December 14th, 2010
David Beckham: Code Red Hair Emergency
There was the ponytail.
And, also, horror.
We realised something last night, Kickettes. We’ve always been under the impression that David Beckham could sport purple mad clown hair with orange highlights and a little novelty tea cup hat and we would still be in hot burning lust. It’s David Beckham!
Everything seemed to go to plan. He sat with his BFF Gary Neville. He wore a scarf and a £2,600 Balmain coat and United beat Arsenal 1-0 to go top of the league. But something went wrong. That something was on top of his head. (Image via Reuters Pictures/Daylife)
Several theories have been floating around Kickette HQ as to why Becks would seek to destroy the hot in such a way:
1. He wants cornrows again; 2. He’s planning for a highly cerebral arthouse movie role and has taken the method too far; 3. He’s single-handedly trying to bring grunge back. 4. This is an impostor and the real Becks is busy getting his nails done somewhere in Manhattan.
We pray to St. Iker that none of these scenarios are true, but we’re prepared for the worst. Please help us to understand, Kickettes. Help us.