June 4th, 2010
Fancy A Brazilian? The Five Hottest Brazil World Cup Players
Kaka (left) and Robinho demonstrate some NT guy love. Awww! (Images: Reuters, AP Photos, Getty Images)
Brazil. Five World Cup wins. The only team to have played in every single World Cup Tournament. Currently and consistently number one in the FIFA NT Rankings.
But let’s not pretend we care. The beauty about Kickette, you see, is that all of the above achievements pale into insignificance when the real questions are asked. Like, who in the Brazil NT will be bringing the ‘hawt’ to South Africa? We’ve spent some time on this and are now in a position to reveal our tawdry thoughts.
Ok, so we’ll ‘fess up. We were going to put Alexandre Pato (see below) in this spot, but due to the shopping sked/excessive drinking blah blah we neglected to note he hadn’t actually made the team. Nilmar has very kindly stepped into the breach though, supplying all the tousled hair and tournament standard thighs we require from the cutie contingent. And get this: He’s never exposed himself on the internet, either. Well. Not that we’ve found yet.
So while Pato Nilmar has ‘pretty’ all sewn up, who is going to be bringing the testosterone to the Brazil NT party? Look no further than Julio Cesar, who supplies enough of the stuff to paint the walls. Yum!
Oh Kaka. The terrible impact of C-Ron’s arrival in Madrid is now plain for all to see. But a lack of availability of spray tan in the Spanish capital does not diminish our love for young Ricardo, whose pretty eyes and shapely legs are more than a little distracting. Keep a pair of sunglasses near the TV though. Just in case he takes his shirt off.
We used to think you were so pretty and lovely, Robinho. And then you signed for Manchester City and threw some hissy fits and left. To be honest, we found the whole thing all a bit off-putting. But you’re still kind of cute. And if we’re being honest, it was a choice between you and this man. So welcome to the Kickette party!
Well, having glimpsed this image (left), the writing was on the wall for Grafite. (Sorry. We’re just really excited.) A fantastic season in the Bundesliga with Wolfsberg and inclusion in Kickette Hottest 5 Brazilian players list, though? All he needs now is a manbag and our lives will be complete!
Okay, so our baby boy’s decision-making is somewhat suspect. There’s the whole ‘failed marriage’ thing. The whole ‘exposing oneself on a webcam’ thing. The whole ‘getting left out of the Brazil NT and thus nearly ruining this post’ thing. But if being an asshat prevented one from appearing, or indeed working on Kickette, there’d be no one here. So here’s to being an asshat. Long may it continue!