October 5th, 2010

Dressed At Gunpoint: Mesut Ozil For Focus Magazine

Mesut Ozil. Licenced to ill. (via ONTD)

Our occasional series disseminating the sartorial decisions of some our favourite players has delighted and depressed us in equal measure. We thought we were providing a service, you see. That it was within our remit to bring you evidence of footballers’ abilities to decipher the complex world of fashion and help out the offending player at the same time, supplying him with a possible excuse as to how he managed to leave the house in such a state.

We were comfortable in the knowledge that no fashion crime could be so heinous that it wouldn’t be comfortably dealt with via the application of our ‘Dressed At Gunpoint’ stamp. We were wrong.

Yes, in an unprecedented event, the Kickette office was at a loss this morning when confronted with these photos (above & left). Less gunpoint, total nuclear capacity of Western civilisation in the world today directed at Mesut’s front door, we think.

We have a migraine. We’re going to lie down.

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92 Responses to “Dressed At Gunpoint: Mesut Ozil For Focus Magazine”

  1. arinaaa says:

    love ozil..but its still look weird !!

  2. amber says:

    it's gay that outfit!!

  3. Kris says:

    He looks like Count Von Count from Sesame Street… and Big Bird exploded on him

    "One friend from Sesame Street, plus one friend from Sesame Street, equals two friends from Sesame Street! TWO! TWO friends from Sesame Street!! Ah ha ha ha ha!"

  4. Kokonut27 says:

    LOLZ! LOLZ! LOLZ!

  5. Rainstar says:

    he reminds me of Michale Jackson, 80's version lol

  6. Rusty (Mrs Fritz) says:

    He looks like a fireman who carries stuff in his sweater.

  7. nadia says:

    It's adorkable!

  8. Dutchess says:

    oh! well the last time I checked they SPLIT. Like seriously, It's all over Dutch mags at least…C'mon!

  9. Dreamer says:

    Good gracious, who on earth put this outfit together??!!! It looks SO WRONG!

  10. who the hell did this to him?? oh poor ozil.. dressed at gun point!! very mean ='((

  11. SoccerDuckie says:

    Wow…. So ok, I see where the stylist was going with this, but have mercy on the dude!!! I mean, hello, look at Oz's face already. Some stylists can be such tossers…. :)

  12. Nora says:

    Esthetically, the photograph is pleasing. I don't mind looking at it. His clothing however…. its like driving down frat row.

  13. jackie says:

    Well in this pic from the same mag: http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_l9…

    him and the clothes look hot

  14. ninyac says:

    LMAO his "I am so bored and this is stupid" look at the first picture!

    So cute! Nothing will make me unlove him. Even that green socks.

  15. @orionstorm says:

    whoa! his normal style suits me just fine…so what the heck did they do to him?! WTF..

  16. D0li says:

    I think Pastasauce did this! FIrst she attacked Cristiano, now she's dressing Ozil.. completely damaging Real Madrid.

    Maybe it's a team effort: everyone's complaining about Sergio's braids and green pants, and CR's entire wardrome.. so they had to do something to poor Ozil.

  17. Alone Gourcuff says:

    People he's more to The Chocolate Factory, Mr. Wonka very colorful! but still he's cute!

  18. Zinny says:

    The poor kid, he needs to realize that only Sergio can get away with dressing like that.

  19. Kristina says:

    He looks like a modern Dick Tracy. And that's not a compliment.

  20. C16 says:

    It's not that bad… until you scroll down to his legs.

  21. Taskeen says:

    lol shame, atleast it wasn't his fault though. The stylist obviously needs some severe punishment, how dare s/he even deign to be in the same airspace as lovely little Mesut whilst harbouring such atrocities (the shoes and socks especially!)

  22. Rachael says:

    HAHAHA the worst thing is the coat. If it was a different color the whole picture would look a lot better. His hair looks good, though.

  23. canederli says:

    I think he's totally adorable normally but I noticed the airbrushing right off the bat. Not good.

  24. Gabs says:

    Wow! I always thought he had something but now, regardless of the outfit, I can see how gorgeous he is!!!

  25. Pique_Xavi says:

    I had a little crush on the kid during the entire WC and a little there after. Find him interesting but he kind is dress for Willy Wonka the football version… where can I buy the chocolate in hopes on obtaining the golden ticket? Maybe I can have a visit to see who else lives at the wonka football factory :)

    • Leya_S says:

      that sounds kind of sweet actually!
      To raise revenues, clubs should have a "Buy club merch and you might win a golden ticket to spend the day with [insert footballer name here]" kind of thing.

      I would buy the entire Real Madrid catalog and even WEAR IT to a BARCELONA game (although it would break my heart A LOT to do that to my Barca boys) just to spend the day with Sergio Ramos…

      • Pique_Xavi says:

        Well it does sound like a great idea. As long as you get to be alone with the player of your choosing w/out paps or bodyguards. This can be possible if the players really wanted to. In Mexico's league they tried it with this really hot 20 yrs old player and a girl won and they went to a dinner just the two of them. The next day he told the organizers how much fun he had because the girl wasn't just a fan of the man but of the game which he really loved. I'm not sure how it all started because it was mentions during a game but sounded awesome. I so wish this was possible because I would buy as much brownies, raffle tickets, write paragraphs of 500 words or less, or whatever the contest was to spend a day with Xavi or Pique….

  26. sheila says:

    Bozil the Clown

  27. sheila says:

    lol

  28. sheila says:

    my eyes! my eyes!! aahhhhhhhh! it's all so wrong!!!

  29. MadridistaJenn says:

    I don't mean to be rude because I like Mesut and he played well on Sunday, but….HAHAhahahahaha! He looks like he's inside of a banana peel!

  30. Heenaumpookah says:

    OMG someone call the fashion police on me cause I actually dig this look. Very……. unique (for lack of a better word) and it would probably have a place on The Sartorialist. Maybe. I like it nevertheless.

  31. Eebza says:

    although i must say…. although sergio has definitely been at work,
    it must be mourinho's influence too…. i mean the whole background looks VERY hogwarts… no?

  32. Eebza says:

    So who else was about to type something about all this being the influence of either Ramos or C-ron, only to find that someone already has?
    Glad to know we're all on the same wavelength here.
    And mesut…. those rags aren't staying on for much longer, baby…

  33. missbubbles says:

    dear god….he looks like count Dracula on vacations. What is it with RM and clothes? is Xabi the only guy in there who can dress properly? he should give instructions and pay them heavily

  34. Missy Manchester says:

    1930s Marvel Comic Strip
    + German fisherman
    + Zakumi the 2010 World Cup Mascot
    =
    Mesut Ozil…Millennial fashionista

  35. loveu2much says:

    oh the damages photoshop can do he looks naturally adorkable

  36. Lotte (Zlatanista) says:

    Alright i do not know what happened to my first, in my mind hilarious, comment but i kinda like this. It´s so over the top, and weird. And he looks a bit angry/embarrassed, like a kid that mummy has dressed up to go to a family dinner. And he hates it,

    And why the airbrushing!! The guy is cute the way he is, leave him alone.

    • Bri says:

      I wasn't thrilled with the airbrushing either. It's painfully obvious.

    • Emme says:

      Everything about Real Madrid is pretty over the top! Mesut is new to Real Madrid, so it's totally natural that this shoot is a little awkward. He'll get the hang of it eventually. He has to. :) Here's to many more ridiculously fashioned photo shoots!

  37. Niina says:

    What? I think it's hot.

    Seriously.

  38. canederli says:

    How did I miss the fact that he dumped Anna-Maria?! When did that happen?

  39. blitzenTO says:

    I barely notice the clothes, to be honest, because I can't take my eyes off whatever they have done to his face. WHY IS IT SO SHINY?!? And smooth! He looks like an android. I'm frightened!

  40. Lotte (Zlatanista) says:

    It´s so weird it´s kind of fun! Take off the jacket and he would look like a mischievous kid :) I like the green socks with the yellow shoes. I wonder what goes on in the RM dressingroom. Cristiano: "Hey Mesut, chicks love it when you roll your jeans up right under your knee, i swear!! Ramos: "You can borrow my yellow jacket, but you better bring it back! I have a hot date on friday."

    Sweet Jesus Navas, where will this end??!

  41. fieryheart says:

    He doesn't look that bad.
    If only they didn't roll the jeans, he might have looked much better.

  42. @mezz98 says:

    Looks like someone wants to challenge Fernando & Xabi for Best Bitchface title.

    Re: the outfit – I dunno, I think he's kind of adorable in it.

  43. Caitlin says:

    I mean – mint green/bordering on teal (socks), mustard (coat and shoes) and purple aren't really colours that complement each other…at ANY time!

  44. DeeRoma says:

    The first thing that came to mind was the Ziplock slogan…."Yellow and blue make green…it's sealed". After shaking my head at that bit of randomness, I have to say I could style this man better. The jeans work. Everything else is a tragic clash of craposity. I'd be giving my best bish-face too.

  45. DutchGooner89 says:

    Ohh hell naw, what the duece is happing here, didnt the alarm bells ring when they gave him yellow shoes with green long socks! i mean seriously the stylist needs to be handed their P45 ASAP!

    Love the 'bitch ama cut you up if you even think about laughing' look

  46. Ash says:

    I take it the facial expression is his response to the stylist's "this is fashion" rant. Poor dude.

  47. Emme says:

    Oh, so it looks like my predictions of Cristiano picking clothes out for him came to fruition. This ensemble has Cristiano written all over it! The photograph is actually pretty great – i love the background

  48. Jules says:

    That is the single most disturbing outfit I have ever seen….

  49. mamaly says:

    Mesit looks like he is having a magraine to.
    it is is criminal to dress-up a babe like ozil this way

    • Rusty (Mrs Fritz) says:

      I'm not sure whether you mean margarine or migraine here, and either fits.

  50. Caitlin says:

    OMG! No, just NO!

  51. gin_in_teacups says:

    This is awesome. Awesome in a cracked out kind of way, but awesome nevertheless. I mean, that jacket would not be out of place on one of the Golden Girls and those jeans are rolled up in a such a way that I suspect he may be headed out flyfishing when he's finished here, and yet he still looks badass.

  52. cindy says:

    not the best outfit, but i really don't think it's that bad…

  53. ledots says:

    what, is he gonna move to brazil?! yellow and wee bit green isn't exactly the color of real madrid.. or even german -__-""

  54. Tatum says:

    Don't they have mirrors in Madrid?

    • JulieFromParis says:

      Hey we do have mirrors!! Cant u see what's going on here?? Our boys showing the whole world they can afford to challenge good taste like no others because they all look SO FINE!! Green pants but still "oh.my.god",
      greasy waxed-hair but still "yummy…" , white sneakers and manbags but still "heartbreaker", very questionable yellow outfit but still "I want to hug you and never let go", that's our blancos!!! I love you guys :)

    • MadridistaJenn says:

      There are mirrors in Madrid, but he hasn't learned the Spanish word for it yet. Poor Mesut….

      • BarceLisa says:

        lol this! yes there are mirrors in Madrid but theyre all in Cristiano's bedroom.

      • Pique_Xavi says:

        LOL Jenn that was soooo funny. I guess it wasn't the essential word to learn.

        • Sil says:

          I’ve gotta say: He’s not spanish, he’s not Xavi, he has creepy eyes, and the whole stuff is really scaring me!

    • @DebStimson says:

      lol…you ladies are brilliant!

  55. Phie says:

    That's some fierce scowling there Mesut, FIERCE.

  56. BarceLisa says:

    Sergio, what have you done to this gorgeous man???

    • Haha! I love how you immediately blame the Ramos :D

      • Emme says:

        She is totally right! This has Sergio and/or Cristiano written all over it! The Ramos is vice-captain of Real Madrid. He has a lot of influence

      • Eebza says:

        YES! exactly hahahahaha
        but im sorry, i dig The Ramos, but this really does have him written all over it.

    • Leá says:

      Hey, Sergio has marginally better taste than this. He'd have dressed him in yellow or green pants. I mean blue jeans? Really? It's just so overdone.

    • Lotte (Zlatanista) says:

      Poor guy! They are using the insecurity of the new guy. Like: "You know what would look good with those yellow shoes? Green socks!! And if you roll your jeans right up below your knees they will show even more! You will get laid more times than Christiano!!"

      But again, since this is RM, the home of the Ramos and CR, maybe the fashion advice was serious.

    • Pique_Xavi says:

      LOL good one. But maybe the Ramos was like "hey guy, if you really want to know if the ladies really dig ya is to wear some not so usual outfit and see how they react"… "cuz they sure looooove the Ramos, finger and all"

    • elylovesfootball says:

      Lol i thought the same thing when i saw that terrible outfit..
      well exactly mine was "why they leave the Ramos alone going around and giving some terrible advices about look?" i mean looks like that work only on the ramos lol