June 4th, 2010

Fancy A Brazilian? The Five Hottest Brazil World Cup Players

Kaka (left) and Robinho demonstrate some NT guy love. Awww! (Images: Reuters, AP Photos, Getty Images)

Brazil. Five World Cup wins. The only team to have played in every single World Cup Tournament. Currently and consistently number one in the FIFA NT Rankings.

But let’s not pretend we care. The beauty about Kickette, you see, is that all of the above achievements pale into insignificance when the real questions are asked. Like, who in the Brazil NT will be bringing the ‘hawt’ to South Africa? We’ve spent some time on this and are now in a position to reveal our tawdry thoughts.


Ok, so we’ll ‘fess up. We were going to put Alexandre Pato (see below) in this spot, but due to the shopping sked/excessive drinking blah blah we neglected to note he hadn’t actually made the team. Nilmar has very kindly stepped into the breach though, supplying all the tousled hair and tournament standard thighs we require from the cutie contingent. And get this: He’s never exposed himself on the internet, either. Well. Not that we’ve found yet.

Julio Cesar

So while Pato Nilmar has ‘pretty’ all sewn up, who is going to be bringing the testosterone to the Brazil NT party? Look no further than Julio Cesar, who supplies enough of the stuff to paint the walls. Yum!


Oh Kaka. The terrible impact of C-Ron’s arrival in Madrid is now plain for all to see. But a lack of availability of spray tan in the Spanish capital does not diminish our love for young Ricardo, whose pretty eyes and shapely legs are more than a little distracting. Keep a pair of sunglasses near the TV though. Just in case he takes his shirt off.


We used to think you were so pretty and lovely, Robinho. And then you signed for Manchester City and threw some hissy fits and left. To be honest, we found the whole thing all a bit off-putting. But you’re still kind of cute. And if we’re being honest, it was a choice between you and this man. So welcome to the Kickette party!


Well, having glimpsed this image (left), the writing was on the wall for Grafite. (Sorry. We’re just really excited.) A fantastic season in the Bundesliga with Wolfsberg and inclusion in Kickette Hottest 5 Brazilian players list, though? All he needs now is a manbag and our lives will be complete!

Honourable Mention: Alexandre Pato

Okay, so our baby boy’s decision-making is somewhat suspect. There’s the whole ‘failed marriage’ thing. The whole ‘exposing oneself on a webcam’ thing. The whole ‘getting left out of the Brazil NT and thus nearly ruining this post’ thing. But if being an asshat prevented one from appearing, or indeed working on Kickette, there’d be no one here. So here’s to being an asshat. Long may it continue!

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27 Responses to “Fancy A Brazilian? The Five Hottest Brazil World Cup Players”

  1. NandosGirl says:

    “You have a Brazilian AND Arshavin? Very smooth, Voyeur!”
    The title inspired me to quote Special 1 TV’s most epic episode, sorry about that :P
    Now, down to business…I’ll have one of each, thanks.

  2. Sylvia15 says:

    Omg..ive never seen Kaka look so hot.. Tousled hair..

    People egg my window because i have the spain flag up and everywhere else is the england flag :(

    Then they find out im 15 and they back off!! yeah!!!

    Maybe its the massive posters of Cesc and Villa and Pique and Alonso and Gourcuff stuck on the windows that scare them off…

  3. NinyaC says:

    Yay Nilmar!! Nilmar has a cute boy look (ala Kaka). Cesar is hot and arguably the best goalkeeper today. I have to say Maicon is very hot too.

  4. cr9 lover says:


  5. Johanna says:

    If I were forced to pick 5 from the roster, I'd have to go with: Julio Cesar(unstoppable), Julio Baptista(imposing in stature), Dani Alves(green eyes), Doni(cool) and Maicon(humility).

  6. beth says:

    spain next please

  7. ba says:

    Well, Brazil is hot like France! But Spain wins for me xD. Ladies, not just top 5 men..it's unfair..should be 10/11 top hot men so there is no confusions or fights

  8. Lolinha says:

    No Felipe Melo?

    I love my team more than all my bags, shoes and hair products combined, but (not counting Kaká and JC) I wouldn’t go as far as to use the word hot. Adorable, yes. All of them.

  9. Lucy says:

    mmm the only good looking one is Kaká the rest well not that much

  10. elnino says:

    Oh how fantastic Kickette!
    But you are still missing a list of Spain’s top five men.
    Hope to see that one in the comming days!

    • We featured Spain a while back so are going to cover some of the other big squads first :) xo

      • NandosGirl says:

        You can never feature enough Spain. NEVER. But, I appreciate the high amounts of Boca on Kickette lately. So, carry on with your lovely World Cup coverage :)

  11. Julio Cesar = packaged testerone. And Robinho…oh Robinho…that swag…need I say more? Didn't think so. :-p

  12. MrsNesta says:

    Kaka for me please :) Although think my all time lush Brazilian is Roberto Carlos :)

    • Lolinha says:

      OMG, mine too! What is up with that?

      • Nancy says:

        Add me to the list! I used to root for Brazil just for the one and only Roberto Carlos….that man is mesmerizing. God bless, wherever you are, Roberto.

        Is it just me, or Brazil is just not as exciting as it used to be? I mean, they're never short of talent but something about the current NT that just doesn't get me excited.

        • sandra says:

          I'm Brazilian and I agree with you. As do many of my compatriots. Then again, the 2006 team was rich with talent and look where it got us.

  13. Ella says:

    For me, certainly not the best-looking team. But they make up for in skill.

  14. Yasmin says:

    I wonder which team is next? :)

  15. Regiii says:

    I dig my boys whether they're hot or not… It's Brazil baby!! We may not agree on our coach's idea of a good team but hey, we are the ones with the 5 stars on the jersey!!!

    • Regiii says:

      But u asked us if we fancy any of them, gotta answer that: Julio Cesar, Kaka and Robinho r on my hottie list!!!

  16. senora ramos says:

    ha ha! love it ladies!! i fance kaka, paleness and all.