May 21st, 2012
Chelsea FC: Turning The Air Blue
This was how we looked after the game, too. Only instead of a medal, we had shot glasses on our foreheads.
Wahey the Chelsea!
The Champions League final has been twelve months in the planning. For the last couple of weeks, there’s been talk of little else in the footballing world.
Which is why, instead of forcing the celebrations into an ill-advised second day, Kickette will be launching an enquiry into how our staffers managed to arrive at the pub late, failed to get a seat, drank too much to compensate and then collapsed on 64 mins.
Drogula, moments before reaching for a heavy book to drop on the offending arachnid. Images via dirtytackle, Pete Souza/The White House via Getty Images.
Were you watching?
If you were, you were in some serious company. The G8 crew, including Barack Obama, Angela Merkel and David Cameron, were as baffled as we were over Anatoliy Tymoschuk’s new ‘Ellen’ hairdo, while Wyclef Jean and Snoop Dogg joined us in snubbing Salomon Kalou’s spider-like effort.
He knows. Image: ADRIAN DENNIS/AFP/GettyImages.
You, like them, will have seen John Terry patrolling the touchline prior to kick-off, a rueful “yeah, ok, perhaps I am a massive plum” expression on his face. Then, after half an hour or so, you’ll have welcomed our holler for Eva to come on and brighten up an otherwise dull game.
Um, did any one see which part of Tommy’s body scored the goal? Image: ODD ANDERSEN/AFP/GettyImages.
Then, if you were following the Kickette Big Match Drinking Schedule (and many of you were, you irresponsible lunatics), you’ll have wished you’d said a polite no to that additional six pack of of beer when goals from Thomas Muller, then Didier Drogba pushed the game into extra time.
If only the rest of the Chelsea crew had been so considerate with their hair. Images: REUTERS/Michael Dalder, AP Photo/Matthias Schrader.
Hopefully, you will still have been conscious when Drogba scored the winning pen, the blue half of the stadium (and David Luiz’ predator hair) exploded in merriment and JT effected the swiftest costume change in West End pantomime season history to get his hands on the trophy and the trophy on his head.
This just about summarises Fernando’s Chelsea career to date, does it not? Images: AP Photo/Matthias Schrader, AP Photo/dapd/ Michael Will.
The excitement was agonising. Or maybe that was just the hangover. Anyway, if any of you were awake at all yesterday, you’ll have caught Fernando Torres’ curiously timed comments about his Chelsea career to date:
“This season I felt things I had never felt, … they have treated me in a way I was not expecting, not the manner for which the club brought me here. We have had many conversations and now the season’s finished we will have more talks to see what happens in the future because this is not the role for which I came and I’m not happy.”
Actually, you know what? This (and Roman Abramovich’s exciting new glasses) make us wonder whether we dreamt the whole thing. Why don’t you guys watch the victory parade, while we have another snooze to find out? In the stationary cupboard. So our editors can’t find us.
In the meantime, a huge congratulations to Chelsea. You finally did it, Blue boys!