May 3rd, 2011
Dressed At Gunpoint: Andrey Arshavin & John Carew
ASquared left Mayfair’s Colony Club Sunday night following his team’s win over Manchester United. He’s getting dangerously close to Guti’s closet.
We usually make an effort to be understanding of football players’ fashion choices, based on their lack of schooling and comprehension of social cues. Dressed At Gunpoint was a category conceived to gently prod the calamitously clothed to correct their wild ways, if you didn’t know.
Sadly, we are unable to extend this courtesy to Andrey Arshavin and his shirt. Taking into account how the Arsenal footballer was technically trained (and subsequently produced his own line of women’s clothing), his eye for the sartorial should be impeccable. Why, then, was he compelled to ply his dressmaking skills on a garment made with the same pattern and fabric used to upholster his butler’s on-site caravan?
We should be told.
If we were bleach, we wouldn’t want our chemical compounds to be tainted by JC’s full body denim disaster. Spotted outside London’s Whiskey Mist, 1st May 2011.
Remember that one friend of yours whose Dad always tried way too hard to be ‘hip’ and ‘with it’, even though he looked as uncomfortably dressed as Steve Urkel in suspenders and awkwardly spelled the acronym “LOL” out loud in a sentence?
Well friends, guess what? That’s John Carew.
Papped fleeing the scene of his fashion crime, a Fendi murse is the Stoke City player’s best attempt at remaining relevant. And failing miserably.
Sweets, do you need the number for the Denim Disaster Doctors hotline? They can fix your double dipping into denim ad nauseum habits in less than 10. They also make house calls, which in your case could be useful.