May 17th, 2012

Euro 2012 Accommodations Overview: Republic Of Ireland


Welcome to the Sopot Sheraton Hotel in Poland, where the Ireland NT will be free to enjoy all of the benefits of being an elite athlete.

In moderation.

Obviously, Giovanni Trapattoni’s recent statement had the Kickette Masssive on high alert, so we’re particularly interested in the environs of the Sheraton, because with any luck we’ll be spending lots of time there.

Our first sighting does not make us feel optimistic. We have seen The Shining, y’know.

The Grounds


Oh, this is much better. We may have to siphon off a proportion of the Kickette refreshment fund to purchase a motorboat, but a beach landing would give us a clear run to the rooms. This makes a dash across the beach and the inevitable sand in our Loubs all worthwhile.


The Restaurant


How thoughtful of the hotel to take our requirements into consideration! While dining, we can stare longingly past whichever helpless player we bullied into taking us on a date, towards the selection of wines on offer. His proximity to the chilled cabinets means he can simply turn around and grab our desired bottle for us on demand.

Admittedly he may get a little chilly, seeing as how he won’t have any clothes on, but our scintillating (if increasingly slurred) conversation will distract him.


The Bedroom Spa Room


UPDATE: Alright, our bad. It’s a spa room. But we can’t help the fact that every time we see a bed, we think bedroom, can we? Besides. The Swiss roll question still applies.


OK, a couple of questions. Are those giant Swiss rolls on the beds? Can we have them? If the answer is no to either, we will be forced to mention how amusing we find the idea of two ‘ballers sharing his n’ his wash basins, the bath, which appears to be on a plinth in the corner and basically, the decor as a whole.

If they are Swiss rolls, and we can have them, we will not need to mention the above.


The Bathroom

Image: REUTERS/Peter Andrews.

Again, this gives us reservations about our reservations. While the glass panel would provide us with the perfect view of our footballer desperately trying to warm himself up in the bath after dinner, the chances of one of us running straight into it and severing a limb are higher than you might dare imagine.

Shame really. That mirror is massive.


We conclude that while the communal areas are tailored to our requirements, some minor changes to the living accommodation will be needed. Trust us, you hotel guys do not want to get into an altercation with an inebriated Kickette staffer brandishing a large cushion, who then, despite your pleas, attempts to eat it.

Trust us. Make the changes, then we’ll talk.

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7 Responses to “Euro 2012 Accommodations Overview: Republic Of Ireland”

  1. neals yard says:

    Wonderful design. I love these places. nice decoration.

  2. allan says:

    This is how good life looks to me. Since I last read about the tantric massage Hong Kong I wanted to have one myself, is there any chance I could get this kind of massage here? Please share more about it even though you have me conquered already!

  3. Jayy says:

    LMFAO THE SHINING. oh I do love you Kickette!

  4. LittleGreen says:

    The images you have for the bedroom are of the spa.

  5. Bella says:

    Those are massage tables!!! You can order a case of swiss rolls to eat whilst having various body parts propped up on the similar looking bolsters as you get your aromatherapy rub down, followed by a little time for two (or more if that's your thing and the boys are sharing…rooms of course) in the jacuzzi. And this is all BEFORE finding the massive king sized bed that will obviously be somewhere in that massive suite. Should I say massive again ;-) ? And we can only imagine the pillow pile on the bed itself if that's what turns up in the treatment area. Sigh.
    This is our favorite hotel, either that or heaven. We don't even care who is in the Ireland side. If the massive king sized bed has a view of the whatever-body-of-water is out back, we're selling the house and booking in. (I'm assuming that would just about cover a two week stay during the tournament).
    Nice coverage! I have to take a nap.

  6. IrishBlue says:

    Ah, so this is where my boys will be staying! It's not exactly blowing me away mind, and why on this earth is there a bath in the bedroom?

    Oh who cares, I can't wait for this to begin, come on yee boys in green!

  7. JaneSpotting says:

    Bedroom? Looks like a massage room. How about a roll onto the floor.

    Single beds in middle of room like that is sort of medical/creepy