May 16th, 2012
Euro 2012 NT Announcements: Varying Degrees Of Importance
Gareth Barry and James Milner were on the golf course in Spain when they got the England squad selection news. Fitting. Image: Warren Little/Getty Images.
Three weeks before kick off, we were starting to get a little panicky about our coverage strategy for England at EURO 2012. John Terry’s recent transgressions, plus questions over his ability to play alongside Rio Ferdinand in central defence raised the possibility of the ex-captain not making the squad altogether. That would’ve seriously impeded our ability to snark over any divisions that *may* occur during the tournament, ya know what we mean?
Then this morning came and Roy Hodgson decided to include JT in his squad and omit Rio. Thus, our strategy is safe.
We seem to be the only people this works for, though. #Hodgsonout was trending on Twitter within twenty minutes of the announcement.
In other (slightly less facetious) squad news, Arsenal poppets Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and Theo Walcott make the cut, Danny Welbeck, Wayne Rooney, Ashley Young & Phil Jones are representin’ Manchester United while Jolean Lescott, Joe Hart and James Milner have the Blue half of Manchester covered. Stevie G captains.
Image: FRANCK FIFE/AFP/Getty Images.
If the possibility of not being able to snark about England sent us into a flat spin, the rumours that Yoann Gourcuff might not make the French NT squad nearly tipped us over the edge. Luckily, Lashes was named in Laurent Blanc’s provisional side yesterday, with the manager hoping his experience would be useful.
Cristiano Ronaldo will captain a Portugal squad that includes Nani, Raul Meireles and Fabio Coentrao, as well as Benfica’s Nelson Oliveira, who may give the Thighmaster a run for his money in the hotness stakes.
No announcement has been made regarding the status of Raul Meireles’ hair for the tournament, but we’re hopeful that someone will be able to catch it and put it out of it’s misery before it starts taking team meetings.
If can get into his shirt without incident, Balotelli may do a job for Italy. Image: Claudio Villa/Getty Images.
Despite a ‘breach of team ethics‘ that saw him dropped for the last round of international fixtures, Mario Balotelli has been named in the 32-man provisional squad named by Cesare Prandelli on Sunday. Marco Borriello did not make the cut, presumably because Prandelli doesn’t want two guys with poor navigation skills on the team.
His selection of Daniele De Rossi alongside Balotelli suggests that he has no such problems with lunacy.
You will note that there are teams missing from this post. Some of the line-ups have not yet been announced, which is a reasonable defence. The rest were announced when we were sale shopping at Selfridges, which is no defence at all.
We’re sure you’ll do the honours for us, won’t you, Kickettes?