March 8th, 2010

Extended Weekend Results: Round-Up

Image via Reuters

Just a few weeks ago we were lamenting the lack of inspired goal celebrations. Sergio Ramos heard our call and decided the time was right to debut a ridiculous combo of the sublime: a nipple stroking celebration from Saturday’s match against Sevilla.

While there are pictures, they don’t quite do his performance justice. You can now enjoy, in full cinematic majesty, last Saturday’s fateful moment of self-touchery.

We’re baffled as to why this took place, but we’ll just put it down to The Ramos™ Effect. After all, who needs reasoning when you have Sergio. And his bottom.

We  barely had time to recover from Aaron Ramsey’s hideous leg break from last week before we were forced to watch another hurt Gooner. On Saturday, Cescy Fabregas limped off the pitch during the Bolton match with a hamstring strain. Fortunately for us, he provided some quality Tuesday Torso before hitting the phsyio table.

-England supporters will be distraught to learn the traditional pre-World Cup March Metatarsal Mayhem has begun. Wes Brown, please get better soon. We don’t like seeing anyone with ouchies.

However, not all seems to be lost.  After what feels like a decade-long lay-off, Owen Hargreaves and his frizz-free curls are set to feature for Manchester United reserves.

Without fail, Antonio Cassano always provides the best pick-me-ups. The Sampdoria player’s aversion to clothes somehow always cures a case of the Monday blues.

In breaking WAG news, Iker’s latest/alleged/sometime squeeze Sara Carbonero has advised that she hates black cats and keeps a pen, paper & perfume in her purse. We are not excited by this info, but we have made a note to round up several dozen black cat the next time we’re in PastaSauce’s neck of the woods.

Also not excited is Christine Bleakley. We have read this article several times now, from many different angles, and it still makes no sense.

Nor this.

Last night we watched in agony as Fernando Torres lay spread out on the pitch. Sans short tent. He had the perfect moment. And he spoiled it. As an FYI, there’s a split decision at Kickette HQ as to whether its Fer’s time to take a spot on the F5 list. This type of behavior doesn’t help the cause.

Anyway, enough of this fooling around. As a result of too much liquor and not enough sleep/La Mer, it seems we carelessly misplaced a vital, top secret Kickette reference document. We now have to find ourselves a new Xerox guy to come replace our cartridges.

Hope the weekend’s results were good for you!

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50 Responses to “Extended Weekend Results: Round-Up”

  1. Megan says:

    Oh come on Kickettes put Nando in the F5

    How can you say no to this face?…

  2. sounderslove says:

    Fernando for F5 please? Por favor? And Cescy to return. His absence is literally killing me.

  3. Allie says:

    I love Sergio! I was literally like, "wow did he just rub his nips?" ahahah best thing ever!

  4. julia says:

    put Nando on the F5, please? Many of you have probably already seen this picture of him, but if you haven’t, then your lucky! I’m melting… Never mind the text cause it’s all in Swedish, but just take a look at the picture of Nando…..and you realise why he should be on the F5.

  5. Laura Dee says:


    I went to the Wigan vs Liverpool game. I'm a Wigan fan, and have to say that L'Pool truly was not at their best.

    But, I'm glad Wigan won. :D YAY.

    • Alisha! says:

      I was so happy Wigan won…I'm a huge fan of James McCarthy :D Wigan really deserved it!

      • Laura Dee says:

        N’aww, thankyou. :’)
        Yeah, he is rather amazing. He’ll be at one of the big clubs in years to come, I’m sure of it.
        I felt so proud of the team that night. I couldn’t believe it. Amazing. They all played their part. It’s about time Wigan got heard. :D

  6. Morgan says:

    It never ceases to amaze me how the photographers of the world know that there’s a market for these types of photos (see: “the perfect moment” link from the Torres section). God bless them.

  7. Inés says:

    Cesc’s torso is excelent to heal the pain of not having him this Tuesday’s CL match!

  8. tammyv says:

    Sergio that was sweet that he remembered the prisoners request.

    Christine’s interview, well I discribed my feelings about that in the dress thread but it was passive-agressive as hell.

    Also, when you just start dating daddy, it is a really bad idea to bash is children’s mother. An attack on WAGs is directly an attack on Elen.

    And the Bitch list = awesome

  9. Aisha says:

    Come on, Kickette! Just because Nando didn’t show his… items, doesn’t mean he cannot be put on the F5. Personally, I think Marco Borriello should be put on there!

  10. shay says:

    I don’t want to love The Ramos, but he makes me.

  11. Senorita Iniesta says:

    Kickettes, I beg you.
    There were this twenty most amazing seconds in my life during the Madrid:Sevilla game, when Sergio all out of sudden stood in front of the cameras half-butt-naked.
    And I was searching the entire three days but could not find a freaking single picture.
    Would somebody help me, please? Just one picture?
    (Or at least tell me that somebody else has seen it to and it was not one of my fangirlish mirages … ;) )

    • senora ramos says:

      i saw 2 lucious glimpses at el romos’s nummy tush, but no didn’t see him stand in front of the camera for 20 sec half nakey. i am very jeal of you right now.

    • Mel says:

      I saw it too, it was in the first half, when he tried to reach en ball flying through the air before it was out.

      If someone had recorded that game, the proof would be there forever.

      • senora ramos says:

        this is why i need dvr. i just saw his loveliness on the ground, no standing :(

        • coco says:

          saw the game.. saw the tush… and thank god for dvr… i can’t tell how many times me, my mom, and sis..was lovely… am looking out for the photos…:)

          • Senorita Iniesta says:

            Amazing! Tell me if you find any ^^
            Shame on these photographers … where were they, anyway? *g*

  12. Laura says:

    Sergio, you tease.

  13. Lissette says:

    well The Ramos can do nothing wrong or weird in my eyes :)

    in other ummm news, C-Ron new nike commercial is just about him talking about how he loves himself haha, all while working out in a very tight shirt in a mirrored room ITS A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!LOL

    • MrsNesta says:

      Castrol are giving people the chance to have a one-on-one with CR. This includes lovely weekend in Madrid (with possible chance of spotting Sergio, Iker, Xabi…..) And it has to be noted that Castrol make oil and lubricants :) :) :)

      • senora ramos says:

        it's not nice to joke with me. you are joking? no? please say no.

        • MrsNesta says:

          Yeh its a competition, entries in my 31st March, think the one-on-one means maybe being able to play footie or something!

          • MrsNesta says:

            That means I’m not joking :)

            • Pamela. says:

              True. I've heard of the contest weeks ago and I have been trying to register in the Castrol website but the link doesnt work!!! rrggh! Has the same happened to any of you?

          • mel says:

            There is one catch. If you don't live I one of the following countries, you can't win a meeting with Ronaldo.

            China, Germany, Indonesia, Jordan, Kuwait, Oman, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, South Africa, Spain, The united Emirates, United Kingdom

            I you live in one of those countries, good for you. If not, you can still take the quiz about Ronaldo (answer 3 questions correct) and win nothing. So everyone wins something… Or not.

            It sucks so bad, that I live in Denmark…. I hate competitions that exclude someone based on their location….

  14. Molly says:

    I love Sergio, I can't help it lol. I just find him so sexy and he really isn't my type of guy.

    The black cat thing is hilarious. I'll make sure if I ever visit Madrid in the future that I will bring my share of black cats to PastaSauces doorstep.

    Christine Bleakley is so annoying. I don't even want to hear about her anymore. I'm over her and her fakeness.

  15. Sarah says:

    Hahahaha the bitches list! Oh DC…

  16. Graciela says:

    See Dirty Tackle for the explanation of Ramos' nipple love:…

  17. Mel says:

    I enjoyed the real game very much, but I was more confused about Marcelo's new hairdue, than I was about The Ramos' goal celebration.

    What's up with the braided hair… He looks like a girl

    • senora ramos says:

      his hair looks god awful. i am trying to pretend it never happened and as he's suspended for tomorrow, i won't have to look at it too soon. i hope it's gone by this weekend, but i have little hope for that

      • Mel says:

        My jaw fell to the ground when I saw it, and I was in complete shock. It is very hard to get over. He is not among the hottest real players anymore.

        • senora ramos says:

          yeah, i know what you mean. i was like, who is that. and then marcelo wth did you do?!

          that team is full of hot players. like pretty much everyone. except lady gago, he does nothing for me!

          • Mel says:

            Gago was also excluded from my list, when he got that awful haircut. Ican't decide which is worse, Marcelo's or Gago's… Tuff call!

  18. senora ramos says:

    i for one loved the nipple stroking sexiness. that man can do no wrong in my eyes (possible because some of the wrong that he does do is blinding to my eyes). and thanks for the photo of the sexy bottom. he really loves us as it happened twice. i was starting to get excited myself!

    what a great weekend for me! landycakes scored and assisted (freaking POS bruce arena wanting him back in the MLS is BS). barca drew and i watched the most amazing game i've ever seen as a madrid fan (though i haven't been following too long)! Up Madrid! Down Barca! HALA MADRID!!!!

    • senora ramos says:

      i would also like to fuss kaka, b/c i believe more sexy celebration was coming from sergio. possible stripping of clothes would've been REALLY nice

  19. Missy Manchester says:

    LMFAO @ Antonio Cassano. What's the fashion rules about wearing underwear with socks and shoes–but no shirt or pants? Do the socks have to match the underwear?

    I suppose it could be worse…he could have been running around in his tighty whities and wearing socks with SANDALS :o

  20. miya says:

    guys i was curious about why sergio celebrated like that and it turns out it was for the inmates at the jail he visited! they told him to do that celebration when he scored lol :P
    he’s such a nice guy!

  21. Trisha (Mrs Iker Casillas) says:

    Yeah, i know its sick but i enjoyed that nipple stroking action!!! I wonder what made him do that? Maybe he dedicated it to his latest squeeze! ;)

    I also enjoyed that two times when i got a glimpse of his thigh and butt!!!

    The Ramos will never seize to amaze me! He is one unusual character and i love him but Iker more!!!

    Now i know if i am ever in Madrid, to round up all the black cats and place them outside pastasauces house. I bet she will be wondering why she ever said that. :0

    LOL, if i dressed up like a witch all in black with a broom stick in one hand and a black cat in another. That should scare her off!!!

    LOL, Im so selfish when it comes to Iker!!! I cant help it, help me!, please!!!

    • Thea says:

      trisha, I wouldn’t worry, the romour’s begining to die a death out here now, you can’t keep aa story going with no photo’s to back it up!

      • Trisha (Mrs Iker Cas says:

        Thanks Thea, U are so sweet!

        Dont know why but of all his girlfriends, i just dont like her!!!

        Hope, i get to see him again for the World Cup. Drop me a line if you are in SA. We will stalk him together. LOL. :)

        • MrsNesta says:

          Trisha I don't believe the story either but I think she's enjoying the attention from it (very jealous I am) but I did have to laugh when reading the article because as well as The Ramos being a legend I have to say Google translation is a legend because it referred to her as a him….ha ha ha loser :)

        • MrsNesta says:

          I have a black kitten who I am training to hiss at pictures of pastasauce, so give me a shout when going to Madrid as have weekend bag packed:)

          • Trisha (Mrs Iker Casillas) says:

            Ha ha…. MrsNesta, very jealous i am too….. lol

            I think she and her friends started these rumours. Whats the chances of just after breaking up with your boyfriend, you are spotted in a club celebrating with Iker and then the rumours start again and she keeps quiet about it because she wants them to be true. So predictable we could have her for supper with spaghetti!!! lol.

            Yeah, thats the best too, when google refers to her as a he……

            Cool, will let you know about Operation Black Cat to be held in Madrid….. :)

  22. Awww.. Come on Kickettes! Give Nando a break and put him in the finest five please..

    Nobody deserves to be there more!

  23. bam says:

    You know what I don't get about Cassano? He appears to completely shave his armpits & yet keeps what looks like stubble on his chest…it's odd.

  24. Innocenza says:

    Ohhhhhh Sergio. He's like the musical nipple choir boy. And now I want his vice-like thighs more than ever now, thanks.

    I'll take one for the team and give Nando a cuddle instead.