March 3rd, 2010

Clever Clogs: Brainy ‘Ballers Amongst Us

Colour us impressed: Burnley captain Clarke Carlisle popped up on Countdown last week. And he won. Twice.

Actually, we shouldn’t have been surprised; Carlisle already holds the title for Britain’s Brainiest Footballer and he described appearing on Countdown as a life long ambition.

(Is this guy really a footballer? Can someone check his ID, please?)

It does make us wonder whether there more ‘ballers out there secretly dosing up on omega-3s and cozying up to their Oxford English Dictionary for some bedtime reading.

For those not in the know, Frank Lampard’s IQ is Mensa worthy, Aston Villa hottie Nigel Reo Coker has eleven GSCE’s, former Wigan star Arjan de Zeeuw has a degree in Medicine and Cesc Fabregas was having extra tuition in science and maths when he first moved to England.

In fact Clarke isn’t even the first ‘baller to have a shot at Countdown.

Still. We’re torn about cyborg-smart footy players. For example, who out there isn’t attracted to a man that loses count on how many LV bags have been rung up at the till?

And who doesn’t find it a turn on when your man can’t properly convert the Euro when shopping on the Continent and thinks the Balenciaga accessories are dead cheap?

No? Just us then.

What do you reckon Kickettes? Would you rather Yoann spent less time curling those luscious lashes/ planning his underwear for a post-match strip and took up a degree in physics? Could you live with Cristiano’s pecks shriveling because he spent his free time doing equations instead of presses? Hardly.

Of course, it can be argued that being able to read the game, knowing how to get that pass pinpoint accurate or the way to stop your opposition’s superstar forward from playing his natural game is a form of intelligence in itself. In which case, perhaps pro players are all smarter than we give them credit for.

So, in conclusion, we have no idea what we’re talking about. Little help, Lampsy?

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35 Responses to “Clever Clogs: Brainy ‘Ballers Amongst Us”

  1. Carvivlie says:

    I don't know…good looking and smart? Then what would I bring to the table? Modesty I guess ;)

  2. sounderslove says:

    Cesc also studied French…idk if he still does, the interview was back when he was 19, and he got good marks when he was in school (as he says "with the marks, it was no problem. but I was very cheeky. Not bad, just cheeky.") And the way he handles the media, and the captaincy at the age of 22 actually requires a bit of intelligence. So yeah basically I'm in love with him.

  3. cesqui says:

    ooh, i knew a footballer who is currently in development (probably), and he could be incredibly smart if he put his mind to it. i tutored him in year 5 and he soon bested me. quite impressive. very very attractive (was in primary anyway).

    a female footballer i know is wayyy smarter than me, and i'll be a politician soon enough. HGHS in NSW. um yeah. Considering a Medicine course. freaky freaky funny girl. can't say the same for attactiveness but ahem ahem this is about male footballers and she is cute anyway.

    you need a certain type of intelligence to play soccer. it may not be the academic type of intelligence but a more common sense tactical sort.

  4. Zo.acm says:

    It helps that they're beautiful. But it helps even more when they can frame nice sentences telling you that you are too. Brains are definitely a bonus. Footballing ability is the most important, but how awesome is it if they can discuss the governement's fiscal deficit as well as the pro's of a 4-4-2 formation! Eh… too much wishful thinking?! Pretty ballers it is then!

  5. eatmyboost says:

    I understand that Iker is supposed to have done a year of business studies at uni.

  6. FootieCutie says:

    well ,, the Arsenal players said the smartest one in the team is silvestre ,,, soooooooooo ,,,

    that'll make my point clear : i like them stupid ><

  7. Venice says:

    Oh yeah, being smart definitely ups the hotness level. I guess dummies are fingerfood and smarties are the main course, just way more satisfying.

    Actually maybe I could tolerate the lack of brain cells for a while, sometimes it's endearing or amusing if the guy has that je ne sais quoi about him. (I know a few lol looking at you Charlie)

    However, I'm pretty sure there is one thing I could not tolerate, the shit taste in music most athletes seem to have. That's just sad :-(

  8. goalkeeperette says:

    I agree all the way with Erin! Although intelligence is worth nothing if the guy has a sleazy character.

    You can also add Philippe Senderos and Christoph Metzelder to the smarties!

  9. FootballerChick43 - says:

    There is nothing sexier than an intelligence in my books. Point blank.

  10. bowsie22 says:

    Um, one thing here confuses me. Cesc Fabregas was getting extra tuition in maths and science? Now forgive me if I'm wrong, but in my country, if you have a tutor and are getting tuition, it's because you're not doing too good in a subject and need extra help. Is it different in England and on the Continent? As you can see, even though I am in the last year of getting my on degree, I'm still kinda thick. Thanks for any and all help :D

    • Aud says:

      There are two types of tuition.

      1: When you need help

      2: When you are super good at a subject and want more challenging work

      I think Kickette is referring to type 2 in this case, which makes me love Cesc even more!!

  11. HiL says:

    That Carlisle guy on Burnley’s game against Pompey was the cause for Portsmouth’s two penalties. He did both of the fouls. no matter how smart he is, in football which is his profession, wasn’t his greatest moment. :P
    If a footballer is a good player, and is intelligent so it is much more attractive.

  12. Eva says:

    Unintelligent guys are embarrassing to be with…athletes or not.

    *cringing at my past experiences*

  13. Ella says:

    Good looks are awesome to have, but beauty does fade and there's nothing sexier than an intelligent man who challenges you.

  14. Jo says:

    My ideal footballer is a book-smart, street-smart athlete who can read the game with the best of ‘em. However, I’ll settle for a well-set cutie with “Just Enough Education to Perform.”

  15. IloveSlavenBilic says:

    ….and if you didnt know, Slaven Bilic has a degree in law!

  16. Erin says:

    If we’re talking long-term relationship, brainy is a must for me. You can only spend so much time drooling over luscious abs before you have to speak to the poor dope. And let’s face it, a football player has a relatively short shelf life, so they mightn’t even keep those luscious abs for all that long! No matter how pretty, dumb becomes annoying.

    All that said, I’d be willing to give it a shot with a few of them! :)

  17. Adri says:

    Gotta love the smarts. I'm all for a guy if he's hot, but I have to be able to hold a conversation with him that's deeper than a puddle in order for me to truly respect him. I'm all for dumb boy toys, but anything semi-long term requires brain cells, for sure.

    Probably explains my utter <3 for Phil Senderos. He likes to read philosophy in his spare time. :D

  18. It’s a toughie. I think I could tolerate Roy Keane being stupid as long as he was banging my brains out every night.

  19. Blair says:

    Frank Lampard is, by far, the best looking of the smarties though. Obviously.

  20. tammyv says:

    iirc Peter Cech is in college…

    Smart is key…John Tery is one of the most vacant people I have ever met. Vacant like nothing at all is going on in his head. It was a bit scary actually.

    Lamps is really interesting when I have read his comments on politics and things…

  21. Inés says:

    I like stupid boys, you can take them wherever you want!

  22. margheritina says:

    There r several German ballers who studied, e. g. Jens Lehmann or Oliver Bierhoff. I know that some others started a distance study but I dunno about their progress and success respectively …

    I read that loads of our ballers made their A-levels with really good results! I´d been glad if my results would have been nearly that good … :/

  23. Riya (Come on you Re says:

    Intelligence turns me on more than anything. Way more than looks.

  24. Sarah says:

    Yes, I wish footballers were smarter sometimes. It doesn't have to be either/or, you can be a good athlete and intelligent at the same time! And yes, I realize that most of these guys start playing football seriously from a young age and don't really have time to put a lot of effort into their studies, but it would be nice if more of them had at least a little bit of interest in learning.

    That's one thing I think is really good about American sports. A great deal of athletes go to university. Granted, lots get athletic scholarships and are accepted because of their ability, not smarts, but at least they are going to school and getting more education before joining the pro leagues.

    • senora ramos says:

      ummm, sometimes those athletes help make other students smarter. you know, their tutors. or else you wouldn't have stories about football players who can't read….still. and most bball players that are worth a damn only go the one required year of college. i actually think if you could only offer part scholarships (like baseball) instead of free rides, like football, you would get a more dedicated STUDENT-athlete. maybe.

      • Sarah says:

        Well maybe I have a slightly skewed version because at my school, 72% of student athletes graduate, which is actually kind of close to the average student number, and higher than the national rate of college graduation. Our football coach really pushes the importance of academics on our players, and yeah most of them aren’t the brightest bulbs in the box (I have had classes with a few), but they do try.

  25. Missy Manchester says:

    If you're smart, you can't abide a dumb person–for very long–no matter how rich or pretty they are. ("Pretty" has a shelf life. Beautiful doesn't.)

    If you go for smart…you tend to get most everything else too. Because smart people tend to appreciate the VALUE of money, people, beauty, morals…

    Of course …Kickette is right. What IS the definition of intelligence? Paris Hilton has made a mint off stupid and trashy…so does that make her smart?

    My head hurts.

    • senora ramos says:

      the words paris hilton and smart never go in the same sentence…ever. hope that helps your headache!

      btw, agree with 100%

    • Stiliani says:

      I think it just makes Paris a WHORE. A money-grubbing whore to be exact.

  26. senora ramos says:

    i like to think that when it comes to footballers, brawn always goes over brain. however, irl, not so much. i actually like intellectual stimulation. although, it doesn't mean i would kick any of them out of my bed (only in my dreams as i'm sure hubby would not like any of them in the bed)