February 3rd, 2009
Finest Five 3.1: Welcome Yoann Gourcuff
Please welcome our new addition to the Finest Five list*: 22-year-old Yoann Gourcuff, an attacking midfielder currently playing for Bordeaux, on loan from AC Milan.
Here’s why he’s joined our illustrious sizzle list:
It’s quite simple, really. Yoann is a multi-million euro earning athlete with a French accent and eyelashes that make Bambi ready to smack a bitch. He is single, 6’1” tall and is completely comfortable with removing his clothes in a public arena, and if we’re not mistaken, he also takes great delight in doing so.
—
DEPARTING FROM THE LIST:
Sergio Ramos. Sergio, please know that we will always hold a special place in our hearts for you. Your love of pastel colours, man bags, nose jobs in triplicate. Perhaps one day soon we’ll see you again on our list. In the meantime, give us back our damn lip gloss.
BUBBLING UNDER:
Fernando Torres. He’s one of our favourite cuties, but despite the constant petitioning and tireless work of his many fans to get him added to our list, this honour has yet elluded dear Nando. He will get there, Kickettes. We’re just not sure when. However, if anyone can provide us with a Nando-with-facial hair image, it would expediate the process considerably.
Owen Hargreaves. We’d love to have some quasi-English representation on the F5 list, and OH is steadily moving up our love list. Will this be his year?
Link: Finest Five 3.0
Link: Bobby Boswell vs the Finest Five
Link: The Original Finest Five List
*We’re reposting our caveat from our last update: Let us remind both our newer readers and the Kickette hardcore alike that the Finest Five is a personal, ‘of the moment’ list, not a permanent one. A player being moved off the list doesn’t mean we no longer acknowledge his physical/facial abilities, just that we’re crushing for the moment on another. On the other hand, The Hot HOF is a permanent list which recognizes those who have served their teams/countries well and deserve something more formal on the mantelpiece.
kickette when will my boo Nando be on the FF he's like one of the hottest players in the EPL rite nw….thank heavens ramos has been replaced cos i dont find him attractive watsoever….i think Frank Lampard should be in their tooo cos damn he's been looking rather delicious this season ;-….am baffled why cesc is on their…not attractive not even one lil bit
congrats to Yoann cos hes fione!!
hmmmm anybody thought about bojan? xx
come on……where’s the lovely ‘El Nino’? xx
Aww poor Sergio
No Nando again? Seriously what more does he need to do to make the list? I cant believe it, I’m devastated 
:(
Not many ballers (not counting managers) can sustain a whole thread of garbeling, adoring Kickettes without making a single appearance on the pitch.Owen can:D If that is not good enough for FF, oh well.
Look, Serie A is where it's at. Nando needs to be put in, I'd never argue over that, but seriously… c'mon: <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/aMSOuPQNS9Q&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="never"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/aMSOuPQNS9Q&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="never" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> Regardless, welcome Yoann– mmmm… you are soooo welcome. Sorry Serg, but you should have left the nose alone. Also, stalwarts like Totti & Del Piero neeeeeed to be in there. Of course, it is your list Kickette. I guess we'll just have to bombard you with delicious examples…
Serg’s leaving, finally! The top three is perfect now, but I can’t choose a number one, they all deserv the top spot!
ooh, Lashes! Yes! While I agree with Lucy about Xabi's ginger beard, I have to say that the removal of The Ramos was a correct decision in every way. He was getting along for far too long on not his looks. he's an uggo and his new nose definitely did not help. As much as I do love Lashes (so so so much and I do have a new found appreciation for the French) It does sadden me to see Cesc slip down the list.
I think this is my favorite Finest Five since the existence of Finest Five in Kickette.
Thank god Sergio has gone!! It was about timee!! And hello Mr .Gourcuff!! Good move Kickette
Lashes……comme ci, comme ca. And for sergio
Although lashes does understand the importance of postgame clothing removal, so I guess it's ok. Anyways just to spice things up, Guti for HOF! He's hot, you all know it. Dont lie to yourselves. He has the most beautiful eyes in Spain. That's a fact. Ask Rafa B. And his skillz are brillz.
yes!!! Yoann!!!
Basically, I agree with Aristeia (many thanks for that video of Matri, from which I’m still recovering my breath!) Yoann is lovely; he deserves to be on the list just for his famous goal celebration alone. If more players realised they could get onto the list in that way, maybe they would all do it – so much the better for all of us. Totti would definitely be on top for me; also, hope Nando does make it soon, he is so cute. Yes, Candide, let’s make sure Xabi stays on the list!
Nando should get in..
I don’t see anything in Yoann, but a lot of ladies love him, and I’m not compalining as long as Xabi’s in the list.
If we only knew that all it took to climb into the FF list is to strip off to your y-fronts!
In that case, *sobs* my Owen will never move up from the bubbling under category. He rarely removes his top let alone anything else.
But thanks for the mention. He’s #1 on my top 5 regardless of what anyone else thinks.
lose that girl blog
Welcome, Yoann…but, why can’t why Nando get in?!…i think he’s done more than enough to be there…maybe he needs to take off his clothes more..yeah, i think that’s what he (i mean, we) really needs…
Yoann must mean "yummy" in French. Because he deffo is. I most deffo approve!!! The F5 list is also lacking some German blood. Christoph Metzelder, anybody?
Maybe this hottie can make the list
http://fc.barcelona.com/victor_valdes
HE IS SO YUM-O <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/lol.gif" width="19" height="19" alt="LOL" style="border:0;" />
Yoann is cute. But I don’t understand how Xabi is on the list -Sergio is so much hotter than him!
RAMOS! Noooo. He’s still #1 in my bed.
bonjour and welcome monseur Gourcuff!!!!you are one fine underwear exposing,bambi lashed jock
Congratulations, Yoann. There’s a thread dedicated to his unclothed splendor in the Player Gossip section of the Community. Callie and the other ladies are doing a fine job!
highly deserve it. he just melt heart.i mean mine.
Forgot to add my support for the always delicious Owen! The surgeries went well and he’s expected back in August.
Wow The Newbie is HOT!… I Love Rafeal Da Silva..Young, Cute and an Amazing Footballer!
Perfect choice!
Isn't it about time the gorgeous Miguel Torres from Real Madrid gets on the finest five list??
Adios, Sergio… Bonjour, Yoann!!! Well done, Kickette. He is a great addition to the Finest Five!
Camille, I agree with the Metzelder idea, but honestly he should just skip F5 and go right to Hot HOF.
Oh thank god Xabi is still on the list! and I'm so glad sergio is finally gone. and I second the move to take Cesc off, I just don't see it. but overall I think Kickette has made a good choice, "Lashes" is the perfect addition!
I agree Nando should be on the list he has to be one of the Hottest players in the EPL ! glad Yoann is there though and please please please do not i repeat do not put Owen Hargreaves on this list ! so far it has stayed and should stay as a list for foriegners i.e Spanish French and Paraguyan !
I have to disagree re Yoann. He always looks like he's wearing mascara. And thats not a good thing!
Jayyyyyyyyyyyyyy
SCowgirl – I think that 2. But don't worry its a natural source (which I'll love to have) of mascara. As long as he doesn't pluck his eyebrows like Bitchnaldo, I'm fine with him.
Torres!!!
Oh Thank God Ramos is off the list. I support the inclusion of Torres and Hargreaves, but won't someone think of Christoph Metzelder?!?!
Oh my God, what you guys talking about, I need Xabi's beard to live.
Ok, controversal here, but if all it takes to make the FF5 is to remove clothes surely Cris should be back on it. He is rarely fully dressed! Yay for Owen just bubbling under.
Swoon….welcome dear Yoann…he makes a worthy, much worthier addition to the list than Ramos.
for the love of all that is HOLY did you SEE Nando's post match interview the other night? i direct your attention here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CP9glFq1MU and here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJF8mwluieI ACK! with the disabled kids?! come on!
camille, i used to support the idea of christoph metzelder being in the F5, but alas, he is not everyone's cup of tea… besides LizB is right, he doesn't need to waste his time there, just go right to the HOF where he belongs…
yoann is an improvement however… but whatevs, can't knock kickette for liking who she likes… 
<img src="http://i317.photobucket.com/albums/mm363/callie0581/lashes%20gourcuff/n849559741_768438_264.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0"> Le cinq plus beaux! Nous sommes tellement heureux de gagner une place dans la liste des beaux goss. Merci beaucoup
I second everyone who wants Cesc bumped off, no offence Cesc but you're injured and losing cuteness fast.
Goodbye Ramos, Hello Lashes! Wow, definately one for the Finest Five! Again, dammit for Nando not making it! But he will Kickette! I'm going to scour the internet for Nando mit facial hair!!!! And wowzer to OH for bubbling under! Go you Owen! Love him so him, he definately deserves a place! BTW, when is Captain Iker joining the Hot HOF? His entrance is well overdue!
I guess it's time to (re)start…. Alex Del Piero and Francesco Totti for the HOF. When I get a chance, photos will be up in the Serie A thread (and I believe the IBA thread has been rekindled with some ADP.)
I'm liking the F5, even if Iker does nothing for me. But they're all nice tall dark and handsome men
You'll never please everyone Kickette, so we should all just be glad that there is such a place where we can make our own personal F5s and not be jugded by it. (or at least that was the principle)
Ms Kickette! What is with the removal of The Ramos? I was certain it'd be Xabi and his ginger facial fuzz that would get the chop. Stubble is one thing, but when it starts turning whiskery someone needs to stop it, you know, send out the right message of zero tolerance and all that!
Yoann is a worthy of F5 status, any man that removes his clothes that often has to be on the list. Glad to see Xabi clinging on to his no.5 spot, but I cannpt see the Cesc attraction. I think he should be bumped off for Ken-Ron.Buh bye Sergio, you had a good run and I'll always love your flicky hair and dedication to shirt removal.Can't see why Nando or Owen deserve a place though.
I'm liking the F5, even if Iker does nothing for me. But they're all nice tall dark and handsome men
You'll never please everyone Kickette, so we should all just be glad that there is such a place where we can make our own personal F5s and not be jugded by it. (or at least that was the principle)
Yoann is a worthy of F5 status, any man that removes his clothes that often has to be on the list. Glad to see Xabi clinging on to his no.5 spot, but I cannpt see the Cesc attraction. I think he should be bumped off for Ken-Ron.Buh bye Sergio, you had a good run and I'll always love your flicky hair and dedication to shirt removal.Can't see why Nando or Owen deserve a place though.
Just when I was thinking the main page had returned to sanity, I see this. Seriously? Still no Frank? Having one of his best seasons EVER, looking absurdly hot and Kickette is obsessed with evil Elen and still no FF. You know, I'm really beginning to think this site is not for me.
great job kickette. yoann makes me happy and other things, but let's just stick with happy…
Well, my FF and Kickette's don't correspond exactly, but I am quite happy to see Yoann replace The Ramos! Definitely more appealing IMO.
LL — you said it. Hope next time there's some Brits in the FF. Just my opinion, gals. *dons tin foil hat*
: ( NO ramos!
I welcome Yoann with open arms. He’s lovely.
I’m a little bummed Cesc is still on the list. Eh. He just doesn’t do anything for me. But ohhhh Yoann. *wipes away a bit of drool* I do so love it when ballers strip to their undies
.
I never was that into the ramos anyway, but why no nando?????!!!!! Seriously he can’t do much more. On a side note why isn’t TOTTI in hot hall of fame. He’s just as deserving as any of the others, especially raul. Please kickette put me out of my misery. Nice to see iker is still number 1. He’s far too young for the HOF yet.
Kickette, i’m beginning to think my dear Fernando will never make it on the list. You say he will every time, and yet it never happens. I will agree on the addition of Yoann and the removal of the Ramos though, so points there.
Bienvenue, Yoann!
No Nando again? Seriously what does he have to do to get on to this list? I’d like to know on the off chance I might be passing Melwood and I could leave a little list of things that Nando should do to get oneo that list of yours. Thanks for putting Lashes on the F5
Yoann. Mmmmm. Gorgeous and always has his top off. No sign of the devils work ie, dun dun Duuuunnnnn BASE LAYERS *gasps*
I think ive jsut fallen in loe with him.
but own hargreaves? wheres my frankie?!
Kickette Nando is destined for the finest 5, ok Nando worshippers we still have work to do!! on the upside this guy is definatley f5 material!
I approve wholeheartedly! I’m not crushing on Lashes myself but he is such a hunk of a man with the right attitude and awesome skillz that he definitely deserves to be up there. Also, I’m so happy to see Xabi is still there too…bye bye Sergio!
Ms Kickette! What is with the removal of The Ramos? I was certain it’d be Xabi and his ginger facial fuzz that would get the chop. Stubble is one thing, but when it starts turning whiskery someone needs to stop it, you know, send out the right message of zero tolerance and all that!
Nice one, Dreamie!