June 11th, 2009

Cristiano Ronaldo: The 80 Million Pound Man

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Cristiano Ronaldo outside Villa nightclub in Los Angeles. June 10, 2009.

Here he is, all 80 millions worth of Real Madrid purchase power. He does have a stain on his jeans, thanks for noticing.

Goodbye, Cristiano! We’ll miss your incredible talent in the Premier League. It will be strange to not have him line up with the Red Devils at the start of the season, no?

We are looking forward to the style battle between C-Ron and Sergio Ramos in Madrid. Potentially that could provide us with 40 photos a week of fashion Eurotrash goodness.

We’re also curious to see what Man Utd will do with that kind of wonga.  Hopefully they’ll put it to good use: investing in new invisible uniform technology is our recommendation.

Your thoughts on the move? We’re sure everyone is glad the back and forth, will he/won’t he is over, but is this a good move for Cristiano? For Real Madrid? For football?

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59 Responses to “Cristiano Ronaldo: The 80 Million Pound Man”

  1. Venice says:

    I guess the next step for Real Madrid is the special edition of Big Brother. Cameras in the change room and lets roll!

    CRon and Guti in a catfight; Kaká reveals the intimate details of his past in the diary room; Ramos and VdV caught gossiping on Robben – Robben’s feeling depressed for days and feels the team is turning against him.

  2. BS_guapa_grl6 says:

    me too Aristeia, when I heard the news I was like GROSS!!!

  3. Sarah says:

    Thanks for the greatness and the genius but I’m more thankful that this is over now. Can’t wait to see Real Madrid’s Galacticos Mk II and all the clashes that came with the first set. Thanks Perez for the £80M, really great that United (your feeder club for the last couple of years) are playing their part in the bankruptcy of Real Madrid. Ain’t no way in a million years will Real make back that kind of money through advertising and shirt sales. That’s extremely optimistic. But then again, Real aren’t a club that live in the real world. They prefer fantasy football as a transfer list rather than the fact they desperately need defenders more than Kaka/Ronaldo/Alonso/Villa. The more they ignore that little bit of information, they can have the best front line in the world and the worst defence in top flight football.

  4. The Fourth Official says:

    Thank you for your brilliance, Cristiano. Good luck (except against us!).

  5. LynxKitten says:

    Good riddance, at least now the chances of his mug appearing on my screen are diminished. I shudder to think that Metzelder and Ronaldo have something in common.

  6. Jelly says:

    As a utd fan I will say thanks for the goals and skills but why???????????? I don’t like him right now :-( UTD have been good to him. It’s not a good move. I agree with the ladies who said RM are desperate. It’s quite distasteful watching the way they go about things. I think cristiano will regret this in the long run. All ex-utd players state the club is like a family and going anywhere else is a step down. Good luck to him he is still hot but thats it

  7. Becca says:

    Has he gone now?

  8. livealittle says:

    i think he just effed up his life. and he hasn’t the slightest idea he did.

  9. IshYEAH. says:

    I was at school when my Dad sent me a text about Ronnie moving to RM and he said ‘don’t cry’! I’m still VERY upset his gone. Him and The Ramos… FASHION SHOWDOWN!

  10. Didi says:

    Iker does not approve

  11. Boston Red says:

    Good move for everyone involved. Thank you for your 118 goals and all that other brilliant stuff you did. I will miss your weird humor and your fake Manc accent. That is all.

  12. BS_guapa_grl6 says:

    I agree with Suzie, RM are so desperate it just makes me laugh. I was reading an article that stated that Perez expects to recover the expenses through the selling of jerseys, I truly dont see that happening, RM is just going to be more in DEBT!!! Only good thing I see about this is that I cant wait for next season to start, I am def booking a flight to Barcelona and witness the epic battle of el Clasico, BARCA vs RM and Messi vs C. Ronaldo….wow cant wait….:)

  13. FirstTeamCoach says:

    We got the best out of him, sell a player at his peak for the best return, he can not repeat what he did for United 2007/2008 season.

    I bet a lot of EPL defenders and keepers are celebrating.

    I wish him the best, and thanks for the good times …….again!

  14. HiL says:

    Thank you Cris! he had a huge impact on United and had some incredible moments, I just hope the club uses the money properly. It’ll be interesting to see what happens with him during the season.

  15. Elle says:

    Can’t say I am shocked.  He has had the attitude of being too good for Man Utd for the past 2 years.  Well, Ronnie you aren’t and when your riding the bench at RM you’ll wish differently just like Becks did.  RM is where Man Utd players go to die period.

    Besides, he doesn’t care about Man Utd as a team.  He is too concerned with fame and skanks.  When someone smart comes along and you don’t do what his crew says you get kicked out … believe me I know … I was kicked out by Rogerio, who lived in a very, very, small apartment in Wilmslow.  Nothing like having a fat bald guy try to make out with you and then when you say no, pout in the corner.  Oh to be one of them … not know what it is to work for a living!

  16. Carly says:

    good riddance to this stupid douchebag

  17. 4eva_ManUtd says:

    SO SAD!!
    I knew it was gonna happen… skill shocked!!
    Oh Man!!

    We’ll get over it in time… just as Cantona left, then Beckam… Now maybe Ronaldo… No seven- going again…

    ALL GONE RON!! :(

  18. Raina says:

    i’m going to be sick.  no more ronnie in the premier league!  i hope man u rebounds after this and crushes RM next season whenever they might meet.

  19. Susie says:

    Fantastic.

    Now all the English tabloids can make their money writing make believe falsehoods about someone else in the Premiership.

  20. Gg08 says:

    This should be interesting. Methinks there may be quite a clash between The Ramos and Cristiano. There is only so much metro-ness one football club can handle, even if it is as huge as Real Madrid!

  21. Cherry says:

    Thank goodness he’s going to Spain so I don’t have to see him every week. I hope Guti bitch slaps him.

  22. giggsy143 says:

    wow. all i can say is that ha and paris hilton are the perfect couple. they deserve each other.

  23. strawberrym says:

    Despite being an Arsenal fan (and so from that point of view – excellent news!), I will be sad to see him go. I know RM is his dream yadda yadda, but I just hope it doesn’t ruin his career. With him and Kaka over there though, I will be taking more of an interest in La Liga from now on! Hopefully it means that the title race in England will open up a bit more this year too!

  24. Forever Torres says:

    This is the best news I’ve heard all day. A Cristiano Ronaldo free premiership, yeay! Let’s see how Man U perform without him now…

  25. candygal says:

    As a manchester united fan & a Cristiano Ronaldo fan i will miss him very much. im a bit mad and have to admit i did cry .Lol but i also wish him the best while playing for R.M. I sort of wanted him to go anyway coz i knew if he stayed he wouldnt do his best.

  26. FernieT says:

    Damn. I hate Ronaldo.

  27. gunner-chica says:

    good riddance..lol..now arsenal cn challenge..but now hes playing fr th spanish team i like..hmm..i have mixed feelings on that..

  28. MissEstonia says:

    Good riddance, I’m so tired of him and his primadonna business. I’m a huge fan of United and have always stood behind Ronaldo, no matter what stupid sort of things he did, but I’ve had enough. He’s not our man anymore, good for him. Our team has so many other good players who will finally have a chance to stand on their own, outside of Ronaldo’s shadow. Enjoy being in the pretty boy club, wonder how many cat fights will go down between him/Kaka/Ramos? This will be entertaining!

  29. Sarah Kate says:

    As a Real Madrid fan, I HATE this. As a person, I HATE this. But then again, I’m not a huge fan of Ronaldo anyway. Guh, why couldn’t Barca have taken him?

  30. starrynic23 says:

    Que le vaya bien in Espana…Ciao

  31. Eternal Dreamer says:

    About time?!?! It will really be interesting to see what gossip comes from Real Madrid this year! Fights over hair products maybe?

  32. Rossi´s girl says:

    he went out with herpes hilton? lol he can´t get that low :(

  33. Rossi´s girl says:

    a team with Ronaldo, Ramos, Guti, Fernando Gago yawn Torres will fit perfectly also there LOL

  34. ferzie says:

    Bye darling:( Good luck in Real(that hugely overrated club).Hope it wont ruin your career:)

  35. Berbie's Barbie says:

    Knew this was gonna happen someday.As a fan of United,i can’t wait to see what we’re gonna do with the 80m. As for Ron, thanks for all the skills and shirtlessness in the past six years.But you aint gonna beat the hotness of Saint Iker over there.Adios!

  36. suzie says:

    Thank god it’s finally over, I think everyone was just sick of it by the end. Where are real getting all this money from- I thought they were in debt too, it’s gone mad. They can keep their hands of Xabi though, I do’t care how much debt we have I don’t want him leave.Anyway he was never my type so I can’t say I’ll miss him.

  37. mrscudicini says:

    ew…when he was at United I could avoid him except for the 2-3 times a season we had to play them, now he is going to RUIN my Sunday afternoon ritual of indulging in pure Really Hot Madrid lusting. And I’m sorry, but Sergio is going to TAKE YOU DOWN. No one, NO ONE can out Sergio Sergio!

  38. Dreamgirl says:

    Good luck for the future Cris and thank you for the thrills.

  39. FirstTeamCoach says:

    Thanks for the memories Ronaldo, it was fun while it lasted, but time to move on. United will do just fine withoutyou *waves bye bye*

    Seriously I echo Fourth, I hope the move works out for him, but just not against us !

  40. autumnmaple101 says:

    Sorry to say this but good riddance. He was never really loyal to Man Utd after that business with Real last summer. Should be some interesting drama with him and the Ramos though.

  41. wanniemelon says:

    YESSS!! he’s outta here!! muahahahahahaha

  42. aristeia says:

    I’m flabberghasted. Why I don’t know, lol. I said to Sarah earlier that I was shocked, but I figured United fans saw this coming. She agreed.

    I’m not concerned for United (well, I’m not a fan lol… but neutrally in this case), I’m sure they’ll be fine. Especially w/ that kind of cash to throw around.

    What is Perez smoking? I don’t foresee good things if he keeps this up. I’m not a RM fan, but I want Kaka to do well and if he’s going to be on a sinking ship, I’m not happy about that. You can’t just buy every big name on earth and think that makes a winning team!

    I’m not a fan of Ronaldo, but I can’t help but be grossed out seeing pics of him w/ Paris Hilton last night. Honestly, I don’t know which one I dislike more. I may have to go w/ Paris on this one. At least Ronaldo has talent and contributes to earn his paycheck.

  43. Jo says:

    I suspect that he saw the atrocious kits for next season and opted to flee before he was forced to wear them. Fantastic timing, Cris. Thanks for the goals and the abs in the rain shot.

  44. Nelly says:

    Well this was to be expected. I’m a Man Utd fan, but I’m a bigger Cristiano fan. I lived in Spain, so I’m also a Real Madrid fan, and I have to be honest and say that I’m happy with the move. Its going to be interesting. Can’t wait!

  45. Anna (Frau Manuel Neuer) says:

    horrible horrible horrible horrible news ;(

  46. c9 says:

    No thoughts, just tears. Goodbye.

  47. Pau de Silva (aka Sambu) says:

    Herpes Hilton!!!! lol jajaja that was funny and eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!

  48. Pau de Silva (aka Sambu) says:

    Damn! I dont see the stain!.. I dont know.. I just feel that the world as I used to know it has come to an end.. even when I am a Chelsea fan… also in my nightmares there is a new character: Super Real Madrid!!! :)

  49. carly says:

    It sounds like a good deal for everyone, I’m sure it’s for the best.

  50. TammyV says:

    Ok now I really wished I had gone to Villa…I could have broken this story

  51. Princess A says:

    btw Ronaldo is a complete slut! All it took was : “I’m so hawwt!” and he’s pussy I MEAN putty in her hands… time to raise the bar now Ronny! I just hope ronaldo stays dedicated at real madrid because hardworkers like my baby Iker want success very very badly and we know this as he doesn’t spend his time going clubbing, getting laid and constantly visiting clinics for testicular amputations due to HERPES! DON’T MESS UP KID!!!

  52. Princess A says:

    everyday they give me more and more reasons to stalk Real Madrid first kaka now ronaldo… keep ‘em comin! P.S. I wanna see the catfights in the changing room between the ramos and goldiepants! MADRIDSTAS GONE WILD!!

  53. Pau de Silva (aka Sambu) says:

    Herpes Hilton!!!! lol jajaja that was funny and eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!

  54. Pau de Silva (aka Sambu) says:

    Damn! I dont see the stain!.. I dont know.. I just feel that the world as I used to know it has come to an end.. even when I am a Chelsea fan… also in my nightmares there is a new character: Super Real Madrid!!! :)

  55. carly says:

    It sounds like a good deal for everyone, I’m sure it’s for the best.

  56. TammyV says:

    Ok now I really wished I had gone to Villa…I could have broken this story

  57. Princess A says:

    btw Ronaldo is a complete slut! All it took was : “I’m so hawwt!” and he’s pussy I MEAN putty in her hands… time to raise the bar now Ronny! I just hope ronaldo stays dedicated at real madrid because hardworkers like my baby Iker want success very very badly and we know this as he doesn’t spend his time going clubbing, getting laid and constantly visiting clinics for testicular amputations due to HERPES! DON’T MESS UP KID!!!

  58. Princess A says:

    everyday they give me more and more reasons to stalk Real Madrid first kaka now ronaldo… keep ‘em comin! P.S. I wanna see the catfights in the changing room between the ramos and goldiepants! MADRIDSTAS GONE WILD!!

  59. FootballerChick43 - "Mrs.Ballack" says:

    Does this mean I have to like him now, since I’m a Real Madrid fan? Just kidding. Good luck, Cristiano.