July 13th, 2010

Crouching Ronaldo, Hidden Baby

Cristiano Ronaldo baby

Is that Crissy Ronaldo or some of our staffers’ most memorable sitcom neighbor? From the looks of the multi-million euro estate and pink CR7 hat in Vilamoura, Portugal – it could only be one man. And it’s not the one who greets paparazzi with “hidey ho”. Images via PacificCoastNews.com, ABC.es.

Though he’s reaching for straws by employing his standard Gucci flip flops to restore status quo, all is actually not well in the rented Ronaldo enclave. Yes, he’s finally back home to spend quality time with his new bubba, but the journo jury is still out on which one is exactly his.

How about the gossip mongers let us help clear the wood-stained air so we can all get back to our usual selves, eh?

Print Is Now Officially Dead

First and foremost, how can the Correio da Manhã claim they have the EXCLUSIVE HELICOPTER PHOTOS! of Ronaldo’s kid when the whole damn patio is blurred out?!

Taking into consideration that there’s probably not much to see from this aerial shot anyway, we still say:?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?


Multiple Infant Attendees

Speaking of the published written word being dead, let’s hear from the Google-Translate-don’t-fail-me-now British tabloids.

1. The Sun says this is his son. But it’s not.
2. The Daily Mail says this is his mother and his son. But they’re 0-for-2.
3. And Although we’re 100% sure CR JR is not too far from sunny Spanish skies and gold bracelet games, we don’t believe this is his baby boy either.

For now, and what we guesstimate to be for awhile, the identity of baby Ronaldo is at a stalemate. His sister, Katia, gave birth to a son, Dinis, five months ago so we’re going to (somewhat) logically assume that the baby on her lap is with its rightful owner. What we do know, though, is in the statement released on behalf of Ronaldo, he stated his intent to sue the CDM for their use of a helicopters and explained that the children in the photos were not his.

Lastly, and partly because we’re on a fan girl fact check roll, Ronaldo has two sisters – the other of whom is named Elma – NOT TELMA.

Daily “Fail”: 0-for-3.


The Mother’s Identity

The always impeccably dressed Dolores dos Santos Aveiro was quoted yesterday as saying the baby doesn’t look like his mother “at all”; rather his DNA was modeled after “his father and grandmother”. Modesty is a dime a dozen these days, Kickettes.

Aside from her asinine response, DR9 has given us the first substantial clue in this spermination saga: Crissy’s fam knows the identity of the mother. This admission, by the person who is perhaps closest to Cristiano himself, could have the gusto to lay all those sensational surrogate storylines to rest.


How Nereida Is Stirring This Crock Pot of Uncertainty

Believe it or not, Nereida Gallardo feels she’s still relevant. Believe it or not, we feel differently.

Just like a wicked witch with her poisonous brew, this super cell phone chaser revealed that the mother of Ronaldo’s baby is British, “but lives elsewhere”. Adding that she’s “very beautiful and young” (speaking about the child’s birth mother; not herself), Ronaldo’s former blinged-out bish’s statement directly contradicts what previous reports insinuated about an American woman being involved.

If you have one shred of interview-for-hire common sense, then you’ll side with the rest of reality in calling Gallardo’s bluff.


On A Serious Programming Note

Giving an impromptu talk with reporters, Ronaldo swatted away attempts to pry at his personal life by telling the lurkers to avoid asking the elephant-in-the-room questions. He added, “With you here all day I can not relax and feel uncomfortable. I would appreciate privacy, not only for me, but for my family and all the children, who are uncomfortable with your presence”.

YouTube Preview Image

We’d be remiss if we didn’t admit to feeling a slight pang of sadness for the spectacle this baby’s life has already become. Thus far, we agree with the readers/commentators calling for a staged magazine photo op to draw an end to this scrutiny.


Where does that leave us? Well, we only feel compelled to share our POV when fact checking and truth telling is necessary; however, we never wish to report on topics that induce hangover-like headaches for our readers. On a scale from Sober to Slurring, be sure to let us know if you’re as sick of this fever-pitch “scandal” speculation as we are, Kickettes.

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52 Responses to “Crouching Ronaldo, Hidden Baby”

  1. I found this which I have thought about and simply had to comment a huge thank you for all your effort. Please continue the great work your doing!

  2. I am not gonna lie to you. After few minutes of searching (while having this almost heart attack) I am convinced that it's a mistake, the comment is surely about Iniesta!

  3. Gaby says:

    I'm sorry but Cristiano drew all of this to himself. He already knew how the paparazzi was being crazy about getting pictures of him when he had NO kids, what the hell did he expect when he announces on Twitter (if it was him) to the whole world that he just got a son and then ask people to respect his privacy!?

    I am really a person that is all about privacy and respecting other peoples space if they do tell you so but seriously, you can't expect to go out and announce to the whole world this so called 'private' thing and then expect they will just nod and leave you alone (especially if you are friggin CRISTIANO RONALDO) when you obviously know about the paparazzis. Obviously he should have not said anything if it really was such a private matter.

    However I do feel sorry for him as the paparazzi and the media are being jackasses. Just leave the guy alone, jeez… But I have to admit though I do want to see a picture of the baby :D but that's just about it, I couldn't give a shit about who the mother is or who she isnt.

  4. l says:

    I'm not sure if the following can be called a development but one of the spanish tv stations did a report on that lux mag from a week back (the one where they think they know who the mother is:


    It is probably bs but if you watch the video there are what looks like photo's of the girl in question and him back in october together in madrid as well as those restaurant photo's in nov with what looked like some of his legal team with him. i guess if true you can conclude that the girl was a short term fling at most (considering he was very much single in the us and in that radio interview in madrid done in /sept/oct/nov time) and both knew about this with more than enough time to abort but wasn't either down to religious beliefs and/or the girl wanting money.

    I translated what was said in the video if anyone wants to know what was said (i used google trans but it's understandable) :

    "Sources close to the player ensures that Cristiano Ronaldo's son was not born in the U.S. The son of Portuguese crack is the result of a chance meeting. On October 24, were photographed for the first time in Madrid. Four days later there was another meeting at the same restaurant. The third meeting was photographed on November 13, after two hours in an atmosphere of complicity, came quietly and separated. The hypothesis that the conception was in the United States falls under its own weight during that time period do not travel to U.S. Cristiano Ronaldo pay 12 million euros for the silence of the mother. The family is happy with his new member at this point is under the care of his grandmother and his aunts."

    • l says:

      scrap the set in stoneness of the following:

      ‘but wasn’t either down to religious beliefs and/or the girl wanting money’

      there could be other reasons like his people didn’t want a (‘forced’?) abortion story or later a story of the mother being the sole carer of the child as even if she was a nice girl and would of been a good mother and was never going to say anything, the truth would (and will) come out in the future and the press (spinning the story) into abandonment by the father would be so much more damaging to ones careers than even the current very extreme exclusive guardianship story (as long as the specifics behind that agreement aren’t that questionable – if they prove to be at a later date there could still be bigger consequences for him and his pr yet) but i’m guessing on this

      no one knows much and considering that the chances are that a lot of money was spent to keep the specifics quiet i don’t think the truth will come out any time soon. But the truth have a habit of coming out and i don’t think some areas of the media will accept this and stop researching completely until they have uncovered the full truth (as stories like this don’t come around very often – every 10 yrs best. It is probably a big (career) deal to whoever uncovers the truth – a lot at stake for the press, the gossip version of the world cup perhaps?!) and if the £5-£10 million payoff is true then i’d imagine that there are likely to be some very damaging details being hidden from the public on this – perhaps there is a simple and legit answer and it’s a as good as nothing story but imo his people have worked far too hard to keep ‘nothing’ quiet

  5. Evodia says:

    I'm over this Kickettes! Lets ban Ronaldo and anything relating to Ronaldo off the site. We need a serious Ronaldo Diet!!

  6. SC says:

    Surely she would be DA9? Less catchy than DR9 I’ll admit.

  7. Violets says:

    I’m waiting for hardcore facts–this story has gotten so ridiculously out of proportion.

    As a side note, I feel bad for the kid. It’s clear that he’s not going to be left alone for a long time.

  8. klyn312 says:

    I’m not buying it. jeesh, I actually feel bad for Christiano. This interview showed his family side And I agree, that baby is clearly his nephew… so let not dwell on it anymore, rather let’s adress the important stuff, whose adorable itty bitty teeny weeny little yorkie is that in the pic??

    (or is that just a fleck of dirt and I am due for an optometrist visit??

  9. C16 says:

    DR9!!! LMAO

  10. Jo says:

    I'm at the "Slurring" stage. If there's an official photo shoot, I'll check back for Kickette's take on CR Jr. Otherwise, I'm happy to move on and escape the lengthy soap-boxing on this subject.

  11. Mona says:

    First of all, the title of this posting is BRILLIANT!

    2nd of all, Brangelina started the wave of photos-for-charity-$ wave. I hope after the child has had his vaccinations and he’s old enough to hold his head up, Cron goes in this direction. I suspect that’ll be about 6 months from now; hopefully C Ron himself will ask for and be able to live with limited attention until then. Doubtful.

    • Y says:

      OK, I just read the post and realised this pic was already posted. dammit Kikette, why isn’t there a ‘delete post’ action, lol

  12. Andrea says:

    Why can’t the paparazzi not leave him in peace.
    Cristiano reacted polite. I’m not sure how I would have reacted being harrassed.
    he has the right for privacy like every other person.
    And I fell sorry for him. As he said “It’s sad”.

  13. HermosaChica says:

    Lol at the false baby pictures, wasn’t baby CR born in June? Well then that would be a ridiculously large one month old baby..Tabloids =..bingo?

    I too find it bizarre that the baby mama wants to remain completely anonymous. Since the involvement of Cristiano in such a situation doesn’t surprise me, I expected dozens of former one night stands to pop up in the tabloids claiming that they’re the birth mother.

  14. beri says:

    I’m so over this story….at least he’s back at home spending time with the kid.

  15. elnino says:

    Let the James Bond/random undercover person music play.

  16. liv says:

    His life is begining to exhaust me; how much can one person endure?!

  17. Ella says:

    At this point, I am so tired of all the speculation that I only want to see/hear facts. Kickette, you've done a great job covering this story so far, and this headline is one of the best I've ever seen on this site!

    I am basically only coming here to hear anything on the CR/baby "scandal" b/c everywhere else just prints blatant lies or theories. Like someone else said in their comment, I really miss the old days of Cris partying and cavorting with random skanks before he had this mystery baby. Now everything is different…

  18. Lisa says:

    oh C-ron. I already miss the good old days when you crashed cars and partied with hookers.

  19. Molly says:

    Baby Cristiano is the new Suri Cruise lol.

  20. Missy says:

    Still waiting…patiently… for the well planned PR coup of a photo op!

  21. Anon says:

    The title and "DR9" made me lol!

  22. rubyqueen says:

    i think it's really sad that the media and paps are hounding him and his son.!!:( it's really none of our business who the baby's mother is or how he came into the world and we should respect that.i think in time when the dust finally settles ronnie will release pics of cristiano jnr and he will no doubt be beautiful.:)but i just can't see the press giving up on this one.!!and that is sad..

  23. l says:

    i see no point on commenting on this anymore as i think all thoughts and theories have already been covered on this over the last 10 days (i'll probably end up change my mind tonight but for now i'm going to try and stay quiet) The only things that come to mind is 'no right answer', 'catch 22', and 'anything on this can contradict (something else)' at this point

    Those that like gossip or is still trying to play sherlock holmes on this 'Gracias' magazine uk edition that came out today makes interesting reading (i'm refering to some of the 'quotes' in the article) – no one has hit the the nail on the head but unusual things are still being hit!

  24. LaNovena says:

    well really i dont get him. He has actually called them. he shouldnt have announced it at first (to have a few silent days with the kid) at least till now everyone would have been busy with the WC anyways. And with his nephew around it maybe wouldnt have attacted attention at all.

    And then he tweets that hes back home… Thats CR he wants the attention. But then he shouldnt cry out when it is there or too much or whatever.

    • Ana;) says:

      I kinda agree about the attention to an extent I very much doubt he wanted to be hounded like he is now. I'm no cronaldo fan but I really do feel sorry for him, celebs go through a lot of inteference in their lives because of the media and it's horrible! I think he shouldn't have ever announced it on Twitter he should have got it done through his pr team or something it's a personal issue that needs to be thought about well before announcing to the public. Now he should just give the press the silent treatment go on with his business and not talk at all, that way they have nothing to go by, his family should do the same. Like someone else said I think he should just do a deal with a magazine to take a picture of a baby And I've the money to charity, or just post it on his official site that way people will stop harassing him. He's only being harassed because he's being so secretive and the nosy press want to know why he's trying to hide things. And we all know the press like to get down to the nitty gritty, they're like dogs with bone thy never tire!! Lol

      Wooow I spoke a lot I'm no ms no it all that's just my opinion kickettes! Lol

  25. suzie says:

    I'm feeling really uneasy about how this baby is being 'hunted' by the press. Who the mama is and how it all happened is none of our business, it has nothing to do with his football and we don't have a right to know if Ronnie doesn't want to tell. The baby has a right to privacy too and having a famous person as a parent doesn't change that.

  26. Lisa says:

    Dolores, Nereida, Russian famewhore, mother who gave him up… yep this kid is gonna grow up to respect women the way his daddy does.

  27. Amanda says:

    aaw… I felt bad for him after watching the video, when he says "Of course I'm happy for being a father, but your presence here is making me sad.. you guys are making me sad"… I want to know what's going on exactly but at the same time I really wish they had their privacy.. hahha.. hypocritical, i know…

  28. senora ramos says:

    that poor baby. as much as i would like to see a pic, i am fine with holding out until he is older, or at least less stalked. unfortunately that will be the rest of his life. good for cron to speakout at the paps. all will be revealed in due time anyways. just back off for now.

  29. em k says:

    "Crissy’s fam knows the identity of the mother. There goes all those sensational surrogate storylines."

    Knowing the identity of the mother could point even more towards a surrogate–a surrogate would have been interviewed and picked to carry the baby. However, it is true that if it was born by surrogate, there could have been an anonymous egg donor.

    It really is all very strange, isn't it? Why has someone completely given up custody? Is it because they want to be completely and totally anonymous? If it was a one night stand or an ex, would someone who wanted to be that anonymous sleep with one of the most famous people in the world to begin with?


      • ana says:

        From the start of this drama, it is so clear that is not surrogate mother, at least to anyone who know anything about CR. If you use surrogate, than you have chance to plan when you want your baby, and there is no sence after all drama last summer, partise, RM move, new club, new country, he would that.

        Second, this WC was one of the most important sport events in his life, he wouldn't plan to have baby in the middle of WC and to finish it like he did finish, miserably.

        And last thing, even if he wanted all that he is too young, at age 25, he could wait until 30 and his career to be near end.

        We all know how important football is to him and how ambitious he is, no way he would put himself in this drama.

        It was just interesting for media cause they know nothing, but I am sure he paid very much to keep it that way. So without any facts they stick to that surrogate story, cause it is scandalous enough and in people's minds surrogate=Ricky Martin=gay, so they don't use brain to think about it for 2 min.

        Not all women are same, unfortunatly some of them would use own child for money. And we all know what kind of women CR likes… With his life style, I guess this had to happen him sooner or later, he was even lucky, cause he managed to keep it away from press.

        • Violets says:

          I totally agree with everything you said.

          The cold, basic facts could point towards a surrogate, until you take them and actually relate them to CR as a person. I'm sorry, but no 25 year old guy who's at the top of the world professionally goes through all of the trouble of hiring a surrogate mother and then plans the birth around the hugest tournament of his life. I have friends who are around 25, and when they heard this story, all of them immediately discounted the surrogate story.

          Now, if it does turn out to be a surrogate, well…I think that CRon needs a seriously reality check (actually, maybe he needs that regardless).

          • Catie says:

            I agree, the chances of this being a the result of a surrogate is beyond unlikely. It screams hookup. However, perplexed by the mom not being around, but to me that's not shocking (call me jaded). I can think of a handful or reasons why the lady in question wouldn't want to be involved. Maybe she could not physically care for the baby (insert possible addiction/ailment here), and perhaps was also not interested in milking Ronaldo for all he's got (hey, it happens, some people just want to forget). Maybe she never wanted it in the first place, but carried out the pregnancy according to Ronaldo's wishes, in exchange for her privacy and his role as a caretaker (if he is a religious man – as he is BFF with Kaka and seems to stare at the sky a lot – he would not be down with a possible abortion). Maybe the thought of being known for the rest of eternity as his rand-ho American hook up was too much for her. Or maybe she thought the baby would be better cared for with Ronaldo (going back to not wanting to necessarily milk him for all she's got, assuming she's a nice girl).

            I don't know, either way I don't think it's the result of a surrogate, an alien baby, or a puppet. I also don't actually want to know anything about the mom because I feel like that will make the situation worse. I do think this kid and his progeny need to grace the cover of a magazine before they become the most stalked duo in the world.

        • shay says:

          good point. I did not think about it until you said it but there is no way he would choose to have his child born while he is at the World Cup.

  30. Kai says:

    Yeah give the exclusive to some mag Cris!

  31. Jo says:

    This post title is an EPIC WIN! Thanks for the laugh, Ms. Kickette.

    Spell check: it's "aerial" and has nothing to do with the Little Mermaid. :)

  32. TristaJade says:

    "We’d be remiss if we didn’t admit to feeling a slight pang of sadness for the spectacle this baby’s life has already become."

    Me too, Kickette. The Daily "Fail" just needs to quit while it's ahead and I feel Nereida just needs to butt the hell out. She isn't apart of his life anymore, so she should stop trying to crawl back in.

    And I don't blame CRon one bit from telling the reporters to back off. He has the right to say he doesn't want to talk to them about this. As much as I would love to see adorable pictures of his son, I can respect his privacy enough to say that he deserves rest and time with lil' CR. Let him have his space and he just might relax a bit, do an interview with a magazine that can get its facts straight and everyone will be able to move on to something else.

  33. Louise says:

    He really needs to take some pics with the baby for a (somewhat) reputable mag, give a short interview that says nothing, donate the fee to a charity, and move on.

    • izzy says:

      Second. Really hope that plan is in the works. Its going to get old really fast.

    • For the sake of our inboxes and sanity, we like this option the best. And it's pretty true to his charity form.

    • Bria says:

      I third that notion. Hope his people have something along this line in the works.

    • Steph says:

      Yeah, I agree. This would probably be best, since it would keep the paps at bay and some celebs do these photo ops early, seeing as after the first couple of months, the baby doesn’t really look like that anymore.