February 3rd, 2009

Finest Five 3.1: Welcome Yoann Gourcuff

image

Please welcome our new addition to the Finest Five list*: 22-year-old Yoann Gourcuff, an attacking midfielder currently playing for Bordeaux, on loan from AC Milan.

Here’s why he’s joined our illustrious sizzle list:

image

It’s quite simple, really. Yoann is a multi-million euro earning athlete with a French accent and eyelashes that make Bambi ready to smack a bitch. He is single, 6’1” tall and is completely comfortable with removing his clothes in a public arena, and if we’re not mistaken, he also takes great delight in doing so.

imageimage

 

 

 

 

DEPARTING FROM THE LIST:
image
Sergio Ramos. Sergio, please know that we will always hold a special place in our hearts for you.  Your love of pastel colours, man bags, nose jobs in triplicate. Perhaps one day soon we’ll see you again on our list. In the meantime, give us back our damn lip gloss.

BUBBLING UNDER:
Fernando Torres. He’s one of our favourite cuties, but despite the constant petitioning and tireless work of his many fans to get him added to our list, this honour has yet elluded dear Nando. He will get there, Kickettes.  We’re just not sure when. However, if anyone can provide us with a Nando-with-facial hair image, it would expediate the process considerably.

Owen Hargreaves. We’d love to have some quasi-English representation on the F5 list, and OH is steadily moving up our love list.  Will this be his year?

Link: Finest Five 3.0
Link: Bobby Boswell vs the Finest Five
Link: The Original Finest Five List

*We’re reposting our caveat from our last update: Let us remind both our newer readers and the Kickette hardcore alike that the Finest Five is a personal, ‘of the moment’ list, not a permanent one.  A player being moved off the list doesn’t mean we no longer acknowledge his physical/facial abilities, just that we’re crushing for the moment on another. On the other hand, The Hot HOF is a permanent list which recognizes those who have served their teams/countries well and deserve something more formal on the mantelpiece.

Related Posts with Thumbnails

67 Responses to “Finest Five 3.1: Welcome Yoann Gourcuff”

  1. 'TorresNubianQu says:

    kickette when will my boo Nando be on the FF he's like one of the hottest players in the EPL rite nw….thank heavens ramos has been replaced cos i dont find him attractive watsoever….i think Frank Lampard should be in their tooo cos damn he's been looking rather delicious this season ;-….am baffled why cesc is on their…not attractive not even one lil bit :-( congrats to Yoann cos hes fione!!

  2. xXfootballFanaticXx says:

    hmmmm anybody thought about bojan? xx

  3. xXfootballFanaticXx says:

    come on……where’s the lovely ‘El Nino’? xx

  4. xhanna08x says:

    Aww poor Sergio :( No Nando again? Seriously what more does he need to do to make the list? I cant believe it, I’m devastated :( :( :(

  5. Dreamgirl says:

    Not many ballers (not counting managers) can sustain a whole thread of garbeling, adoring Kickettes without making a single appearance on the pitch.Owen can:D If that is not good enough for FF, oh well.

  6. aristeia says:

    Look, Serie A is where it's at. Nando needs to be put in, I'd never argue over that, but seriously… c'mon: <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/aMSOuPQNS9Q&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="never"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/aMSOuPQNS9Q&hl=en&fs=1&quot; type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="never" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> Regardless, welcome Yoann– mmmm… you are soooo welcome. Sorry Serg, but you should have left the nose alone. Also, stalwarts like Totti & Del Piero neeeeeed to be in there. Of course, it is your list Kickette. I guess we'll just have to bombard you with delicious examples…

  7. Rebecca says:

    Serg’s leaving, finally! The top three is perfect now, but I can’t choose a number one, they all deserv the top spot!

  8. Stephanie?sBojan says:

    ooh, Lashes! Yes! While I agree with Lucy about Xabi's ginger beard, I have to say that the removal of The Ramos was a correct decision in every way. He was getting along for far too long on not his looks. he's an uggo and his new nose definitely did not help. As much as I do love Lashes (so so so much and I do have a new found appreciation for the French) It does sadden me to see Cesc slip down the list.

  9. DC says:

    I think this is my favorite Finest Five since the existence of Finest Five in Kickette.

  10. Mrs Mark Hudson says:

    Thank god Sergio has gone!! It was about timee!! And hello Mr .Gourcuff!! Good move Kickette :)

  11. Ali says:

    Lashes……comme ci, comme ca. And for sergio :( Although lashes does understand the importance of postgame clothing removal, so I guess it's ok. Anyways just to spice things up, Guti for HOF! He's hot, you all know it. Dont lie to yourselves. He has the most beautiful eyes in Spain. That's a fact. Ask Rafa B. And his skillz are brillz.

  12. striker says:

    yes!!! Yoann!!!

  13. Anniemay says:

    Basically, I agree with Aristeia (many thanks for that video of Matri, from which I’m still recovering my breath!) Yoann is lovely; he deserves to be on the list just for his famous goal celebration alone. If more players realised they could get onto the list in that way, maybe they would all do it – so much the better for all of us. Totti would definitely be on top for me; also, hope Nando does make it soon, he is so cute. Yes, Candide, let’s make sure Xabi stays on the list!

  14. Natalia'9 says:

    Nando should get in..

  15. justlikexabi says:

    I don’t see anything in Yoann, but a lot of ladies love him, and I’m not compalining as long as Xabi’s in the list.

  16. lose that girl says:

    If we only knew that all it took to climb into the FF list is to strip off to your y-fronts!

    In that case, *sobs* my Owen will never move up from the bubbling under category. He rarely removes his top let alone anything else.

    But thanks for the mention. He’s #1 on my top 5 regardless of what anyone else thinks.

    lose that girl blog

  17. Avenath says:

    Welcome, Yoann…but, why can’t why Nando get in?!…i think he’s done more than enough to be there…maybe he needs to take off his clothes more..yeah, i think that’s what he (i mean, we) really needs…

  18. FootballerChick43 - says:

    Yoann must mean "yummy" in French. Because he deffo is. I most deffo approve!!! The F5 list is also lacking some German blood. Christoph Metzelder, anybody?

  19. Geordie Lover says:

    Maybe this hottie can make the list

    http://fc.barcelona.com/victor_valdes

    HE IS SO YUM-O <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/lol.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="LOL" style="border:0;" />

  20. Taru says:

    Yoann is cute. But I don’t understand how Xabi is on the list -Sergio is so much hotter than him!

  21. Michele says:

    RAMOS! Noooo. He’s still #1 in my bed.

  22. bonjour and welcome monseur Gourcuff!!!!you are one fine underwear exposing,bambi lashed jock

  23. Jo says:

    Congratulations, Yoann.  There’s a thread dedicated to his unclothed splendor in the Player Gossip section of the Community.  Callie and the other ladies are doing a fine job!

  24. lesli says:

    highly deserve it. he just melt heart.i mean mine.

  25. Jo says:

    Forgot to add my support for the always delicious Owen!  The surgeries went well and he’s expected back in August.

  26. Megan Loves Rafeal says:

    Wow The Newbie is HOT!… I Love Rafeal Da Silva..Young, Cute and an Amazing Footballer!

  27. Allana says:

    Perfect choice!

  28. real_fan88 says:

    Isn't it about time the gorgeous Miguel Torres from Real Madrid gets on the finest five list??

  29. ThunderGirl says:

    Adios, Sergio… Bonjour, Yoann!!! Well done, Kickette. He is a great addition to the Finest Five!

  30. LizB (Mrs. Vucinic) says:

    Camille, I agree with the Metzelder idea, but honestly he should just skip F5 and go right to Hot HOF.

  31. Candide says:

    Oh thank god Xabi is still on the list! and I'm so glad sergio is finally gone. and I second the move to take Cesc off, I just don't see it. but overall I think Kickette has made a good choice, "Lashes" is the perfect addition!

  32. Dani.Mrs José says:

    I agree Nando should be on the list he has to be one of the Hottest players in the EPL ! glad Yoann is there though and please please please do not i repeat do not put Owen Hargreaves on this list ! so far it has stayed and should stay as a list for foriegners i.e Spanish French and Paraguyan !

  33. SpaceCowgirl says:

    I have to disagree re Yoann. He always looks like he's wearing mascara. And thats not a good thing!

  34. lissette13 says:

    Jayyyyyyyyyyyyyy

  35. lissette13 says:

    SCowgirl – I think that 2. But don't worry its a natural source (which I'll love to have) of mascara. As long as he doesn't pluck his eyebrows like Bitchnaldo, I'm fine with him.

  36. Maritza004 says:

    Torres!!!

  37. Camille says:

    Oh Thank God Ramos is off the list. I support the inclusion of Torres and Hargreaves, but won't someone think of Christoph Metzelder?!?!

  38. Camille says:

    Oh my God, what you guys talking about, I need Xabi's beard to live.

  39. FirstTeamCoach says:

    Ok, controversal here, but if all it takes to make the FF5 is to remove clothes surely Cris should be back on it. He is rarely fully dressed! Yay for Owen just bubbling under.

  40. autumnmaple101 says:

    Swoon….welcome dear Yoann…he makes a worthy, much worthier addition to the list than Ramos.

  41. Rummy says:

    for the love of all that is HOLY did you SEE Nando's post match interview the other night? i direct your attention here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CP9glFq1MU and here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJF8mwluieI ACK! with the disabled kids?! come on!

  42. Dee13 (mrs m metze) says:

    camille, i used to support the idea of christoph metzelder being in the F5, but alas, he is not everyone's cup of tea… besides LizB is right, he doesn't need to waste his time there, just go right to the HOF where he belongs… ;) yoann is an improvement however… but whatevs, can't knock kickette for liking who she likes… ;)

  43. Callie says:

    <img src="http://i317.photobucket.com/albums/mm363/callie0581/lashes%20gourcuff/n849559741_768438_264.jpg&quot; alt="Photobucket" border="0"> Le cinq plus beaux! Nous sommes tellement heureux de gagner une place dans la liste des beaux goss. Merci beaucoup

  44. Baby Freya (Mrs Arbe says:

    I second everyone who wants Cesc bumped off, no offence Cesc but you're injured and losing cuteness fast.

  45. Baby Freya (Mrs Arbe says:

    Goodbye Ramos, Hello Lashes! Wow, definately one for the Finest Five! Again, dammit for Nando not making it! But he will Kickette! I'm going to scour the internet for Nando mit facial hair!!!! And wowzer to OH for bubbling under! Go you Owen! Love him so him, he definately deserves a place! BTW, when is Captain Iker joining the Hot HOF? His entrance is well overdue!

  46. Tres Bien says:

    I guess it's time to (re)start…. Alex Del Piero and Francesco Totti for the HOF. When I get a chance, photos will be up in the Serie A thread (and I believe the IBA thread has been rekindled with some ADP.)

  47. carly says:

    I'm liking the F5, even if Iker does nothing for me. But they're all nice tall dark and handsome men :) You'll never please everyone Kickette, so we should all just be glad that there is such a place where we can make our own personal F5s and not be jugded by it. (or at least that was the principle)

  48. Lucy says:

    Ms Kickette! What is with the removal of The Ramos? I was certain it'd be Xabi and his ginger facial fuzz that would get the chop. Stubble is one thing, but when it starts turning whiskery someone needs to stop it, you know, send out the right message of zero tolerance and all that!

  49. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Yoann is a worthy of F5 status, any man that removes his clothes that often has to be on the list. Glad to see Xabi clinging on to his no.5 spot, but I cannpt see the Cesc attraction. I think he should be bumped off for Ken-Ron.Buh bye Sergio, you had a good run and I'll always love your flicky hair and dedication to shirt removal.Can't see why Nando or Owen deserve a place though.

  50. carly says:

    I'm liking the F5, even if Iker does nothing for me. But they're all nice tall dark and handsome men :) You'll never please everyone Kickette, so we should all just be glad that there is such a place where we can make our own personal F5s and not be jugded by it. (or at least that was the principle)

  51. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Yoann is a worthy of F5 status, any man that removes his clothes that often has to be on the list. Glad to see Xabi clinging on to his no.5 spot, but I cannpt see the Cesc attraction. I think he should be bumped off for Ken-Ron.Buh bye Sergio, you had a good run and I'll always love your flicky hair and dedication to shirt removal.Can't see why Nando or Owen deserve a place though.

  52. LoveLamps says:

    Just when I was thinking the main page had returned to sanity, I see this. Seriously? Still no Frank? Having one of his best seasons EVER, looking absurdly hot and Kickette is obsessed with evil Elen and still no FF. You know, I'm really beginning to think this site is not for me.

  53. Nicole says:

    great job kickette. yoann makes me happy and other things, but let's just stick with happy…

  54. Erin says:

    Well, my FF and Kickette's don't correspond exactly, but I am quite happy to see Yoann replace The Ramos! Definitely more appealing IMO. :)

  55. lose that girl says:

    LL — you said it. Hope next time there's some Brits in the FF. Just my opinion, gals. *dons tin foil hat*

  56. XOBarcaBabyOX says:

    : ( NO ramos!

  57. sbhardy says:

    I welcome Yoann with open arms. He’s lovely.

  58. LizB (Mrs. Vucinic) says:

    I’m a little bummed Cesc is still on the list. Eh. He just doesn’t do anything for me. But ohhhh Yoann. *wipes away a bit of drool* I do so love it when ballers strip to their undies :D .

  59. suzie says:

    I never was that into the ramos anyway, but why no nando?????!!!!! Seriously he can’t do much more. On a side note why isn’t TOTTI in hot hall of fame. He’s just as deserving as any of the others, especially raul. Please kickette put me out of my misery. Nice to see iker is still number 1. He’s far too young for the HOF yet.

  60. livealittle says:

    Kickette, i’m beginning to think my dear Fernando will never make it on the list. You say he will every time, and yet it never happens. I will agree on the addition of Yoann and the removal of the Ramos though, so points there.

  61. mandanicole says:

    Bienvenue, Yoann!

  62. Sarah says:

    No Nando again? Seriously what does he have to do to get on to this list? I’d like to know on the off chance I might be passing Melwood and I could leave a little list of things that Nando should do to get oneo that list of yours. Thanks for putting Lashes on the F5 :D Yoann. Mmmmm. Gorgeous and always has his top off. No sign of the devils work ie, dun dun Duuuunnnnn BASE LAYERS *gasps*

  63. Becca says:

    I think ive jsut fallen in loe with him.
    but own hargreaves? wheres my frankie?!

  64. Paris says:

    Kickette Nando is destined for the finest 5, ok Nando worshippers we still have work to do!! on the upside this guy is definatley f5 material!

  65. Venice says:

    I approve wholeheartedly! I’m not crushing on Lashes myself but he is such a hunk of a man with the right attitude and awesome skillz that he definitely deserves to be up there. Also, I’m so happy to see Xabi is still there too…bye bye Sergio!

  66. Lucy says:

    Ms Kickette! What is with the removal of The Ramos? I was certain it’d be Xabi and his ginger facial fuzz that would get the chop. Stubble is one thing, but when it starts turning whiskery someone needs to stop it, you know, send out the right message of zero tolerance and all that!

  67. lose that girl says:

    Nice one, Dreamie!