March 8th, 2010
Extended Weekend Results: Round-Up
Image via Reuters
Just a few weeks ago we were lamenting the lack of inspired goal celebrations. Sergio Ramos heard our call and decided the time was right to debut a ridiculous combo of the sublime: a nipple stroking celebration from Saturday’s match against Sevilla.
While there are pictures, they don’t quite do his performance justice. You can now enjoy, in full cinematic majesty, last Saturday’s fateful moment of self-touchery.
We’re baffled as to why this took place, but we’ll just put it down to The Ramos™ Effect. After all, who needs reasoning when you have Sergio. And his bottom.
We barely had time to recover from Aaron Ramsey’s hideous leg break from last week before we were forced to watch another hurt Gooner. On Saturday, Cescy Fabregas limped off the pitch during the Bolton match with a hamstring strain. Fortunately for us, he provided some quality Tuesday Torso before hitting the phsyio table.
-England supporters will be distraught to learn the traditional pre-World Cup March Metatarsal Mayhem has begun. Wes Brown, please get better soon. We don’t like seeing anyone with ouchies.
However, not all seems to be lost. After what feels like a decade-long lay-off, Owen Hargreaves and his frizz-free curls are set to feature for Manchester United reserves.
In breaking WAG news, Iker’s latest/alleged/sometime squeeze Sara Carbonero has advised that she hates black cats and keeps a pen, paper & perfume in her purse. We are not excited by this info, but we have made a note to round up several dozen black cat the next time we’re in PastaSauce’s neck of the woods.
Also not excited is Christine Bleakley. We have read this article several times now, from many different angles, and it still makes no sense.
Last night we watched in agony as Fernando Torres lay spread out on the pitch. Sans short tent. He had the perfect moment. And he spoiled it. As an FYI, there’s a split decision at Kickette HQ as to whether its Fer’s time to take a spot on the F5 list. This type of behavior doesn’t help the cause.
Anyway, enough of this fooling around. As a result of too much liquor and not enough sleep/La Mer, it seems we carelessly misplaced a vital, top secret Kickette reference document. We now have to find ourselves a new Xerox guy to come replace our cartridges.
Hope the weekend’s results were good for you!