September 25th, 2009

Cristiano Ronaldo: Unfaithful?

Cristiano holds on tight

It happens to the best of us:

You meet someone new; they’re not like others you’ve known before.

There’s a spark. And so, it begins.

But inevitably, as in any relationship, the two of you become more comfortable around each other. You don’t make the effort you used to before. You floss in the vicinity of your partner. They… leave the bathroom door open. And most tellingly, your infamous physique begins to suffer from all those nights spent eating takeout by the telly.*

So what’s to be done?

Cristiano and SergitoHave an affair, obviously. And if you’re going to choose anyone, wouldn’t it be Sergio Ramos? He’d never force you to have long, deep conversations about life, the universe and everything. It would be all shopping and Gucci belt comparisons.

Damn you Cristiano, you’re living our dream life right now.

*We estimate Cristiano now has 4% body fat, instead of his usual 3.75%.

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21 Responses to “Cristiano Ronaldo: Unfaithful?”

  1. Jason says:

    Cristiano is my hero. The most handsome dude on the planet. I'd sell my countrys crown jewels to be with him!

  2. NinyaC says:

    it looks like Sergio and Ronnie are sharing Nereida stories?

    P.S. I love the Ronaldo-Kakà pairing and this is one of the major reasons I am watching Real Madrid these days. ♥

  3. Ines del Sol says:

    I'm refusing to accept this pairing. Kaka would be much better – better influence and all. Sergio should stick with Guti :P but I think Guti is busy with Granero.. :P Real Madrid.. damn you lads…

  4. Jelly says:

    haha. cristiano can keep them. Although I feel he would suit kaka best. They speak the same language. Cristiano has put on weight? He still looks good. lol

  5. Ella says:

    Wow, Sergio's hair is even worse up close….yet I'm still insanely jealous of him…due to his proximity to Cristiano. I must say, I think Cris should stay w/ Kaka – he's a better influence and you shouldn't be with someone too much like yourself! LOL!

  6. Zatti says:

    wow cris and sergio are just perfect together!!!!!!!!!!!!

    they're both hot and like to party! well done!!!!!

    cris and kaka are to diferent, what would they talk about besides football?

  7. vienna says:

    nooo, sergio, stay away from greasiano!

  8. c9 says:

    What a way to turn up the mood in my slow moving afternoon!!!

    ROFLMAO kickette……….I can always count on you folks to make a great day into an unbelievable one!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. RONALIZA says:

    wow!! crissy is so so hottt…by the way sergio and cris look so cute together..thank u kickette 4 everything..THE BEST WEBSITE.

  10. Rusty (Frau Clemens says:

    I really prefer my men with about eight percent body fat. He's a little too bony for me.

  11. FootballerChick43-&q says:

    I think I just fell over laughing. But I think CRon is now going after Kaka rather than Sergio.

  12. MrsC says:

    Oh Sergio?!! Hast thou forgotten Iker as well? Sure Cris has a certain shiny glow and Iker is unecessarily hairy these days, but how can you stray the course?

  13. Susie says:

    I bet a shopping trip with the both of them would be a blast.

    Cristiano and Sergio seem like they would both be hysterically funny together.

  14. barcafan6 says:

    oh no! while deep inside I really love a prospect of sr4/cr9 I can stand the sad puppy dog face of gago if that happens.. but brilliant as always kickette!

  15. Lidoli says:

    LOL!!!! this is a great site Kickette…you always make me laugh!!!! :)

  16. Boston Red says:

    Unicorns and rainbows. I told you.

  17. shay says:

    Have no fear. It won’t be long before he’s again gazing meaningfully into Kaka’s eyes while that talk about Jesus.

  18. teamtoto says:

    LOL, Kickette you kill me!

  19. mrs aaron ramsey (&# says:

    may ramos and c.ron have a happy life togetger as long as neither are corrupting my sweet, innocent little guti we should be good

  20. They can compare man-purses too.