February 5th, 2009
Quick Hits: Babies, Boobies and Bedtimes
Alex Gerrard is advising girls to wait until they’re older before getting a boob job. (Alex went under the knife at eighteen.) Her reasons for waiting? Because “your body changes so much after you have kids,“ and, much more importantly,“it can be harder to find clothes to fit you, so think long and hard before you do it.“
Two minutes in, and already Andrei Arshavin is making women nationwide swoon with his statements of equality. Apparently, he’s stated that all women should have their driving licenses revoked. Oh, dear. When will the cute and pocket-sized learn to sit inside their little Louis Vuitton carrier bags and stay quiet until we let them out for a treat and a run around the park? Never mind we’ll just watch him warble a little bit on the karaoke machine and all will be well again.
Abigail Clancy is ready to have lots of little Crouchies running around. Friends say Abbey thinks she can juggle her career with a child because she has great family support and her relationship with Portsmouth’s Peter Crouch is rock solid. They’ve already chosen a name if they have a baby girl: Perdita. Yup, it’s the dog from 101 Dalmations.
Finally, something that makes sense about the Fernando Torres infomercial ride of shame: it’s all a hoax. As one of our astute commenters, Jesús, let us know yesterday, the hair salon, doggie jumping and tennis advertisement vids are all part of a campaign for a Spanish bank. We’re seriously impressed with Nando’s sense of humour. But a little deflated that he’s not actually this adorkable.
It’s a topic near and dear to our hearts: ballers at bedtime. What thoughts run through their minds while they toss and turn in their money-filled beds, with nothing but a pair of designer tightie-whities on? Sometimes it’s best not to know.
Obviously inspired by our newest F5 member, Yoann Gourcuff, Alex Williams of Ayr United takes his shirt off, kisses the referee and gets booked. This is exactly what’s wrong with refereeing today. Their blatant anti-topless bigotry.
Cheryl Cole has been offered a book deal to write a series of romantic fiction novels aimed at young women. Amount of money up for grabs to put her adventures down in ink? £5 million pounds in advance fees. The recession is obviously only for those without writing talent nor attractiveness.