July 11th, 2011
Farewell, Fabs! Cannavaro Announces His Retirement
Image via REUTERS/Sebastien Pirlet.
Five years to the day that he led his calcio boys to victory in the 2006 World Cup, Fabio Cannavaro has announced his retirement from the game. Persistent knee and other injuries led to the decision to hang up his boots.
Awful news, isn’t it?
Canna’s is a legacy of incredible footballing talent: most capped Italian player in history, 2006 European Footballer of the Year, expert chest hair shaver, love of the game and eyes that can peel off a good pair of knickers with one glance (we and Alena Seredova speak in facts and truths, Kickettes).
Search your souls, Kickettes, while you consider this: we may all revel in the shelf booty talents of Higgy, but where would his champagne glass-supporting bottom be without the trailblazing glutes of Fabio Cannavaro? We can all flip through the many laminated pages of our David Beckham for Armani underwear scrapbooks whenever the spirit takes us, but how often do we pay our respects to one of the original “posing half-nekkid for fun + profit” footballers that partook in the infamous Italian NT Dolce & Gabbana adverts?
Indeed, without Fabio’s unselfish, commitment to stripping off in public arenas, would one of John Terry’s finest moments have ever occurred? We shudder to think of what our daily lives would be without that image.
But also, there’s more:
- They had to shrink some size. Just click the link, ‘kay?
- Canna’s thick, full brows ushered in a new era of male grooming. We call it machoscaping, machosexual, etc. Also, we think his commitment to bush has indirectly influenced the return to fuller, more natural brows that supermodels all over worldwide catwalks now sport.
- He came with a bonus prize: a younger, hot brother. Two for the price of one. We dig.
-There’s no better smile in the business. See here for further evidence. Better yet, check out his superb smile with random long-necked animals.
Talk to us, readers – tell us your favourite memories and moments of the inimitable Fabio Cannavaro.