September 4th, 2012

Fernando Torres’ Coiffure Needs To Go

Archie O’Hara is not impressed. Images: Chelsea Magazine, Getty Images.

Olalla wife wag daughter nora son leo torresCan any of our trusted readers *puhlease* figure this shiznit out with the scissor gods since it’s clear Fernando Torres is incapable of handling things himself? His face is oh so purrty, yet his hair is oh so clinically depressing.

And while you’re at it, can you also figure out why he’s decided to experiment with Olalla’s tinted bronzer all of a sudden?

Godspeed, Kickettes. This one’s for all the marbles.

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81 Responses to “Fernando Torres’ Coiffure Needs To Go”

  1. sohbet says:

    very blog thanks admin

  2. emma says:


  3. missgermany says:

    i can't help it. i'm totally obsessed with this guy, no matter what he does with his hair. i don't care wether he's pale or tanned, blonde or brunette. to me he's the prettiest man i've ever seen. he's just so special, these freckles!!!! i could go on like that for hours…if i ever meet him in person i'm going to faint.

  4. gina says:

    Why Fernando isn´t on the FF-list yet? Or straight to HHoF? No matter how his hair is, he´s absolutely gorgeous man! And a great husband and father.

  5. Melita says:

    Hahahaha, ladies I love you seriously. Love the comments, you make my day, every day : ).
    Definitely agree on the hair thing, too boyish and hides his beautiful face. BTW have you seen those pictures from his last match, aaayyyyy
    That shirt clinging to his body, wooowww.
    Kickette more Mr. Ramos please : P

  6. Dr. Heidi says:

    I think it's so funny that guys have the same hair issues as us ladies (although I doubt they obsess as much as we do)….I am a newbie to this wonderful world of football, but he is a cutie pie. and there is such a spectrum for us to choose from….cutie pie = Nando, teddy bear=Messi, hottie=Sergio Ramos, handsome=CR. no matter what I'm in the mood for, there is always a footballer to satisfy me…..IF ONLY!!!!

  7. sarah says:

    Can I have this cutie for my breakfast please?

  8. gigi says:

    Torres is still one of the prettiest and sexiest fooballplayers ever! You can´t deny it.

  9. Sara in Paris says:

    He looks like the blond dude from ''Blades of glory''.

    And that`s NOT a good thing.

    • Lola says:

      But that guy (the Napoleon Dinamite guy right?) was ugly. Fernando, despite the hair, is most definitely not ugly.

  10. Nissan says:

    Anyone see the original Karate Kid movie? The blonde kid that was the enemy to Ralph M, in the movie……Nando's hair and that shirt totally made me think of that.

  11. [...] is oh so purrty, yet his hair is oh so clinically depressing. And while you’re at it, [...] – Soccer/football gossip, hot players, WAGs that love them » English Premier Lea… « Bangladesh bans Haque for [...]

  12. Micronesian Justin says:

    He looks like Megan Rapinoe

  13. Sour says:

    Maybe it's the lighting? :(

  14. Jean says:

    I was about to protest but then I found this very HQ image of earlier today…
    No, it turns out I don't mind the hair that much. When styled like that, it suits him perfectly IMO.

  15. mimi says:

    I love his blond hair. It fits him and make him looking special. <3

  16. Gladys says:

    Why all the references to bronzer people? It's summer (or just was). Is it possible that he was actually out in the sun on vacation? I seem to know very few men who actually use sunscreen.

    • DebS says:

      I was also thinking that the make-up artist for the shoot had something to do with it too. For some reason they think people need to be more tan for pictures.

      • April says:

        Not to mention the wonderful world of Photoshop! Very rarely is a professional picture a reflection of the exact reality these days.

  17. MrsVV says:

    The hair is Bad (capital B required!). I can live with the St Tropez tan but please start whitening tonight!! Yellow teeth are just not a good look Nando…

  18. EnglanE says:

    Aww, I think he looks hot with short blonde hair! Blonde suits him better than brown,in my opinion… I most definitely would, though… No matter what hair colour or style!

  19. biroqueen says:

    Compared to some of the previous hair fails he has had, I don’t mind this look really. I still totally would – he needs to be in the finest five!!!

  20. Mirella says:

    He was right though. He looked like a nine year old boy at world cup 2010. And as I understood what he said then, teammates used to make fun of him because of it.

    i think he looked best in the months after, naturally brown, but a teensy bit longer!

  21. momo says:

    He has such a beautiful face, why hide it with this damn hair? UGH!

  22. Lisa says:

    He still deserved to be on the finest five!!! <33333

  23. IrishBlue says:

    Does Olalla like it like this? Can't she cut it when he's sleeping or something?

    I go against my whole usual taste in men for Nando, the hair is a minor annoyance when you look at what's beneath the fluff.

    • Mirella says:

      Olalla stood by him through worse hair cut crises than this , didn't she?

    • April says:

      He seems to go through cycles… he did the long blonde thing, now he is doing the short blonde thing he did some years ago. Maybe we'll eventually get back to the short brown? Honestly, I'll take his blonde hair if he can STOP DYING HIS EYEBROWS! Just a pet peeve of mine.

      But agreed- I normally don't bother looking at blondes much, but Nando defies my regular preferences on about 23 levels.

      • IrishBlue says:

        I much prefer short blonde to long blonde mind you, maybe one day he'll shock us all and go for a buzzcut :D

        • April says:

          I won't lie… I don't even notice his hair color when he is sporting a proper v-neck tee like this:…


          • IrishBlue says:

            Oh April! I know what I'll be dreaming of tonight! He looks delicious in that, yum.

            • April says:

              I'll have to report back to you on what I think he looks like at Stamford Bridge should he be playing in the match against ManU in a couple of months. :D You were kind enough to provide me your review from that CL match, haha!

              • IrishBlue says:

                Are you going????? I would LOVE to get to that game, of all them, that's the one I really want to go to!

                • April says:

                  I am supposed to… booked the flight and hotel, just need to get the tix when they go on sale! Fingers crossed that it works out, or that'll be a bit of money I am out on.

                  • IrishBlue says:

                    Oh I hope it works out for you! I have found it so difficult to get tickets for big games cos of the loyalty point system they have, I went once with Thomas Cook Sport as a package but it's so expensive that way.

                    • April says:

                      I will admit- this relies completely on a fan with membership getting to buy the tickets and my accompanying them. I don't currently have any special means of getting to the big games without any help from some friendly fans with points.

                      Hope you can find a way to the game as well!

          • mimi says:

            What a pic! What a man!

  24. IHeartSpain says:

    His hair looked great for the Camp Nou Barcelona game last spring. He probably got it cut in Spain. I agree, he needs to find a new stylist in London. But I love him whatever, whenever.

  25. Anna says:

    Nando I love you, but the hair must go NOW! He's so pretty though… ''sigh''

  26. Kristina says:

    It's so frustrating! And so hilarious at the same time. I can't help laughing when I see this, it's too much.

  27. Cherry says:

    I like his hair. I like a shaggy, bleached Torres. And the tan. But what puzzles me is his showing off the CL medal since he didn't do anything to deserve it but look pretty. And he certainly excels at that.

  28. Thea says:

    He's back to his pre-op transexual look again. His fashion icon is clearly Nick Rhodes from Duran Duran! Don't even know if it was chic in the 80's!!!

  29. stawberrysexscapade says:

    This entire look says 'I've been hanging out with Raul Meireles too much' (which isn't a bad thing as Meireles is hot, but oompa-loopma-esque). But with Meireles transferring, hopefully the orange will go away…

    • Gladys says:

      Aw, man, you just reminded me that sexy (albeit, stylishly-questionable) Meireles has left. :( Much sadder to me than Nando's hair, though I prefer it brown and less emo.

  30. Gitti says:

    He should definetely start looking for a new hairdresser! Have you recognized this strange strand of hair which kept falling into his face recently? These are those things that really drive me mad :D

  31. Kimmunism says:

    STOP THE SANDY DUNCAN HAIRDO, NANDO!! I love Mr. Torres with a fiery passion, but WTF indeed! Why does he feel compelled to cover his beautiful face? Are you getting grooming tips from Cristiano Ronaldo? (Here’s a tip: CR7 doesn’t have your best interest in mind….)

    Consider this tough love, my dear Fernando, but Sergio Ramos’ hair is currently better than yours. Handle it, bb.

  32. Miss_F says:

    He has been looking a little orange recently! Still a cutie though :)

  33. German_Girl says:

    I honestly don't know why he doesn't just go back to his World Cup 2010 hair – he looked sooo much better then! But I guess he just prefers to be blonde. As for the bronzer, that's just wrong on so many levels.

    • Americus Killaponius says:

      THIS. He said he cut it to look more like a dad but ended up looking younger, and that was a mistake and he won't do it again. And I'm like "NOOOOOO IT'S GOOD LIKE THAAAAAAAAT."