February 15th, 2011
Fernando Torres: Boutique Bounty
Don’t you hate it when you lust after an outfit for months and months, fantasise about how good you’ll look in it and what magical powers you’ll have at your disposal while you’re wearing it? For a while you may even be thwarted in your attempts to acquire this delectable outfit; maybe it’s out of stock, maybe the boutique won’t sell it to you, maybe it’s just the wrong time of the season. It’s worse then, because you just know that outfit wants to come with you. You can feel it in your bones.
You need each other.
But you’re patient, and eventually the time comes when you can stroll up to the boutique in question, credit card twitching in your sweaty hands. It’s expensive – good heavens, it’s expensive – and you already have a few that are similar (left), but you’ve wanted it for so long. You just have to have it. (Getty Images/Zimbio)
Suddenly, miraculously, it’s yours. You take it home, give it pride of place among your other prized ensembles, stare at it in wonderment for a while, show all of your friends. Everyone is excited.
But something’s wrong. You slip it on, you walk around in it for a while, but it’s just not working. You wear it a few times, try it in different combinations, with different accessories in the hope that everything will slip into place but deep down you know the horrible truth.
You’ve just spent a fortune on a garment that simply doesn’t fit into your wardrobe. Dammit.
**We are a jestful and snarky site, but not ill-mannered, so please take with a grain of salt and a shot of tequila.**