August 4th, 2010

Drumroll, Please: Our New ‘Best Looking MLS Team’ Award Goes To…

Images: Mike Stobe/Getty Images North America.

…The New York Redbulls! Ta-da!

Sure, we’re notoriously fickle, but with the addition of Rafa Marquez to the roster yesterday, we think New York’s least-known sports team saw its sizzle quotient double overnight.

Exceeding the organization’s 2010 goal of expanding their facial and body aesthetics categories by 25%, Rafa Marquez brings the pose power to join up with existing moderate-to-above average rating of Thierry Henry and Juan Pablo Angel.

Keep it up, boys, and just maybe some Kickettes will visit you in Harrison, NJ and send us proof that they rode public transport to get there.

D.C. United, we eagerly await your comeback to this raised totty standard.

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36 Responses to “Drumroll, Please: Our New ‘Best Looking MLS Team’ Award Goes To…”

  1. Cathy says:

    I had my picture taken with Juan Pablo Angel…..hmmmmmm, he didn't just put his arm behind my back, he held it….and did he ever smell good. Red Bulls, thanks for adding Henry and Rafa!! Gotta say, JPA is still #1.

    • Johanna says:

      Wow, that's awesome! I would have been nervous to be around him. He's so gorgeous and seems like a humble person too.

  2. Ess-Jay says:

    Juan Pablo Angel.


  3. Liz says:

    hah, that’s funny because before they went on their sexy people signing spree, they were in the running for ugliest mls team.

    dc united needs to get back on their game, we will not settle for second best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. SoccerDuckie says:

    Oh my…. Back from cyber hols, and I see this fine face; who is he undressing with those nummy2x eyes!!! I wasn't there that week! :P

  5. I don’t know what it is with the New York Bulls but I want to make it clear that I DO NOT like what they are doing, taking our players one by one. First Henry, now the oh so sexy-eyed Marquez?! His look just melts me away. So who’s next Red Bulls, Xavi, Puyol? You wouldn’t dare…

    • LoveFootballLoveFootballPlayers says:

      Girl, maybe after the next WC when they get older and if they think Barca won’t have them in the main team. Let’s hope not! I’m not a Barca fan (not yet anyway) but I wished Rafa would have retired there :(

  6. Sahar says:

    I don’t like mls guys they have no appeal for me. Thierry and beckham are the only hot guys.

  7. Pau de Silva says:

    Two mexicans on Kickette… I could die now with a smile on my face! Best of lucks, Rafa :D

  8. sarrible says:

    Don’t be ridiculous. Our least-known sports team is the women’s pro basketball franchise, the New York Liberty.

  9. Six says:

    Finally a good reason to sit through a Metrostars, err Red Bulls soccer game.

  10. gillyrosh says:

    *fans self* Does this mean I have to become a Red Bulls fan?

  11. Sam J. says:

    being american, i personally think that none of the MLS players are good- looking. real madrid was playing in san francisco (close to where i live), and cristiano ronaldo is waaaaaaaaaaaayy better looking in person!

  12. lulu says:

    Hmm.. I don’t know. Freddie Ljunberg is now playing for Chicago Fire.
    I see him playing with a fireman’s kit…
    It’s like a 2-in-1 fantasy come true.

  13. gin_in_teacups says:

    Naturally, this would happen the week I leave New York. Oh well. More excuses to go back and visit.

  14. senora ramos says:

    rafa marquez?! no thank you!!!

    i'll keep the flame for dc united!!!

  15. Johanna says:

    I only like Juan Pablo Angel.

  16. Alejandra says:

    Yes!! Rafa Márquez raises the handsomeness-quotient of any team.

  17. LoveFootballLoveFoot says:

    Oh Rafita… why go to the MLS??? And you ladies might not know this, but aside from his good looks Rafa has a great sense of humour and is very polite. But seriously, the fact that a man isn't afraid not get naked shouldn't make them eligible for "greatness". Most men don't have a problem with that. The thing is, do they look good when doing it?

    I just hope that now that he's in the MLS he doesn't get hurt by some jealous player. Not sure if you noticed but he always gets hit on his bad leg. This happened to a goalie in the MLS not too long ago by a player who didn't like losing. Of course I'm not saying that this only happens here, just that it would seem natural that he will be getting more play time unlike in Barca were it was tough getting time to play when you have so much talent on the field and on the bench. Good luck Rafa!!!

  18. sounderslove says:


  19. simone says:

    Why is landon Donovan hot? I really can't see it.

    • Whitney says:

      I agree, but…money does wonders for some women!

    • Lu says:

      Awww I think Landon is gorgeous. I love his skin and his lips. He is super nice too and that makes him extra gorgeous.

  20. tammyv says:


  21. Sylvia says:

    Sorry ladies… but 'Best Looking MLS Team' will always be LA Galaxy in my eyes. Come on! The obvious ones: Becks, Donovan, and Saunders. But lets not forget Alan Gordon, Donovan Ricketts and my personal favorite… BRYAN JORDAN! Yummmmm!

    • Lu says:

      Bryan Jordan wins it for the Galaxy with his looks alone. I think he is just so super sexy. Yummmmm indeed!! But yea, I love Donovan Ricketts to. He is a very sexy person and his jamaican accent gets me every time. I cant leave out Edson Buddle. He is just beautiful.

      • Liz says:

        OMG I AGREE BRYAN JORDAN IS SO HOT!!! i know someone from school that’s his neighbor.

  22. C16 says:

    Oh Rafa!!!! My Captain, noooooo!!!

  23. Janiekakes says:

    I love Thierry's sense of humor – though my mother thinks he is Satan incarnate for what he did to Ireland. Maybe it is just me, but I'm not fond of the Red Bulls jersey. Way too much going on.

  24. smurfette says:

    Yes, yes, yes, more Thierry Henry. Don't know who rated him average. That man is just wonderful… with some edges to him

  25. Louise says:

    You know, DC United already lost their coach today (and appointed the nummy Ben Olsen). Did you have to deal them another blow? So cruel.

    I'm off to offer them my shoulder to cry on.

    • Sher says:

      My thoughts exactly! They're having a rough season as it is; why must you take this from them too? Poor babies.