September 25th, 2009
Cristiano Ronaldo: Unfaithful?
It happens to the best of us:
You meet someone new; they’re not like others you’ve known before.
But inevitably, as in any relationship, the two of you become more comfortable around each other. You don’t make the effort you used to before. You floss in the vicinity of your partner. They… leave the bathroom door open. And most tellingly, your infamous physique begins to suffer from all those nights spent eating takeout by the telly.*
So what’s to be done?
Have an affair, obviously. And if you’re going to choose anyone, wouldn’t it be Sergio Ramos? He’d never force you to have long, deep conversations about life, the universe and everything. It would be all shopping and Gucci belt comparisons.
Damn you Cristiano, you’re living our dream life right now.
*We estimate Cristiano now has 4% body fat, instead of his usual 3.75%.