May 3rd, 2011

Dressed At Gunpoint: Andrey Arshavin & John Carew

ASquared left Mayfair’s Colony Club Sunday night following his team’s win over Manchester United. He’s getting dangerously close to Guti’s closet.

We usually make an effort to be understanding of football players’ fashion choices, based on their lack of schooling and comprehension of social cues. Dressed At Gunpoint was a category conceived to gently prod the calamitously clothed to correct their wild ways, if you didn’t know.

Sadly, we are unable to extend this courtesy to Andrey Arshavin and his shirt. Taking into account how the Arsenal footballer was technically trained (and subsequently produced his own line of women’s clothing), his eye for the sartorial should be impeccable. Why, then, was he compelled to ply his dressmaking skills on a garment made with the same pattern and fabric used to upholster his butler’s on-site caravan?

We should be told.

If we were bleach, we wouldn’t want our chemical compounds to be tainted by JC’s full body denim disaster. Spotted outside London’s Whiskey Mist, 1st May 2011.

Remember that one friend of yours whose Dad always tried way too hard to be ‘hip’ and ‘with it’, even though he looked as uncomfortably dressed as Steve Urkel in suspenders and awkwardly spelled the acronym “LOL” out loud in a sentence?

Well friends, guess what? That’s John Carew.

Papped fleeing the scene of his fashion crime, a Fendi murse is the Stoke City player’s best attempt at remaining relevant. And failing miserably.

Sweets, do you need the number for the Denim Disaster Doctors hotline? They can fix your double dipping into denim ad nauseum habits in less than 10. They also make house calls, which in your case could be useful.

Related Posts with Thumbnails

10 Responses to “Dressed At Gunpoint: Andrey Arshavin & John Carew”

  1. mochara says:

    You'd think they could afford some decent clothes with the money they've got, I mean really!

  2. GlamGooner says:

    Gunpoint? Looks more like cannon point…Shava's is kinda dorky ,but Carew's is just plain scarey!

  3. Eleanor says:

    I can't be mad at either of these men.

  4. [...] Cardiff handed Norwich EPL promotion [200%] You have money. Why would you dress like this? [Kickette] A quick, and hopefully sustained and healthy, return for Eric Abidal [Dirty [...]

  5. [...] Andrei Arshavin wearing a very Andrei Arshavin shirt. [Kickette] [...]

  6. [...] Andrei Arshavin wearing a very Andrei Arshavin shirt. [Kickette] [...]

  7. xbabyshakesx says:

    LOL Shava! so much for being a fashion major in college! ^^

  8. Gladys says:

    There's something "Matt Damon's stranger, shorter, younger, Russian brother" about Arshavin. They need to do a buddy movie together.

  9. JA7 says:

    Arshavin noo..just no.
    However what the heck are u using? ur 30, and u look sooo young!

  10. DrStrangelove says:

    Just one thing springs to mind from that Arshavin shirt: GROOVY BABY!!!

    Actually, it looks a lot like the sort of material that my nanna used to make her kitchen curtains from back in the day. We made lots of references to 'flower power' and she eventually took them down. True story.