April 5th, 2011
Cristiano Ronaldo: Tourism Titan?
Lately, when it comes to Cristiano Ronaldo, we feel like we’ve been watching the longest episode of Punk’d ever made. We’ve never wanted to mase Ashton Kutcher as bad as we do now.
Low and behold the latest rancid rose to be shat from Ronaldo’s blingtastic bowels: a luxury hotel and golf course bearing his name. Just last week, Gucci’s primary source of revenue went to Porto Santo, Portugal (via private jet, natch) to check up on his minions and see how lavishly they’ve been spending his initial €50 – €70 million island investment. On his way out, he grabbed a bag of sand to take back home to Madrid, since local folklore insists that sand has superior, shiny black suit healing powers.
So, Kickettes, if we get a good group travel rate and throw in free furry handcuffs for all, are you for or against crashing the CR7 hotel’s opening night party with us?