June 12th, 2009

Embargo: Cristiano and Bigfoot

imageSorry, Kickettes. If you’ve come to read about Cristiano Ronaldo hooking up with Paris “My feet are canoes” Hilton, it’s not going to happen. We will not accept her in the WAG-club.

We can’t do it. We. Simply. Will Not. Do. It. There’s more chance of us calling Selfridges and telling them they’re ugly and their mother dresses them funny.

Of course, for those who wish to indulge, here are some relevant links:

Photos of the said encounter in the club;

Video of the “morning after” walk of shame and possible herpes infection; and

Reasons why Real Madrid should be worried.

FYI, Paris has tried it on with unsuccessfully with several pro footballers in the past. Including C-Ron a year ago in L.A.

Now let us never speak of this again.


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63 Responses to “Embargo: Cristiano and Bigfoot”

  1. Madame Rudy says:

    A source did say that Ronny spent more than ??15,000 on the bubbly and other drinks…it would make sense! hahah

  2. Madame Rudy says:

    Thank you so much for banning this! Oh man, when I saw the pics, I about puked. I had to go to the bathroom and dry heave. :S It is sad that she is going to possibly be around Ramos, Gago, Higuain. I am in tears! Word to Ronaldo (who I really can't stand now after this…) get out as soon as you can. What do you see in her? This can't be! His Twitter said, "Such an amazing woman, so giving, gracious and beautiful. I love my princess. Paris is my world. Such a sweet angel." Oh dear God! She is in the footballing world. Anyway, you girls are lovely and fantastic for banning anymore talk about this. Thank you! :) Also, I am loving the comments. They are deffo making my day!

  3. FernieT says:

    I hate her. I hate him. I’m glad she is being banned.

  4. ruby80 says:

    The only positive from the last couple of days events re C-Ron is the fact that at least he won't be spreading whatever he catches off this whore around Manchester in the months to come – let Madrid deal with whatever mutant super-virus the two of them will probably create.

  5. RossiĀ“s girl says:

    I hate this cheap slut! thanks Kickette :)

  6. ThunderGirl says:

    Birds of a feather…

  7. MissU Paolo says:

    Yay! *applauds Kickette* I nearly puked when I read about this…and I am not a C-Ron fan AT ALL…but it’s like he brought all soccer/football players down…hooking up with that-whom-will-not-be-named UGH ICK. What is the attraction????? I am sorry but she has the body of a boy. GROSS.

  8. Becca says:

    im sure she was after frankie aswell wernt she?! back off!!

  9. Eternal Dreamer says:

    A one night stand does not a girlfriend make. Hilarious that this post got so many comments though. Are people really worried that Paris/C Ron will be an item? Never crossed my mind :)

  10. autumnmaple101 says:

    YUCK. It's just typical of more attention-seeking from Paris.

  11. Mamichula says:

    I just don't see the point, it.. just makes no sense. I'm extremely disappointed in him, like.. there's no way he likes her, he's totally in to dark chicas, SERIOUSLY, come on!! And if they're blond, they're usually pretty, but this….. Oh mother.

  12. enamoradaconcasillas says:

    Paris Hilton will never be a WAG, just a low profile ho who should be cut like an afro.. ok, but really, i just read this on TheSuperficial.com: http://thesuperficial.com/2009/06/doug_reinhardt_…

  13. FirstTeamCoach says:

    Ew ew ew ew

  14. Fiorella says:

    haha wooow why? Actually I'm probably biased since I am a Cule, and I would in fact love it if Paris became a Madridista wag.

  15. Jelly says:

    finally a post that makes sense. Fan girls are going crazy defending cristiano. Puh lease. It’s a two way deal. Both need to visit tony robbins and learn self respect. Paris can NEVER enter the WAG club. It gets dead and buried here. Kickette for PM

  16. aristeia says:

    After this wonderful choice, I’ve decided Kickette should rule the world. I often have hoped that chihuahua-faced slag would be banned from life. Mostly so I’d stop having to hear about her and see her anymore.

    After this coupling, I fear for the coming days. If I look outside and see a locust storm, or zombies in the streets, I’ll know who to blame.

  17. didka says:

    I think Paris is AMAZING, and gorgeous and Cristiano missed his chanse to be with her. He is like a child and that`s not hot when you want to hang out with Paris Hilton.

  18. marc says:

    I came to know that Cristiano Ronaldo has had a busy few days, he will be moving to Real Madrid for

  19. Wedding Gown says:

    You get dressed funny to fit into your clique!
    -can I get some tips on really learning how to get dressed like whats on “what not to wear” on discovery ((are there any fashionable willing to part with real knowledge for men?))Wedding Gown

  20. joanna says:


    love the article!!!

    thank god you’re not accepting her…..

    she’s awful!!

    although Ronaldo and herself are equally as fake,pretenious etc.. as each other so they’re perfectly matched!

  21. “that’s so gross… even by cristiano ronaldo standards


  22. ferragamo says:

    DONT HATE ON THE COUPLE… none of our buniesses

  23. sharanb says:

    tut tut his mommy will not be happy!

  24. Jami says:

    Thank god for Kickettes!!! I could not bear to read the article that said the two were hooking up. I think I threw-up a little in my mouth. I’m not even an avid C-ron fan. He is a little to whorish for me. Ban her and ban her for life!!!

  25. Susie says:

    I dont think this was about sex whoring but more about publicity whoring for both..


  26. lady says:


  27. Chi Chi says:

    ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww so gross!! the two biggest sluts in the whole history of promiscuity found each other!!

    yes please Kicktte ban that chick!! you know once she goes to Madrid ( God forbid) and sees the sexy Iker Cassilias, she’ll also try and put some vooodddddooo ish on him!!!

  28. Raina says:

    I support you 100% in this ban, Kickette!  This skank is everything that is wrong with society today.  And yes I blame her for swine flu, cancer and AIDS also.  I knew C-ron likes dirty whores but I really thought even HE was above this disease.  ICK.  First he leaves MAN U, then THIS!  He’s pushing me to the haters’ side!

  29. freddiegirl says:

    Hey Kickettes, haven’t posted for a long time but……
    Now don’t all you CR fans feel better now?  Crissie might not have the best taste in women but it seems as if even he knows better…;)

  30. ss says:

    THANK YOU KICKETTE! Way to keep it classy!

  31. Jon E says:

    Clearly, I don’t understand a lot of what happens on this site, but I really don’t understand the Paris Hilton ban. Seems to me that she’s the quintessential gossip-ready WAG, far more so than even whatsherchest Nereida. I mean, this is Hilton’s performance on the Slapper Wag Checklist:

    __x_ Attention whorish
    _x__ Whorish
    _x__ Vapid
    __x_ Sleazy
    _x__ Narcissistic
    __x_ Obsessed with money & shopping
    _x__ Talentless
    _x__ Capable of looking cheap in $20k ensemble

    Hell, if those blanks were on a 1-10 scale rather than for tick marks, she’d still have a perfect score.

    Seems like she deserves a slot in some flavor of Nasty WAG HOF, not a ban.

  32. Nadia says:

    This is one of the most upsetting things I have ever seen. The ban on that things makes everything better.

  33. Discomouse says:

    Absolutely NOT!!!!!! I think Posh would be none too pleased either!

  34. Krissy says:

    ARE YOU SERIOUS? Can you tell me his official Twitter? Everything seems to be fake. I hope it's fake. Maybe he's confusing his English. And are you sure they even slept with each other? I won't believe it.

  35. strawberrym says:

    I know he's a little man-whore, but really? Paris Hilton? He can do better. She's desperate to be a WAG – I remember she was trying to get her claws into Lampsy a few years ago.

  36. IshYEAH. says:

    I'm backing Kickette on this 100%! I fucking hate Paris Hilton with a damn passion! She is your average innuendo on sex, money and fame! But… I love C-Ron and have for the past 3 years!! FUCK YOU PARIS YOU DIRTY SLUT!

  37. Missy says:

    Oh Thank you Ms. Kickette!! This ban makes me feel much better today.

  38. KTurek says:

    A whore and man-whore. I guess it makes sense, it's just disgusting. No one should ever want to sleep with either one now unless they're trying to get a disease.

  39. HiL says:

    Kickette you are absolutely right. she is too much of a slut to be a WAG.

  40. Berbie's Barbie says:

    Ew thank god he's left United. I don't want my English champions to be around anyone who hangs with that Herpes Whore

  41. nicki says:

    I think I am actually more grossed out by this than the prostitute filled pool parties

  42. Vlada says:

    Aww I love it when soul mates find each other. Then again they could have created an indestructible virus from their union. *shudders*

  43. Nelly says:

    i know no one wants to discuss this, but I need to know…i have a question aboutt the TMZ clip…someone says "only 20 minutes and that was it" was this cristiano?…it kinda sounds like him. i think that it might be him because it seems that he opened that passenger door, made the statement, and closed it. If it was him, did it only last 20 minutes? If so, I would not be suprised…Paris has nothing to turn a man on! Cristiano-get a real woman!

  44. Nelly says:

    WTF!!! Why Paris Hilton!?! She deserves to be banned, from Kickette and from celeb news in general because she is not a real celebirity. Cristiano has lost my respect as a person. By this I mean that I only respect him as a footballer, because I love him on the pitch. Off the pitch? Well, he completely disgraces himself. I could not even believe the clip on TMZ. How could he? Whatever. I'm over it.

  45. Anna (Frau Manuel Ne says:

    ew ew ew ew ew. i can't even imagine the offspring of that.

  46. Pau de Silva (aka Sa says:

    jajajaja!! I agree! and I love all the comments! I agree with everyone today! lol :) no! wait, chihuahua face?? oh no :( I have a Chihuahua, random fact, HIS name is Paris, because of the Troya movie, of course… yeah, my Chihuahua hates me too…. damn, Cristiano, this is so terrible, for real, you were THAT drunk???

  47. carly says:

    Yes, I'm very glad for you and us Kickette. This has simply gone too far. My stomach will not tolerate it.

  48. TammyV says:

    I fully support your position Kickette

  49. Krissy says:

    I know C Ron is the definition of a manwhore, but Paris Hilton!? I’m so happy he’s in the States right now, I would totally stalk his overtanned ass in L.A. if I could, but PARIS HILTON!? For being rich and attracting millionaires, you don’t get much cheaper than her. Indeed low, even for him. No doubt he wanted to get to know the trashiest “socialite” of the US, but no way even he would make her a WAG. I won’t believe it.

  50. Lizzie A.K.A "The Kid" says:

    This post made my day. We appreciate this kickette…A LOT!!!

  51. lanenalinda3 says:

    *gags* that’s so gross… even by cristiano ronaldo standards

  52. suzzyd says:

    wow…really unnecessary, did he have to stoop that low??

  53. Fer_Lahm says:

    EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW i’m not going to accept her in the wag-club! and i’m not going to have that kind of woman as a wag-idol! idk!

  54. suzie says:

    He must have been drunk. Seriously for a guy who dumps his women as soon as the press get a whiff or they sell their story, hooking up with the queen of professional dating for maximum media exposure makes no sense. Just don’t take her to madrid c-ron- imagine the damage she could do (shudders).

  55. livealittle says:

    thank you kickette. nobody wants to speak of that…horror. or whore-or. whichever you prefer.

  56. Baby Freya (Mrs Arbeloa) says:

    Hahaha! ‘Feet like canoes’, love it! But I hate her!

  57. Pau de Silva (aka Sambu) says:

    jajajaja!! I agree! and I love all the comments! I agree with everyone today! lol :) no! wait, chihuahua face?? oh no :( I have a Chihuahua, random fact, HIS name is Paris, because of the Troya movie, of course… yeah, my Chihuahua hates me too…. damn, Cristiano, this is so terrible, for real, you were THAT drunk???

  58. carly says:

    Yes, I’m very glad for you and us Kickette. This has simply gone too far. My stomach will not tolerate it.

  59. TammyV says:

    I fully support your position Kickette

  60. Boston Red says:

    Disgusting, disgusting, and disgusting.

  61. FootballerChick43 - "Mrs.Ballack" says:


  62. Erin says:

    He does seem to continually go for the tranny type….wonder why….

    In the end, I think they’re a perfect match. They deserve each other.