August 31st, 2012
Five Hours Left: Transfer Window Winners & Losers Thus Far
Kickettes, let’s give pause and evaluate all the cray that’s already occurred on this last day of the summer 2012 transfer window.
T-minus 5 hours and several odd minutes…!
[Ed Note: The information in this proper Kickette assessment is updated as it stands now, 17.45 GMT]
Winners (tie): Man City & Tottenham
Getting Javi Garcia and Maicon is sure to boost the blue side of Manchester’s overall hot quotient. And Tottenham having one of the French NT’s top five hottest players (Hugo Lloris) in their starting eleven alongside Moutinho almost makes us forget about the sad departure of Sylvie. Almost.
Snatching Victory From The Jaws Of Defeat: QPR?
Lost Joey Barton, who is still a bit of an ass but a quasi good looking, doting daddy one at that, and occasionally handy for a free kick. To make up for it they picked up Real Madrid’s Esteban Granero, who looked thrilled to be there. The big news for QPR though has to be the incredible landing of Julio Cesar from Inter. We mentioned this earlier, but the weirdness of this (and that delicious video) bear repeating.
Dispatch Your Typing Fingers & Be On The Hunt For: Everton’s Bryan Oviedo
Google him, imagine him playing for the Toffees with short hair.
Reject to Reluctant Hero: Andy Carroll, Liverpool to West Ham
The out of favour Liverpool striker initially rejected a loan offer from West Ham, but having realised he stood as much chance of getting picked for his club’s starting eleven as one of our staffers, he decided to join the Hammers after all. Will he and Carlton Cole strike fear into the hearts of EPL defenders? Well, they say anything can happen in football.
Too Much Win For The Window: Arsenal & Fulham
Dimitar Berbatov might not have appeared anywhere but United bench recently but those nimble little tootsies always liked London. Expect good things when he slips into the applause-worthy fitted white shirt of Fulham.
Michael Essien from Chelsea to Arsenal? We knew Arsene’s boys were looking a little timid in the midfield but never in our wildest dreams would we have expected the Ghanian to turn up and ruffle some Adorkable feathers. This will be… interesting. Particularly when he slips into the kit of gloom.
Risky Business: Nicklas Bendtner, Juventus
Now you know we love Bendy. But when we spotted him in his natty suit/polo combo, prior to signing for the Italian champs, we assumed they’d had too much champagne. Or we’d had too much champagne. Or both. His record on and off the pitch over the last couple of seasons has been patchy at best, while Juve have just dragged themselves back to the top of the table from the depths of despair. Still, we’re sure they know what they’re doing. Gulp.
Cheese Grating Abs Still In Need Of A Home: Kenwyne Jones
He’s a former Finest Five-r, FFS! English clubs, you better snap this fit footballer up before we do. This tall Trinidadian’s cheekbones are unparalleled. His trademark goal celebration is a back flip, and who doesn’t love a man with a little pitch flair?