December 4th, 2012
Cricket Christmas Party: The 12 WAG Days Of Christmas
We’ll keep this relatively short and simple, Kickettes. If you’ve judged one Cricket Christmas Party, you’ve judged them all. Or something like that.
The legendary Liverpool designer boutique that caters to your favorite Northwest WAGs and ours held its annual Christmas shindig last night and it certainly wasn’t lacking in everything you’ve come to know and love and love to make fun of.
First, the outfits. Had Coleen Rooney’s bump been any bigger we would have been forced to make the obvious snake that swallowed a basketball joke.
Luckily she’s still pretty small, but that doesn’t mean we’re totally convinced by this Lanvin dress. She does look very pretty though and the Scouse brows seem to be under control for the time being.
_
Alex Gerrard was there looking pleased as punch with herself, as usual. Her Stella McCartney dress, Giuseppe Zanotti heels, and Valentino clutch make a nice treble of designer duds and don’t hurt her chances of achieving her lifelong dream of becoming a Kardashian. Or at least looking as much like one of them as possible. She also managed to get the Duchess of Cambridge’s new “it” hair cut in record time. Keep on being yourself, Alex.
Now, we weren’t privy to the goings on inside the party, but we’d like to think we sort of know. Epic amounts of bubbly are likely consumed, canapés went uneaten in an effort to stay thin, and they all talked topically about how fabulous they are.
Also, we’d like to think there’s a proper sing-a-long. Everyone loves Christmas carols so join us now in a rousing rendition of the 12 WAG Days Of Christmas (sung to the tune of this obviously):
Twelve Fake Tans
Eleven Louboutins
Ten Hair Extensions
Nine Pairs Of Spanx
Eight False Eyelashes
Seven Scouse Brows
Six Lanvin Dresses
Five Engagement Rings
Four Push Up Bras
Three Crates Of Booze
Two Prada Clutches
And an accidental pregnancy
Enjoy the festive season, Kickettes!
Thank ysdh those plans for world domination (if they involve footballer bo
Thank you, and good luck with those plans for world domination (if they involve footballer bo
thanmkss
Coleen was not EVER "pretty small", she is way too curvy for that. This dress is awful though, no matter who wears it.
Alex's dress is awful. Kardashian indeed! She looks good though.
Oh those mixed feelings about Alex are coming back.
you do not know what to talk, I guarantee she was fat you criticize more like she's perfect you aranja some motivo pra wing evil. alex simply beautiful.
Is Colleen pregnant? o.O
I think she may have announced that she was a few months ago.
On another note, AG really pulled off that dress!
OMG! I didn't know that!
I've been so focued on uni I totally forgot the world really…. :S
Yes haha
Alex's head looks huge…too bobblehead. She needs to put on some weight.
I don't like Alex's dress though her shoes are nice.Coleen could do better with the outfit,but her make-up is fantastic.
Marry Christmas already to you kickettes =)
I love the 12 WAG Days Of Christmas.so funny.
And I love that this Christmas many ballers have cute little babies to celebrate with =) May god bless everyone!
For once I actually think Alex looks great!
Alex's dress is fantastic… love it. Shockingly she looks better than Colleen though the bump makes cute dressing harder
Horror show, with so many gorgeous dresses … Alex Gerrard can go out as a girl of easy virtue!
Collen please return the snakes … they left you ugly!