December 14th, 2010

David Beckham: Code Red Hair Emergency

There was the ponytail.

The bedhead.

And, also, horror.

We realised something last night, Kickettes. We’ve always been under the impression that David Beckham could sport purple mad clown hair with orange highlights and a little novelty tea cup hat and we would still be in hot burning lust. It’s David Beckham!

Welp, last night Becks made a surprise appearance at Old Trafford to watch Manchester United take on Arsenal in a battle for the top of the English Premier League.

Everything seemed to go to plan. He sat with his BFF Gary Neville. He wore a scarf and a £2,600 Balmain coat and United beat Arsenal 1-0 to go top of the league. But something went wrong. That something was on top of his head. (Image via Reuters Pictures/Daylife)

Several theories have been floating around Kickette HQ as to why Becks would seek to destroy the hot in such a way:

1. He wants cornrows again; 2. He’s planning for a highly cerebral arthouse movie role and has taken the method too far; 3. He’s single-handedly trying to bring grunge back. 4. This is an impostor and the real Becks is busy getting his nails done somewhere in Manhattan.

We pray to St. Iker that none of these scenarios are true, but we’re prepared for the worst. Please help us to understand, Kickettes. Help us.

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43 Responses to “David Beckham: Code Red Hair Emergency”

  1. BarcaLove says:

    Yuck! I really thought Becks could get away with any hairdo.. Guess I was wrong!!

  2. jen says:

    at least he looks like he may have washed his hair recently. that greasy mess he was sporting in australia recently made me question his bathing rituals.

  3. jelly says:

    I still find him friggin gorgeous. Seriously he could wear anything (or nothing) or have the worst hair in existence and all I can do is just sigh at his utter beauty and handsome hottness…

  4. Ikerknowsall says:

    Sergio Ramos must have gotten to him…

  5. ashmenon says:

    Is that really Becks!? I could have sworn it was someone else. That jovial smile! That hairdo! He's more chirpy-girl than his wife.

    I'm going to go with it being a body double. Really, my brain isn't registering the Beckham nasal voice with that laughing face. It'd be like someone ran over a smurf.

    But really, while I'm only 70% okay with the hair (I don't hate it, I actually lean more towards liking it, as do I all of the Beck-dos), how can anyone look at that smiling picture and have critical thoughts? I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.

  6. @ArtemisMS says:

    Oh Pssh, I'd still tap that in a heart beat. He's so hot he makes my skin burn just looking at him. Mmmm, scruffy-haired Becks.

  7. Spanishfever says:


  8. Anon says:

    Oh no! What happened to him! That look terrible! He looked so handsome with his short hair..

  9. C16 says:

    I LOVE IT!!!
    Hell yeah Becks, keep rocking that hair style!

  10. Taskeen says:

    What exactly would you have to tell your hairdresser in order to end up with this particular result?
    Its a foreign experience seeing Beck's fail at pulling something off!

  11. Swanando says:

    Or option five: he's testing how far he can push the envelope before we get ahold of him and chop those locks ourselves.
    I call dibs on a few locks, thanks.

  12. Anjali says:

    People just let the man be..I know its a sight for sore eyes, but its his hair his head let him do whatever he wants.

  13. dal says:

    I guess he's just been watching a bit too much of religious films as Christmas approaches….eg. the Passion of the Christ …

  14. wow says:

    Dios, how is VB dealing with all that hair situ going on there?

  15. Emme says:

    I don't care what he does with his hair. He's still sexy as hell.

  16. Leá says:

    MY EYES… they burn. Where is my sexy Becks?

  17. jellenp says:

    That coat cost how much? I'd assumed he'd picked it up at a '70s nostalgia sale at some thrift store. Shudder.

  18. meh says:

    What is so wrong with cornrows kickette? I honestly don't understand why you (and many others) don't like them…

  19. beauty. says:

    omfg…. ;/

  20. @mezz98 says:

    The hair may be problematic, but I'm liking the facial scruff.

  21. mena says:

    My theory is Becks is pulling a "Jared Leto" and making a conscious effort to go against his hotness.

    He's been in LA for too long. Everyone there is styled & coiffed to perfection. He's got to rebel against it! The only way for Becks to stand out is to go in the other direction… meaning looking not hot.

    Jared Leto does it. Keanu Reeves does it. The late Heath Ledger did it. Brad Pitt does it every now & then. Don't worry everyone, it's just a phase.

  22. CarmenOcio says:

    I thought I could get over it, but I really can't. I'm sat here armed and ready with with a Braun shaver, scissors and hair gel.

  23. D0li says:

    OMG I actually got scared when I saw this.. I mean wow! Maybe the hair brought good luck? There could be some sick vodoo ritual that means having bad hair equals a good game? If you've noticed Cristiano's game is better when he has an awful hair cut… just saying :)

  24. lilygold says:

    He's beginning to lose his hair so he's compensating by trying to grow it long.It'll be Advanced Hair Studio next !! Do us a favour Becks shave it all off ala Zidane

  25. Bella says:

    Mid life crisis (athletes have them younger than us — apologies to professional athlete kickettes). He's at the awkward stage of growing his hair long again. Circa 2003. Maybe its the style that goes with periods of whore attacks. In which case there may be a shaved head come Sping (and a new bubba!!!?).

  26. hereforthenando says:

    The centre-part. The greasy locks. The can't-decide-if-its-brown-or-blonde hair colour.

    Oh, Becks. You must realize that your status as sex symbol means that your hair/body adornment decisions don't just affect you, but they affect us all.

    Who else wants to join me for forgetting-about-this cocktails? Personally, I'm going to need to strongest drink in the world.

  27. Jessi says:

    The neck-beard. The center part. The greasy looking hair. St. Iker … help us.

    I never thought I could equate a picture of Becks with a cold shower. This did it. Victoria, please get this man under control.

  28. Amy says:

    It is clear to me that he is copying Tom Brady.

  29. blake2108 says:

    He's trying for the poor man's Sergio Ramos look., I think

    Its crap regardless.

  30. dontaskmetosmile says:

    Oh holy St. Iker! I used to think that Becks can pull of ANYTHING. This has proven me (and a lot of us, for sure) truly and irreversibly wrong. What is Victoria thinking, letting her man out looking like this? The only excuse I can think of is that VB is at home baking Dora the Explorer cupcakes for the kiddies, because this whole business could not have happened with her around.

  31. SoccerDuckie says:

    At least it matches the coat. :)

  32. BarceLisa says:

    I actually screamed when I saw this on TV, and it wasn't a scream of delight.

  33. LoseThatGirl says:

    WIth that hair don't, beard and retro coat, he'd certainly fit in on the set of a 1970s porn flick! Not that it's necessarily a BAD thing ;)

  34. Emily says:

    I vote option 4. Because then we all get to track down the real Becks.