October 25th, 2011

Christine Bleakley: Fitness DVD Dame

The greatest pleasure a celebrity can have is not from doing what people say he or she cannot do, it’s by doing what people say he or she shouldn’t do.

Inspired by her ‘Sport Relief’ training regimen, as well as her own sister’s personal tales of dieting and sharing germs on the elliptical machines, Frank Lampard’s fiancée has officially jumped aboard the fitness DVD bandwagon.

At first glance, ‘Christine Bleakley: The Workout’ seems to have fallen into the cheesy trappings of all the awesomely bad product shills and late night infomercials before her – right down to the title of her signature exercise, the ‘Bleakley Blaster’. Even though an at-home, calorie-burning sweat session never killed anybody, we do know of this one gal who broke several of her critical typing/drinking tools (i.e. fingers) just by shoving the coffee table out of the way pre-Tae Bo tape.

Fat Frank and fitness WAGLook CB, we fully support your desire to be creative with your income, we really do. It’s an admirable trait that we have in common, actually. Where we think you and the production company went wrong was with the ‘retouching is best done in the dark’ instructions given to the photoshop apprentice. You certainly have the right to bear cut arms, just as long as they’re actually yours.

Because if not, this whole shill will end up like the time Victoria Beckham played coy about the concrete on her chest: we weren’t buying it then and we probably won’t be come Boxing Day either.

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12 Responses to “Christine Bleakley: Fitness DVD Dame”

  1. [...] lot have been so moody this week! First, your response to Christine Bleakley’s new fitness DVD can only be described as ‘mixed’, then [...]

  2. Cella.xx says:

    Her head looks big..photoshop can be wrong sometimes!!!

  3. Marina_Isabella says:

    pink spandex and pink letter on the cover… oh jesus… :S

  4. Tim Cole says:

    Incredibly beneficial thanks, There’s no doubt that your audience may want considerably more reviews like this continue the great content.

  5. Laura says:

    She has great figure and not too thin like Peter Crouch's trout pout missus

  6. Miss Lampard says:

    Would you like to know where I will put this fucking DVD?? Seriously…

  7. bum says:

    ah, she's become a true wag.

  8. Rachael says:

    She just irritates the hell out of me nobody appears to want to watch her naff show so who does she think is going to buy her even naffer video?

  9. lone- Brazil says:

    In Brazil it would not make any success, she has no hips or butt and even a bikini is hideous embarrassment in Copacabana!

  10. blöööööööbliiiiii says:

    she has no hips and no ass.

    maybe toooo much photoshopped?! doesn't look good