June 30th, 2010
Cristiano Ronaldo: We Need To Talk
If you look closely, Crissy’s in there. Images via Reuters via Daylife.
You see, we saw your strangely wide, heavily-gelled faux-hawk type coiff in last night’s game. And while it’s subtle enough now, we are extremely concerned that if you continue along this stiffly slicked path, your next logical career move will be try outs for the latest series of Jersey Shore.
While you would clearly fit in well, we fear for the suppliers of fake tan in the Tri-state area and their ability to cope with the sudden spike in demand. Buy some clippers, even if they’re leopard, and shave.if.off. All of it. It will change your life and ours.
Kisses and nose rubs,