October 22nd, 2010
Cristiano Ronaldo: Would You Buy A Watch From These Jazz Hands?
Well, this is a lesson for those who throw money at footballers to shill their products. Don’t make them wear clothes, as it takes them out of their comfort zone and they end up posing like this. Jazz hands meets the chicken dance with a side of pre-bitch slap positioning.
Actually, we shouldn’t blame Cris. Hell no. Boy is hot. And it’s not his fault the art director told him to assume a baby-holding position. (Lord knows he hasn’t a clue how to do that.) No, we can’t hold this digitally enhanced rain avec warm sunset glow shot on CR. We’ve seen his modeling before, remember? The clothes must take responsibility. His best-in-the-biz body must never be covered.
Yes. Let’s put it on the clothes.
Except for the one flaw in this justification:
The crazy eyes. That’s not smizing, Cris! That’s the expression one makes when your credit card gets rejected at Nobu! And That Would Never Happen To You.
Side note: what gives with the third nipple coming out of his perfect bicep? Perhaps the bitch slap positioning is justified – Cris, give a swift one to the person photoshopping the hellouttayou.