April 26th, 2012

Coupe De France: Who The Ruddy Hell Are Quevilly?

Quevilly defender Cedric Vanoukia. Kind of like Pepe, only less likely to be the victim of a practical joke involving Kaka. Image: BERTRAND LANGLOIS/AFP/GettyImages.

The reason you’ve never heard of Quevilly is because they’re from the third tier of French football. Your favourite fluffy football web resource never delves that deeply into the murky depths – our manicurists hate us enough as it is – so we’ve managed to overlook the existence of this club for as long as humanly possible.

Unfortunately, now our laziness has backfired in our faces and Quevilly have rather inconveniently beaten off all comers to make it through to the final of France’s premier football cup competition. Which means we’re practically obliged to throw a sultry pout in their direction.

They better have something worth staring at.

Point Of Interest No.1

Image via l’equipe.

Name: Anthony Laup

Favoured Position: Midfielder

Kickette Qualification Event: Brandishing a bubba whilst looking hot.

In Other News: Anthony scored the last minute goal that beat Rennes and took his team to the final. Hot and useful!

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Point Of Interest No.2

Image: KENZO TRIBOUILLARD/AFP/Getty Images.

Name: Pierrick Capelle

Favoured Position: Striker

Kickette Qualification Event: Making the Kickette Cougar Division feel slightly guilty about their aspirations towards his nethers.

In Other News: Don’t panic. Despite looking like he may still be in nappies, Pierrick is actually twenty-five. As you were, people.

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Image: JEAN-FRANCOIS MONIER/AFP/Getty Images.

Names: Frederic Weis (mounter) & Karim Herouat (Mountee)

Favoured Position: It’s obvious, isn’t it?

Kickette Qualification Event: Manlove. Hours of thrillingly pleasurable manlove.

In Other News: It isn’t just these two, y’know. Manlove in all it’s beautiful articulations is rampant in this club.

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Seen anything you fancy, Kickettes?

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9 Responses to “Coupe De France: Who The Ruddy Hell Are Quevilly?”

  1. Carla says:

    YES, i just can agree with vivienne..coupe de france is so cool! top clubs, amateur clubs…and a lot of nice guys ;-) That hoodie is just great!

  2. Vivienne says:

    This is why I love the Coupe De France; amateur and semi-professional clubs get to compete with the big guns. The prize is a place in the Europa League, but Quevilly have said they wouldn't take it since they don't think they're ready to compete in Europe and it wouldn't be fair to take away a place that could go to a 'more deserving' club; they're just genuinely happy to be have got this far, and to be playing at the Stade de France! I'm rooting for them.

  3. doug in sf says:

    Makes me all quivery.

  4. Gladys says:

    Being underdogs makes them all the more hotter.

    And I think Pierrick Capelle is drinking from Ibi Afellay's fountain of youth. I love a clean-cut boyish man.

    Bon chance, fellas!!!

  5. [...] It’s time to pay a bit of attention to the tiny French club with a shot at the Cup. What town? // Kickette [...]

  6. rafaela says:

    Can anyone send me in a present package the manloved guys at my house, please?!!

  7. Jenni says:

    I think that Vanoukia dude looks kind of beautiful in that hoodie. If I didn't know better, I'd say he was one of their ultras! Love that look…

  8. Carvivlie says:

    Gourcuff playing would be all the man candy I need!