November 23rd, 2010

Cristiano: Tanned & Scanned

In an effort to disprove Jose’s theory that he is composed entirely of wood, Cristiano agreed to undertake a full body scan. The results, though disappointing for the player, enabled his insurers to promptly insert a clause in his policy advising against exposure to naked flame. Image via lipstick alley

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28 Responses to “Cristiano: Tanned & Scanned”

  1. Anon says:

    Can I get this job, please?

  2. Gillian says:


  3. Lily Baby Lily says:

    ARGH Irina is so lucky!

  4. N says:

    OOOOF. Now if only he'd hire me for a stylist (I appreciate that his taste is his own but seriously, boy could do with some fashion help) and find himself a nice girl who doesn't want to be with him only for the publicity/gold-digging (he's not my type, are any of you nice Kickettes free to take over where I can't?) and we're all set.

  5. LaGrace says:

    Does he have his toenails painted?

  6. Amandinha says:

    why on earth is he dressed?

  7. sidney says:

    oh cristiano :) :):):)

  8. GracieB says:

    he needs to go thru this process:
    1. US airport full body scan
    2. then a detailed security pat down (now we're talking)
    this would be a great Thanksgiving present!!

  9. bri_saldana says:

    OOOOh my…C9's body is look'n quite beefy!

    • VS1986 says:

      I know! I love it!

      • bri_saldana says:

        I'm not a C9 lover by nature, more of an admirer. However, under Mourinho he's doing so well…and I must admit, it's SEXY AS HELL on him. I could swear that he's never filled a t-shirt & jeans so well.

  10. VS1986 says:

    How I wish to be one of those doctors examining his precious feet. But knowing myself when it comes to CR, I would be examining other things… his bulging chest, muscular thighs, and what's in between those muscular thighs :P

    • RONALIZA says:

      I WAS ABOUT TO SAY THAT…SO, let's make a partnership and just do the best examining for CR…

  11. Niina says:

    Totally! The crowd was whistling every time he touched the ball, but scoring twice was an excellent revenge! I'm beginning to like him more and more (the Armani ad has nothing to do with this), he got fauled so much but didn't lose his cool. So yay for Cris!

  12. Maribel says:

    Oh how I would love to scan his body….

  13. d0li says:

    I love how they're wearing white coats to make this look legit. haha

  14. lyricm9 says:

    eish, i think im in love with ronaldo

  15. rubyqueen says:

    can we have a naked medical.??and can i please be the doctor.??pretty please.:)

  16. LoseThatGirl says:

    Funny. The guys are all staring at his feet. Bring in female workers and they'll definitely be staring at something else!

  17. BarceLisa says:

    not nearly as pornographic as Yoann's during his Lyon medical. While theyre inserting clauses, they might as well add one about making bad fashion choices…. oh who are we kidding, its Cristiano.

  18. mimis says:

    he is supporting to stop the full body scans? really? he is the number one in this world that likes to show his naked body….anyways, I wish that I could see his full body scanner!!! =)