February 15th, 2010
Excuse FAIL: Ashley Cole’s Sexy Texts
And… another one bites the dust. (Rio, we’ll get to you in a minute.) But for now, let’s examine the public relations fail that somehow advised the very married Ashley Cole to explain away sending photos of his penis to a glamour model in this manner:
He was “larking about”.
Taking photos of his naked body. Just, ‘cuz.
Then a friend of a friend’s mate with bad credit needed a way to communicate and Ashley passed on his pay-as-you-go (?) phone… and the rest is history.
As everyone in the free world is aware, PAYG phones are for drug dealers, cheaters and 10-year-old girls. As everyone in the free world is also aware: Ashley’s excuse is complete and utter bollocks.
Especially when another girl has come out with more photos. Sigh.
We’re coming round to the idea that supporting the England squad means supporting skankery in all it’s forms, both stupid and sophisticated. But mostly stupid. So, let’s all throw our wholehearted backing into STD testing and move past this.
And also: We want to see the photos. No shame in our game.
Random: Ashley’s injury makes us stampy; he’s such a talented player. World Cup, we barely knew ye.