December 10th, 2010

Cover Boy: Landon Donovan For Outside Magazine

Photos copyright Outside Magazine/Peggy Mirota

We’re warming up to the Landon Donovan situation, Kickettes.

Sure, we love the L.A. Galaxy/USMNT star’s fun and sarcastic tweets, banter about his hairline with both fans and chit chat with his woman. (FYI, we kind of love her because of her best lyric tweet eva.)

But really, we’re all over Mr. D’s latest photoshoot. Homeslice is w-o-r-k-i-n-g it out on the cover of the January 2011 Outside magazine.

Mr. Donovan’s excellent photo spread has reminded us that despite being the #1 authority on all things fluffy and footy, we’ve yet to obtain our doctorates in male anatomy (and probably never will now due to the current dismal state of affordable education), and thus, must seek to constantly learn new lessons and share our key insights with the masses.

Goodness that was a long arse sentence with little coherency.

Anyhoosies, here are some lessons we’ve learned from Landon:

(Lead photo, above) 1. We will never underestimate the power of a dimple again

2. The world needs more hairy-chested men

3. Everything and anything is better in water.


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76 Responses to “Cover Boy: Landon Donovan For Outside Magazine”

  1. yurifabregas says:

    not really into him, but he’s kinda cute, i admit…

  2. Whitney says:

    Sometimes he's hot, sometimes he's not. I like him though. BTW, I'm loving the chest hair! It seems to be well groomed.

  3. Lucy says:

    WOW! Some people are calling him a jerk. Have you guys actually met him or is it just the way he is in interviews that makes you think he is a jerk? I hope you guys actually meet him one day to see how gracious he is.

  4. Anna says:

    Landon has short man syndrome. He acts like he has a small dick and is aggressive and petty in order to compensate. Then there's the giant Chevy truck that he drives… lends more to my theory. hahahah

  5. Mrs. Bale says:

    I'll bet Mrs. Bale is 400 pounds and eating bon bons right now as we speak!!! LOL!

  6. yaya says:

    Landon is the best! All we who are lucky enough to have Landon on our side can say to the haters is….don't hate us 'cause you ain't us!

  7. NikkyNicole says:

    What I don't understand is why the haters have to comment at all. I mean, I don't get on here and hate on your favorite players – even if I can't stand them, and usually I don't particularly like who some of the favorites are. so I just don't comment. Some of y'all get on here and act like little catty school girls.

    Anyway, thank you to Kickette for featuring Landon, though. He's still hot, hot, hot.

    • LiLi says:

      He's not, not, not! And we pick on him for the same reasons that his USMNT teammates make fun of him and exclude him: because he asks for it and he's an idiot jerk. Haha. I hope Stu Holden takes the #10 from him soon. Deserves it.

    • The_Naked_Truth says:

      For Pete's sake….
      HE IS NOT HOT!
      Hot is the word we use for Iker or Cesc or Pique or Becks or Borriello or Yoann or Nando…
      Compare Landon with them and there is nothing in common…!
      I understand he is a role model for many American kids, he may be a good footballer but, the fact of the matter is he is not HOT in any universe, any planet…maybe Mars, but not here on Earth!
      I am not hating he maybe a good person and all.
      But, please don't bring a disgrace to the word HOT! which should be exclusively used for the ballers mentioned above…
      Call Landon…I dunno…down-to-earth, funny, cuddly bear whatever just don't tell me he's a hottie otherwise, so many "LANDON IS HOT" comments will compel me to get my eyesight checked, which was 6/6 just 2 weeks ago!

      p.s he ain't hot.

  8. meh says:

    Lol, they covered his head to disguise the reseeding hairline of his…

  9. @DebStimson says:

    so much hatred…are you a spurned lover?

  10. rainstarmcgee says:

    i absolutley love Landon! He is such a funny dude(assuming from his tweets, im a follower) and he is adorable. why hate on him. he hasnt done anything to deserve this kind of hate, if anything us Americans should praise him for opening up Americas eyes to one of the best sports in the world. I love Landon and always will, all you haters can fall in a hole!

  11. bri_saldana says:

    I swear there are some nasty snitches on these post…seriously the over-the-top hater attitudes are just pathetic! Nobody wants to hear your crazy anti-LD rants, get some kickette class!!!

    • Rossanera says:

      People are allowed to express their opinion, and there were only a couple that were actually mean-spirited.

      • bri_saldana says:

        Wait…why not just own up and say that YOU perhaps want to hear these LD rants? Since I did indicate that "nobody" wants to hear it perhaps I should not have spoken on your behalf….either way I did NOT indicate censorship of people's opinions, I was calling out the low-blow comments for what they were…PATHETIC!

        • Diavolina21 says:

          There are hardly any posts I've seen so far, either in favour of or against Landon, that actually qualify as "rants" … the only person that seems to be ranting is you.

  12. Rossanera says:

    I lost any respect I had for him after those infantile tweets of his about Qatar/the Qatari football team on Decision Day. There's being funny, there's being sarcastic, there's having a sense of humour that some may not quite catch on to …

    and there's being a tasteless, sore loser.

    • NikkyNicole says:

      You should go to and see his video interview after Qatar was awarded the World Cup. He was very sincere and gracious.

      His twitter account is simply for fun. That's the only reason he gets on there. He has a marvelous sense of humor. You obviously don't get his humor so I'd suggest maybe not following him. He is anything but a sore loser and tasteless.

      Or here's another suggestion. If you fail to see the humor in his tweet, allow that sometimes folks make mistakes. You could focus on some of the good things he does – helping the Make A Wish kids, genuinely spending his time with this child and brightening his day. He constantly helps those less fortunate. He rescues dogs…the list goes on and on. Maybe u could rekindle some respect.

      • LiLi says:

        Donovan has always been a petulant sore loser. 95% of people who follow soccer haven't been able to stand him for YEARS, the other 5% probably only became LD "fans" after his goal against Algeria and are back to ignoring soccer. Suspicious that *now* he's trying to get himself and his charitable pursuits in the media, he's obviously trying to repair his image for more $$. Not buying it. Once a jerk, always a jerk.

        • Leya_S says:

          I kind of agree with this.
          I have mixed feelings about Landon, bc on the one hand, I can't deny that he's been huge in the fight to make soccer a popular national pastime in the US.
          HOWEVER, over the years there have been (quite a few) times where I felt like he's kind of had this "holier than thou" attitude that I could have done without. In a way, i wasn't entirely surprised by what he said on Twitter. I understand that Twitter is for fun, like NikkyNicole says, but he has to know that he has like 3083749234 followers, so why say things that might be easily misconstrued by the masses?

          • Rossanera says:

            That's the point I was trying to make. Like, I don't "follow" Landon and I am largely unfamilar with him/his sense of humour – as Nikky pointed out. That said, if ALL I happen to see of Landon- the alleged icon of the beautiful game in America – are these inappropriate tweets, what image am I going to take of him? I just found it really infantile and for some reason it really irked me. I feel like the US has been, for whatever reason, the outcast of the footballing world for a long time, and stuff like this from one of its most widely recognized spokesmen isn't really going to help its image.

            I hope I'm making sense … I don't think I am, sadly.

            I'm not quite sure if this is making sense

      • Rossanera says:

        His charity work aside, which is commendable, no fault there, the fact that he is a public figure – and that he was one the of "ambassadors" for the US bid – means that he should exercise/have exercised a little more discretion. Sarcasm isn't always appropriate, especially when there's the potential for it to be misconstrued by thousands of people. I don't actually follow him on Twitter, I heard about the Tweets on blogs maintained by American soccer fans who were disappointed with his behaviour. I know people make mistakes, for sure. But has he backtracked or apologized? It's easy to be "gracious" when the cameras are on you …

        I mean, it was just uncalled for, is what I'm trying to say.

        But I respect your empassioned defence of your idol !

  13. bri_saldana says:


  14. C.C. says:

    All the Landon "hate" gets a lot of thumbs down, even when it doesn't seem particularly mean. I guess I haven't really read most of the comments for other articles, but Donovan seems like he has some pretty devoted fans! Personally, I don't get the appeal. I can almost see it in the last picture…but the hairy chest ruins it for me. *shrug* There is only one hairy chest I need and that's Xabi's. ;)

    • @DebStimson says:

      I think the "thumbs down" are because of the nastiness of the comments.

      It's one thing to say "not my taste" or "I don't get the appeal" but it's totally another to call someone "ugly", untalented, etc.

  15. xoWinnie says:


    (some people do want to see this very much though,
    not me personally, but SOME people)

  16. Catie says:

    Ahh good to know a copy of this should be in my mailbox in the next day or two :)

  17. *lol* :) says:

    how is he short??? cause he is like 5'9 or 5'8 …. too me that is not short… but then again… I'm 5'3…

  18. alma says:

    Wow he dosen't look anything like him self on the cover

  19. i am a proud American and even prouder of Landon (true we did not win the world cup) but we won a little more respect from other countries they now know the u.s. is a good team with a whole lot of heart. This guy made us believe, smile, jump up and down with hapiness. i love him no matter what even when he doesnt do or say the best things ever.

  20. second picture look at hid Booty !!!!!!!

  21. senora ramos says:

    i love me some landycakes…for his sense of humor and wonderful role model for young american soccer players to look up to. he actually looks really cute in these pics…who knew?!

    • Anushka says:

      No, he doesn't…the second picture is particularly bad, bad angle, receding hairline whatever the reason…
      I'd rather feed landycakes to my cat..than have some myself.
      Whatever, though it's your opinion! and I respect it just shared mine too..
      p.s getting ready for the thumbs down…what happened to freedom of expression..??

  22. Lisa NYC says:

    Must negate the hate! Landon’s chest and glorious hip bones are quite tasty. I agree with Violet. Landon is an American soccer hero whose success will only help the USMNT now and in the future.

  23. aps says:

    not cute.

  24. NikkyNicole says:

    Wowza!!!! Landon Donovan is super hot, super fine, and super nice! His smile is soooo freakin' cute. And he's approachable. Truly one of the nicest people you'll ever meet. When does this issue his the newsstands? Or is it out already? I'm heading to the store…..

  25. Shout out to our boy from the OC: soccer moms down here love you! His smile has megawattage and we love his attitude.

  26. Amber says:

    Finally some hairy chest boys are gettin some love. I’m getting pretty tired of the overtaxed chests out there. I want a MAN dang it! And they’re supposed to be hairy. Otherwise, I too happen to be extremely sarcastic, so I find Landon’s tweets pretty humerous actually. He’s the golden boy of American soccer, and anyone who can raise the status of footie in the States is alright in my book. On a side note, I have met him a few times, and he really is great to his fans. Guess I’m saying I am a Landon fan even though he is short (or I’m too tall)!

  27. OWG says:

    His weird head is covered up, that's why these photos are decent. Still a whiny, nasally-voiced jerk to the nth degree.

  28. Anjali says:

    I couldn't even recognize him, until I saw the rest of the pics. Thank God we have a proper man with chest hair. I'm sick of seeing these ultra waxed chests among footies. Landon looks so hot by the way. So all you Landon haters lay off our US toyboy okay : )

  29. shay says:

    He's not the hottest on the USMNT but it's hard to compete with the likes of Boca, Robbie Rogers or even precious little Stu Holden. However I must say Landycakes is looking mighty fine up in herr-a!

  30. blake2108 says:

    That chest is phenomenal.

    I'll definitely make the most of those pics.


  31. Violets says:

    Hah, Landon Donovan hate not predictable AT ALL. /sarcasm

    No, he doesn't play in the EPL or La Liga (worse: MLS–what even IS that?!). No, he doesn't have Fernando Torres' hair and you either get his sarcastic sense of humor or you don't (the boy is from SoCal…people who don't know what that means probably aren't going to get it), but he's a damn good football player and, speaking as a USMNT fan, he means A LOT to US Soccer. Young footballers in your country want to grow up to be Gerrard or Casillas? Well young soccer players in our country want to grow up to be Landon Donovan. So lay off our boy, okay?

    • Violets says:

      Ahem, realized that I forgot to actually comment on the photos from my soapbox =]. They're awesome–he looks great!

      • Leya_S says:

        HOLLER!!! Well said!
        I have mixed feelings about Landon Donovan a lot of the times depending on what he says (I'm from the East coast so we have our own different brand of sarcastic humor), but I think he's a great role model for young American soccer players!

        Also, whilst he is not always my cup of tea, I think he looks ABSOLUTELY delish in that second pic, IMHO…

    • Natasha says:

      I'm not American,so I don't what southern California has to do with his sarcasm,but I think he's funny-or at least his tweets lol. And to be honest I was impressed with the US NT in the WC. They played very well,even though they didn't pass the round of 16. I mean,nobody expected US to do better than England in the group stage,but they did.
      Landon was one of the best players on the USNT and I do think he's very cute too :)

      • Violets says:

        Haha, I meant that a lot of people (not necessarily on here) have complained about his monotone voice and the fact that he sounds like a stoner when he talks, which makes it difficult to tell when he's being serious or not :)

    • *lol* :) says:

      WELL SAID !!!

    • bri_saldana says:

      preach it sista!!!

    • Catie says:

      Hear Hear!

    • @DebStimson says:

      Exactly! Well said. I love "El capitán America LD"

  32. Daria says:

    I figured out why these photos suck. One, that last photo of him kicking the ball in the water? Already been done (for the same magazine, even) :… Plus his strange hairline is covered up with a hoodie or cut out of the photos. Pfft. I or anyone could've done better. Wonder if they recycled the article/interview, too?

    • Violets says:

      He's from Southern California and it's obviously really important to him (i.e. he left Germany voluntarily to play in CA). The entire culture there revolves around the ocean, so it's not exactly surprising that they've done multiple photoshoots of him in the water.

  33. Deanna says:

    I don't really find Landon typically attractive, but these pics are WOW. He looks VERY attractive in them. DAMN

  34. starsarella says:

    u knw wat i loved more than this shoot, the kickette quips re: landy. :)

  35. loves la roja says:

    why all the landon hate?! ok, ok – so he might not be super hot, but he is super cute.

  36. Louise says:

    Is that a hummingbird on his wrist?

    If I want a hairy chest, I'll go with Xabi.

  37. Alex Samuel says:

    3rd photo's my fave. His hand looks so strange in the first one! He reminds me too much of Leonard from The Big Bang Theory.

  38. Lauren says:

    She's not his woman anymore.

    • Sara says:

      r u sure? bc they tweet each other a lot!

      • Daria says:

        They're best friends but getting divorced. Plus he's tellin everyone he's single.

        • @DebStimson says:

          I thought I'd heard that they had broken up too. I think it happened shortly after the rumor about him father a child with the woman while he was at Everton, right?

          Thanks for clarifying.

          • Mrs. Bale says:

            I think it's so sad. I think they were trying to patch things up during the world cup until that story came out. Oh well. At least they can remain friends. That doesn't happen too often.

          • Lucy says:

            They split up before the story came out. They were on the red carpet at the ESPYS together when the story was out. I think they went as friends though. I really hope they get back together though. They are just such a cute couple.

  39. Amandinha says:

    he´s short. nuff said.