June 28th, 2011

Cover Girl: Abbey Clancy For Esquire UK

Images via Esquire/Solve Sundsbo.

Hey fellas? We know you’re there. Don’t say we never did anything for you.

Presented with little (but colourful) commentenary is Abbey Clancy’s first post-pregnancy editorial for Esquire UK. Adjectives are really the only words that come to mind for us: scorching, smokin’, gorgeous, hot, drool. Okay so that last one is a verb, but you can understand that our mental wires have become jumbled after viewing the future Mrs Crouch’s flawless photo set. This is why a dirty game of Mad Libs never seems to work out for us.

In the article, Abbey claims that she was an ugly child who had natural jet black hair and was addicted to fake tan, which made her look a bit like a Native American. Right. And we’ll stay sober this weekend.

Abbey looks amazing, yes?

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26 Responses to “Cover Girl: Abbey Clancy For Esquire UK”

  1. tool steel says:

    So beautiful posts,all I like,hope to be better then,and enjoy yourself,good luck in your life.Thanks for your ideas to something.

  2. Agnes Wonka says:

    defo, we all do!

  3. Marina_Isabella says:

    Btw, you can see how dumb this woman is when she mentions that she was addicted to tanning but since (unfortunately) her hair is orig. jet black, she looked 'native american' what exactly is she trying to say? that looking native american is intrinsically ugly? that she'd just rather look fake blonde and orange as she does now, cause that's 'oh so bleeping gorgeous!'?… Airhead. No wonder she stayed with her cheater husband-to-be.

    "The 25-year-old added: ‘I’ve always been a bit of a poser. I was chucked out of ballet lessons for looking in the mirror. I’m not vain, I just love make-up and dressing up."


    • Lilly says:

      Totally. When I read about the "native american" comment, I was like I bloody WISH I looked native american, it's an amazing look imo. Stupid remark Abbey.

  4. Ani says:

    2 things. Is it just me or does her shadow, especially around the stomach area, look rather a different shape (as in, rounded out like a normal post-pregnancy woman rather than unnaturally flat) than she is? And is that something jutting up between her hips or does it just look like that because they photoshopped away the top of her right thigh?
    Sorry to be nitpicky, it just really annoys me that women are expected to fit an image that only exists because a boffin spent 3 hours at a computer desk. She's gorgeous in her own right, why alter her?

  5. Marina_Isabella says:

    :/ attn wh*re… just cause her husband is a footballer! Is if people need to know or care about her!

  6. icarus says:

    I agree with the grossly photoshopped comment, but i envy Peter all the same cheating or not,he must stop doing that though i can encourage him to take his cheating to Barca he might just end up taking over from Alves.

  7. Red_Girl says:

    Looks good or looks air-brushed and unnatural? And what on earth she sees in the multi-millionaire walking-stilt, Peter Crouch…

  8. Bree says:

    Photoshoped way to much.Unfortunately for her being pretty doesn’t mean much,it just makes her a good looking doormat for not very looking footballer who also happens to be a jerk for cheating on her.

  9. Agnes Wonka says:

    I don't like her, coz she's so like the typical wag to me, but indeed she is really beautiful and she looks sexy in this shoot!

  10. obviously envious says:

    In the nicest way possible…

    Aaah, I hate her!

  11. Deedoodahday says:

    Silly woman, she traded too soon. A few magazine photo shoots and appearances on the catwalk later and she could have had her pick of the World Class crowd, instead she picked a cheating half man half ladder!

  12. .............. says:

    Abbey. You should be with a hot footballer like Cesc. Not that andre the giant looking mo fo who cheat's and does not know a good thing when he has it! You look hottt dowll!

    • Agnes Wonka says:

      I wish Cesc had a beautiful sexy woman like her!

      • BlackRose says:

        I seriously doubt she's Cesc's type at all. And he seems to be very happy without "a beautiful sexy woman" like her, anyway ;)

        This said, the pictures: over-sexualized like Cay says (it's always the same and it becomes tedious, cliche, unimaginative), but I find her beautiful indeed.

        • mena says:

          "…it's always the same and it becomes tedious, cliche, unimaginative…"

          Totally agree with you! Abbey's photoshoots are always the same. They've gotten BORING.

          As a professional model, you'd think Abbey would be able to pull off lots of different looks & styles, but these… "be a passive sex object" photoshoots seem to be the only jobs she ever does.

          Being a model is already a short career. Being a one-trick pony model is even shorter. But I guess with Peter's fame & fortune, Abbey doesn't care about being versatile.

  13. Cay says:

    She's a pretty girl, but I would have hoped that she'd want to set an example for her daughter that you don't have to overly sexualize your image just to get people to pay attention to you.

  14. JA7 says:

    The girl is hooott !

  15. Lily says:

    Even though she is gorgeous, she's going to marry Peter Crouch. No reason to be jealous.

  16. Sure the pics are nice, but why do these WAGS always feel the need to rub it in our face how unbelievably fast they can get back into shape?

  17. Bridget says:

    Meh. Her body looks abnormal … I hate grossly photoshopped crap. Not her fault; she's a pretty girl regardless.

  18. Miss XOXO says:


  19. Man says:

    don't try to cover it up by blaming it on us, men. it's you who secretly like women like abbey clancy. we, men, are everywhere.