August 12th, 2009

Dreamland: Footballers in the Night

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Kaka reflects on his narrow escape from our claustrophobic clutches. He looks much more relieved to be free than we would like. Image via AP Photo

Have you ever had a vivid dream about a footy player?

Pshht – of course you have.

We can strike Beckham (x5), Iker (x3) Sergio Ramos (x2) and Fernando Torres (x6) off the list for taking part in the evening adventures of our minds.

The other night, we had a completely unsexy (?) dream that we were stuck in a lift with the entire Real Madrid squad. Our completely ill-advised focus? We were angry that people were stepping on our good shoes. Kaka was at least seven feet tall. And definitely not lost.

We feel like we shared something special with the Brazilian superstar whilst getting elbowed by the unruly Guti. It was bonding via a lack of personal space.

Help?

Whilst we search our dream analysis literature, we want to know what footballers you’ve had drop by your subconscious for a visit in the middle of the night? We will require all the gory details.

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46 Responses to “Dreamland: Footballers in the Night”

  1. Nazzzzz says:

    Haha, love your dreams guys. They’re *hilarious* oh and love this site. Yeah, anyway, I had this dream where I hid out in some locker room and then Fernando Torres came in and I like pounced on him and tried to shave his head. So that I could sell his hair on e-bay (it was apparently quite valuable). But he just hit the scissors out of my hands and offered me some fresh fruit. I woke up after that. Weird.

  2. hotgirl says:

    okay, it`s time to tell you about my dreams. actually I`ve only 2 dreams with football players and it was very long time ago. maybe 4 years ago. my first dream was that my best friend Erin had a party in her house, and CR7 was chatting with me while Gary Neville was all over Erin (my friend).

    The other dream was more romantic. It was about me and KAKA. We were on a very romantic trip in Italy. In a very small town. We were just friends and what we were doing was driving Vespa, eatig pizza, going to the beach and stuff like that. And finaly we decidet to go to a hotel room…. and unfortunetly I woke up :D . But it was fun!

  3. Amyy says:

    My first Comment :)

    I had a dream Torres (and most of the Liverpool squad) was at my school Taking photos with everyone and i was last in the q. We hugged and he wouldn't let go of me :) Then he Invited me & my Best mate to live with him in liverpool because for some reason we got chucked out of out homes! Weird ino but i enjoyed it :)

  4. MissChelsea says:

    I<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> once<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> dreamt<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> CR7<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> was<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> visiting<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> my<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> town<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> and<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> i<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> remember<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> he<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> (striking<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> his<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> famous<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> freekick/penalty<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> pose)<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> seemed<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> very<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> tall<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> and<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> his<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> complexion<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> was<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> similar<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> to<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> the<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> guy<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> from<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> the<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> movie<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> Sin<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> City<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> (yellow<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> bastard)<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> and<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> suddenly<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> there<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> was<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> a<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> storm<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> (a<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> tsunami<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> -<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> scared<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> the<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> hell<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> out<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> of<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> me!)<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> and<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> we<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> all<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> ran<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> towards<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> some<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> cars<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> and<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> drowe<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> away<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> from<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> the<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> water<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> (i<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> live<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> near<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> a<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> harbour).<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> It<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> didn't<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> make<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> any<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> sense<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> at<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> all…<a title="Smilies" href="http://www.blogsmilies.com"><img src="http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d19/xdomains/smilies/confused/1.gif&quot; border="0" alt="Smilies">

  5. FootballerChick43 - says:

    My footballer dreams always start out in matches (which is kind of weird… 50% of the time, the score ends up correctly. Shame I only dream in Chelsea or Fulham matches) and end up really weird, such as one where Florent Malouda and I went streaking down Fulham Broadway or I fell off the top of Stamford Bridge and Jose Bosingwa caught me. And… yeah, I'll stop there.

  6. nicki says:

    I once had a dream I was eating french fries with Higuain, awesome because i love french fries and pipita, but not awesome because we could have been much more naked. I also had a dream I was reading an article about Michael Owen being loaned out to Milan after he signed with ManUtd

  7. Wazza's Freckles says:

    I have dreamt about Wazza and Sir Alex Ferguson but I’m sure you will all be extremely relieved to know that it wasn’t sexual and that I wouldn’t describe it even if it was.

  8. Lolinha says:

    Gosh, this stuff makes an entertaining read. I dreamt about Cristiano before the CL final and back in -98, when Brazil lost I dreamt about the NT for a week. Sad to say Iker hasn’t made an appearance. @ Rusty: I’ve never had anyone question my linguistic abilities which made my dream seem so realistic. People usually do what I want them to do in my dreams (unless if I’m being chased). Mr. Ramos was out of control. LOL

  9. violet-strawberri says:

    I dreamt I was watching m primary school mates playing football, Sergio Ramos came over wrapped his arms around me& kissed me as I'd been crying….It was weird!

  10. dcubetcha says:

    it's funny this should come up because just the other week i had a dream that i was pregnant with cesc fabregas' baby, but the only thing i thought was 'hm, that's strange, i've never even met him'. so i called him up because, in this dream, it made sense for me to alert him of the fact that he was about to have a child! so then he was like 'oh okay. that's cool.' and i guess we became friends? IT WAS WEIRD.

  11. Rusty, aka Frau Clemens Fritz says:

    Clemens Fritz shows up in my dreams an average of three times a week, as I posted in the GBA, but most of the time he’s, for instance, a student in a class I’m also taking.

    Lolinha, so I’m not the only one who thinks she’s speaking Spanish and the person to whom she’s talking disagrees? I was in line at the Espanyol store at the new stadium in the Barcelona suburbs, and the guy behind me was gorgeous so I decided to talk to him. I could have sworn I was speaking Spanish, and he seemed to disagree.

    Disclaimer: I am eating Skittles for breakfast, so am on a sugar high.

  12. Metal Mickey says:

    Jaysus! Kaka looks hottt in that pic! I think I'll dream of him tonight!

  13. aristeia says:

    I forgot about my Pupi dream! Basics: I think it was my birthday & my friends sent him (it’s getting fuzzy now) or I won something, but he came to spend the day w/ me in my hometown (where I went to high school). We went out to lunch, to the park, to a minor league baseball game. He was as sweet and awesome in my dream as I’ve been told he is in real life. I kept worrying that he wasn’t enjoying himself; he kept insisting he was and finally he just hugged me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

    *sigh*

    It’s such a simple dream, but it was so sweet. I really think very highly of him, so it’s one of my favorites.

  14. MissEstonia says:

    @LoveLamps-that's a really sweet dream you had, I wish my dad would go to football matches with me. He's a football fanatic, but we live in different countries so that won't work. But it's still sweet!

  15. Baby Freya (Mrs Arbe says:

    I once dreamt that my real life Dad wasn't my real life Dad and that my real Dad was in fact Paul Scholes….totally unsexy and rather disturbing.

  16. kenita says:

    i had a dirty dream with JT once (and i’m a liverpool supporter), in another dream pep guadiola was my teacher XD and i’ve dreamed with fernando torres twice

  17. Liz (Mrs. Vucinic) says:

    I had a dream where I was shopping for shoes at Nieman Marcus with Zlatan and there were Paparazzi chasing us. Super weird. I can't say he' one of the ballers I really have any interest in dreaming about. The shoes were really cool though.

  18. lisa says:

    I dreamt of Fernando a lot times.

    This was my strangest dream: I got adopted by Fernando and Olalla but it was really funny because I was so much taller than her.

    I dreamt that I was in Ronaldo's Pool, too shay. Isn't it crazy? :D

  19. eatmyboost says:

    No players actually appeared in this dream but this week I dreamt that a policeman jumped out of a bush and arrested me for having written in my diary three years ago that Iker is “the most handsome man in the world”.

  20. Mine says:

    I have the same dream over and over again… i somehow become best friends with fernando torres… i wish *sigh*

  21. Kile says:

    damn, kaka.  looking GOOD!

  22. Trisha says:

    I had a dream that I was introduced to Iker Casillas and when we looked at each other we were really attracted to one another but then he started to just ignore me. So I set out to make him jealous by wooing David Villa. Later at a party, Iker could not stand it anymore, he was so jealous that he finally came up to me and professed his love for me and stole me away from David Villa whispering into my ear that he wanted to make love to me. The rest of the dream is too steamy to tell….
    Shay, i really laughed at your comment about the skanks lounging by the pool. That was cool. Really funny!!!

  23. uneditedmara says:

    I had a dream a while back where Liverpool came to my city to play and, for some reason, I got invited to go to their celebratory party afterwards. Carra was really chatting me up when all of a sudden, Riise took my hand and spun me around to dance. I remember being very conscious in my dream because I didn’t want Stevie seeing me talking to any other player and him thinking I love him any less.

    But nowadays, the moment I start dreaming about delectable footie players (thanks to Kickette!), Roger Federer manages to creep in there and profess his love for me. Roger, I like you. But I love Steven, okay?

  24. shay says:

    I had a dream I was at Cristiano’s house and dove into his swimming pool. It was like 10 feet from the edge to the water and I was falling forever. I knew it was a dream though because there were no skanks lounging by the pool. Weird.

  25. Boston Red says:

    I have had many and they've all been weird. The one I remember most vividly involved Aiden McGeady (I know…) and I was in the Miss Universe pageant and wearing a green dress and we were having… relations… in a hotel room. I still can't really look at Aiden McGeady the same way.

  26. Miss Alonso says:

    Since Xabi Alonso’s exit to Real Madrid i have had several vivid dreams were he agrees to stay on merseyside. Amazing dream untill i wake up and realise he has gone <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/ohoh.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="oh oh" style="border:0;" />

  27. LisaDBe says:

    I had a dream that I called David Ginola for hair tips and we got chatting on the phone and he invited me out for dinner! This was only about 4weeks ago. retro football dream!! xx

  28. Kate says:

    oh, I had many dreams with Spanish footballers but I won't tell you which ones… ok, one clue one of them plays for Real Madrid :P

  29. Lolinha says:

    OMG! I had a totally freaky dream about Sergio couple of nights ago… I don't usually remember my dreams, but this was vivid. I was speaking Spanish quite fluently and thought he was a little simple for not understanding a word of it. We were in a weird Asian-looking hotel room with this huge bed in it (this isn't going to get dirty). All I could make out in the dark were his abs, and then out of nowhere he tackled me on the bed and I kept frantically looking if there were other Madrid players in the bed with us (now I know you had dreamnapped them into that elevator) ;) . Then I woke up in the dream and he was gone. I went out to the pool area which was on top of a cliff, built on this rickety wooden pier. There were a lot of African American women who wanted to take me shopping. I kept asking: "¿Dónde está Sergo? " And looking at this enormous infinity pool. Every time I looked at the pool I could see this short dark mullet moving on the surface. Then I woke up. Weird…

  30. MissEstonia says:

    Eee this photo was taken in my country! =] Apparently that bus driver side-scraped an "attractive office-casual dressed young lady"'s BMW in the process of delivering the goods to the hotel from the airport. Anyway, yeah. I got all excited. Eee! :D I wish I was in Estonia right now, seeing this match. Even though I just saw him Sunday. Anyway, last night I had a Guti-dream, where he was in my office at work and carrying a computer tower. I asked him if he wanted help carrying it,he said no, and kept going. I asked if I could have an autograph and he said "I guess". After which I failed to find a Sharpie pen and he had left. I was left most unhappy, standing in my office with my "Guti Haz" Real Madrid top and a dried up dry-erase pen. Fail!

  31. hoppipolla says:

    I have dreams of Riccardo Montolivo (I was his wag getting photographed around town) and Massimo Gobbi (it was a very vivid sex dream). Both of Fiorentina…

  32. Fer_Lahm says:

    Hay papi.

  33. HiL says:

    I had one with my fav Michael Carrick, he was walking down the street and I came up and talked to him like I was his best friend (My actual dreamLOL )

  34. chelseagal_joeycoles says:

    theres a couple…i once had a dream i was shopping with my mum, she was standing nattering to someone, as dear mothers do, when i saw a friend from work, so went over to talk to them, i turned round a few minutes later to find my mum talking to frank lampard and jamie redknapp, and she invited them to her house for the family barbecue… haha, i also dreamt that joe cole was in sainsburys like two checkouts down (buying ready meals and vegetables- wtf?) then this old woman started having a go at me for nudging her cat food (again wtf) and mr hero cole stepped in and told her to kindly leave me alone. not the most mighty of heroics, and he hardly swept me off my feet but it will do i suppose!

  35. Dani.Mrs Jos? Manuel says:

    LOL i once had a dream which included Ryan Babel =| and Dirk Kuyt fighting over me but in the end it turned out that me and Ryan were in some way related

  36. LoveLamps says:

    Many a night my subconscious has drifted to Frank, but I'll not share those details here. The best dream I've had about football was not romantic at all, but involved my Dad (who passed away about 15 years ago) taking me to a game at the Bridge. We saw Frank and JT stopped on the side of the road having car trouble and we gave them a ride to the game. Silly I know (like we would DRIVE to The Bridge), but my Dad and I chatted with them on the way about the game and the season and they invited us to stay after the game and meet the entire team. Of course that was exciting but what was most exciting to me was that my Dad was there and he liked football. Being American and growing up in a rural area, I was not exposed to football much and did not really start to appreciate it until many years after my Dad passed away. To have him there with me sharing my love of the game (he taught me everything I know about every other sport) was truly amazing. I am so glad now that my mother is FINALLY interested in football and shocked that it took Raul, Iker and Ronaldo to get her there.

  37. Erin says:

    Oh<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> yes,<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> I<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> sure<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> have!<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> Stevie,<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> Agger,<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> Alonso,<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> Torres,<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> Kewell,<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> Riise, Carra, <SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> and<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN><SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> Hyypia<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> have<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> all<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> made<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> some<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN><SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> outstanding<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> cameos<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> in<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> my<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> dreams.<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN><SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> There<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> are<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> probably<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> others<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> as<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> well,<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN><SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> but<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> those<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> I<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> remember<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> specifically.<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> Most<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> recently,<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> whilst<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> bathed<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> in<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN><SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> post-coital<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> bliss,<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> Xabi<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> promised<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> me<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> that<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> he<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> would<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> stay<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> at<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> Liverpool.<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN><SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> Lying<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> bastard.<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> <IMG title="too funny" height="16" alt="too funny" src="http://static0.fluxstatic.com/-/Clients/Common/Img/RTE/smiley/alpha/too_funny.gif&quot; width="16">

  38. carly says:

    I've dreamt about too many to count. My subconscious is very football-friendly.

  39. Mark-Sexyback-Hudson says:

    I once had a dream where John Terry was on my bus..and I grabbed his phone to get Frank Lampards phone number (which is weird cos I’m not even a fan of Lamps!) and JT chased me down the stairs and off the bus and rugby tackled me….weird lol

  40. mrscudicini says:

    OMG, I had the craziest dream just the other night when I was trying to hit on Iker, speaking the worst Spanish on the planet, and he was laughing at me, and somehow Cristiano Ronaldo showed up and swept me off my feet. He was so charming…I woke up utterly horrified at my subconsious!

  41. truly_thata says:

    I’ve question….there’s more than 25 player in Madrid squad, and how to put them in one lift? :P My dream only for Mr. Casillas Fernandez

  42. aristeia says:

    I have some really bizarre, vidid dreams. Not all about ballers, but I’ve totally had plenty w/ them. And quite a few that were, uh, adult in nature.

    Some random highlights from dreams w/ ballers: Standing on a porch w/ a guy I don’t know discussing Stevie’s sperm count; walking through an old Italian town w/ Sheva and stopping to fix a car; running into Xabi in the street and explaining to him why I think he shouldn’t go depressed.

    There’s been so many more, but I can’t think of them now. Footie’s on my mind so much it makes sense that I’d be dreaming about ballers.

  43. Becca says:

    FRANK FRANK FRANK!

  44. Anna (Frau Manuel Neuer) says:

    hmm manuel neuer, joe cole, petr cech, john terry, frank lampard, michael ballack, riccy carvalho, andriy shevchenko..

    they’re all very clean and involve me meeting them or taking a pic. oh, and once ballack invited me for his bday party o_O

  45. Sarah says:

    I had a dream that Robbie Keane was a machete-wielding mass murderer. I also dreamed that Steven Gerrard worked in a Starbucks in London that I went to.

    I’ve dreamed about others too, but those were the most memorable.