lol. I like the mix as it is, really.

  13. marcella8 says:

    1. I will stop looking up 'yoann gourcuff' on google images every time i am 50meters close to a computer or when i am doing work. just because. (we all do that tho!!!) ok maybe i will leave that one 4 next year….

    2. I WILL TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHY THE HELL PEOPLE LIKE FERNANDO TORRES. i mean, him in the F5??? i thought it was the FINEST 5, not the FUGLY 5.

    3. I WILL SEE ARSHAVIN GET A PROPER HAIRCUT!!!! if there were awards for 'gay awkward loser' haircuts ARSHAVIN WOULD WIN THE GRAN PRIX!!

    4. I WILL NOT LET CESC GO TO BARCELONA. that would be -1000000 hotness points for arsenal….

    5. I WILL SEE BORDEAUX WIN THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE!!! ok maybe not but YOANN takes ALL his clothes of this time. mmm just the thought of that….how is he single??? i could change that…..

    6. I WILL SEE IKER SHAVED!!!! my silent protest not to watch la liga…

    PS. did u guys know they could be filming the world cup in 3D??!!! mmmmm, 3-dimensional fabregas…..YOU COULD ALMOST TOUCH HIM.

  14. marcella8 says:

    1. I will STOP looking up 'yoann gourcuff' on google images everytime i am 50 meters close to a computer!!! or especially when trying to work…(how often have we done that??:) ok maybe i will leave that one for next year.

    2. I WILL TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHY THE HELL PEOPLE LIKE FERNANDO TORRES…???? come on kickettes, F5 with torres would have to be

    fugly 5. freckles + FACIAL HAIR!!! :o

    3. I WILL NOT LET CESC GO TO BARCA!! -1000000 hotness points for arsenal.

    4. I WILL SEE ARSHAVIN GET A DECENT HAIRCUT!!

    5. I WILL SEE BORDEAUX WIN THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE!! gourcuff wiv hat-trick in the final (takes ALL his clothes off this time) mmmm <3

    6. I WILL SEE CASILLAS SHAVED!!!

    7. LADIES,WHERE IS ROQUE SANTA CRUZ?? ammmm, those 'INNOCENT' eyes…..

    8. THOSE YELLOW CARDS FOR SHIRTS TAKEN-OFF SHOULD BE BANNED FOREVER!!!! come on, dont take our joy away, stupid refs!!!!! ( little CRon incident recently….mmm….sent off….remember?)

  15. carly says:

    ahahahah so much fun!

    I fully approve of no.9, make it happen!

    Happy New Year!

  16. Line:) says:

    1. Realice that we are soo few who hate C. Ronaldo!!

    2. Remember that danish ´ballers also can be hot..

    3. Allways be happy!!

    4. Never miss a Barca match.. XD

  17. imhereforthenando says:

    1. Get my creepy love of Fernando Torres to a manageable level.
    2. Make the pilgrimage to Anfield to share the glories of Kickette
    3. Officially be able to say that I hate Cristiano Ronaldo, and be telling the truth. I wish that I could hate him, but then he will go and wear some tight booty shorts, a flower behind his ear, and do something insanely ridiculous that makes me love him in ways that just aren’t appropriate for a Liverpool lady.
    4. Forget what Alex Gerrard has ever said about Steven Gerrard’s butt hair.
    5. Be able to watch a Barcelona game without moaning every time they show Pep Guardiola
    6. Successfully campaign to get Fernando into the Finest Five
    7. Apply to grad school. This is by far the most likely one I will accomplish.

  18. Diane says:

    Please show us more pics of cesc, Nando and c ron bulging in their shorts :-)

  19. Ella says:

    Mine are to:
    1) Get Cristiano to commit to me, and become the good catholic boy we all know he is. Heehee!
    2) Get Cris, and atleast ONE american player onto the Finest Five list….lofty goals, I know!

  20. agger♥lover says:

    yes god we need nando in the f5….but anyhoo here we go

    1. accept that wenger is like a whole jose older than me

    2 & 3. stop begrudging xabi for moving and pique for killing cesc's hair :(

    4. stop strange reactions for : torres, gerrard, kelly, gourcouff, ramos, ramsey, agger and the list just goes on and on…..

    5. come to terms with thw fact that villa and/or silva will NEVER move to liverpool :(

    i guess i can forgive pique :)

    • imhereforthenando says:

      Oh my gosh, whenever I see Xabi (like when he was at Anfield for our loss to Arsenal) there are basically tears in my eyes. I'm making steps to move on, but it's a slow process. I'm with you on this one. He's a tough one to get over.

      • agger♥lover says:

        i understand the whole on the verge of tears thing, he was my wittle flabbie alonso…. i mean where do we go from here?

  21. Zo.acm says:

    Ahahahhaa. Brilliant. Loved it.
    Here’s mine—
    1) Accept that Fernando Torres is married with child.
    2) Stop spending hours on twitter waiting for RealKaka to post something.
    3) Stop checking to see if kickette has updated every 5 minutes.
    4) Accept that kickette does not update on weekends.
    5) Lobby more for Nando’s inclusion.

    Perfectly achievable. Well, atleast the last one.

    • Aisha says:

      I do that! I wait for Kaka to reply =/

      • Zo.acm says:

        Haha, yeah me too! But I'm also accepting he never will, so I just wait for tweets instead :)

        • imhereforthenando says:

          My life would be so much better if I could accept that Fernando is happily taken. This, like going to the gym and keeping my lecherous and drunk footballer comments to a minimum, is just a pipe dream.

          • Zo.acm says:

            Lol. Totally right? I mean the amount of time I spend fantasising over this man is not possible given time constraints. If I'd just spent as much time studying for my exams I'd have topped my Uni! Btw… I love your name :D

          • Amyy says:

            I accepted it :)

            Its hard but soo much easier afterwards.

            Good Luck ladiess :)

            • Zo.acm says:

              Hmm… well it worked with Kaka, got over the whole ‘How could he get married?!’ thing, but I have my doubts over Nando. How DID you do it?!

  22. Aisha says:

    My new year resolution is become a WAG.

  23. Melissa. says:

    Maybe you guys should resolve to find more hotties outside of europe..

    yes? =)

    *cough Bocanegra*

    although he technically is in a euro club..

  24. jenny says:

    More Yoann in 2010 please!!!

    And yes, more crotch shots. Definitely.