June 8th, 2010

Flashing Footballers: Name Those Mantylines

Damn, unidentified-but-easily-guessable-homie, those visible panty/mantylines are so tight your hamstrings are trying to quit your bum. Images via Getty Images Europe/AFP Photos.

Similar to the popular 1950′s game show, Name That Tune, we’re challenging our Kickette contestants to name and shame as many ‘baller backsides as humanly possible.

So, who’s ready to show-off their superior mental molestation skills by ID’ing round 1′s rump?

An even better front shot awaits. Drum roll please….

Portugal World Cup thighs


It’s everyone’s favourite front wedgie extraordinaire – Cristiano Ronaldo!

Bonus Round Question: does either shot detract from his otherwise delectably crispy bacon for you?

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42 Responses to “Flashing Footballers: Name Those Mantylines”

  1. MrsSexyMexy says:

    Got no problems with the tan, but these pics just look nasty somehow. Ugh. I actually like him, loved that shower pic, booty looked so good there! :)

  2. dcubetcha says:

    i honestly thought that was a black player from the back. needs to chill with the tanning. but we knew that.

  3. brunette says:

    Well, http://bit.ly/9TJDwd—-Meet” rel=”nofollow”>,http://bit.ly/9TJDwd—-Meet Adult FriendFinder members — Over 30 Million Members

  4. shay says:

    Thank you Kickette! Love CRon and his wedgie!! Tan looks real to me.

  5. Smiley_Marley says:

    All I can say is EW! Think my brain just exploded in disgust!

  6. MissHottie123 says:

    How come I didn't see that one. I should have known it with that fake tan. God I hate him. My eyes and my brain are officially now mad at me. Please someone get me something to clean my eyes and if possible my brain with. There should have been a warning or something!


  7. GG says:

    You know I'm actually upset with myself that I knew that…. arrrrgh can't stomach the guy… why oh why hasn't Lippi brought Borriello with to South Africa sob sob sob…for all of forever…

  8. Merel says:

    Douchebag extraordinaire that's right.

  9. Rusty (Mrs Clemens F says:

    Hey CRon, I never need to see your underwear. And even though he's Portuguese and lives in Spain, his tan still looks fake to me.

  10. Karin C. says:

    he should do a mandatory community service: PORN MOVIES!

    thank you!

  11. GoonerGal says:

    I knew it! My eyes hurt now tho.

  12. caitanya says:

    As a portuguese team supporter, i know their training gear colors so i knew it was someone portuguese. i figured it wouldn't be someone like bruno alvez, because the most obsessed over tuga is cron.

    I love the front wedgie shot. I saw that on the FIFA website. I bet he did that on purpose. lol

    Now if we can somehow get higuain to do the same thing … :-P

  13. c9 says:

    Seriously, that was too easy ;P Lovely pic kickette, really made my day!!!!

  14. cr9 lover says:

    The easiest guess i have ever had to make, those sexy legs, had to be cr9.

  15. Barcelista says:

    Am I the only one who doesn’t get the CR9 obsession? Please explain what is so great about him cos I REALLY don’t get it!!! Think he is way to gel-haired and a “bit” over-tanned for me (so not my type) but perhaps it’s just the attitude that is ruining it?? It can’t just be the fact that he plays for Real Madrid, cos didn’t even like him back in the old ManU days. So if anyone can/will – please explain!! :)

    • Margarida says:

      He’s a beautiful and talented man. And no he is not TOO tanned. Remember he is Portuguese living in Spain. The majority of us have a nice effortless tan. Maybe he’s too dark for your preference, but theres nothing wrong with his complexion. You just like them pale. That’s all

    • C16 says:

      Well, he’s got a hot bod ;)
      That’s one of the reasons why I like him.

      • Barcelista says:

        Haha fair enough ;) Perhaps I’ll never get it.. But thanks for the answer anyway :D

        Guess I’ll just stick to my beloved Yoann and Barca boys (all of them – including Pep!) and of course the entire Gunner team ;) *Drooling big time*

    • Anonymous to You says:

      What a bizarre question…everyone has different tastes and it just so happens that you don't like this Portuguese flavour.

      • Barcelista says:

        First of all I had no intention of offending anyone – and hope I havn't :) The reason I asked was because I was trying to see if anyone could point out the hotness and perhaps make me change my mind.. There is so much in the media about him and thought it would be easier if I could see the hotness :) Don't think it's gonna happen though..

        Anyway my last BF was actually half portuguese half brazilian with a natural dark complexion and I though he was hot ;) so no it has nothing to do with CR9 being portuguese looking.. Just don't like over-tanned guys which I personally think he is.. And if you ladies remember CR9 back in the early Sporting days, he wasn't this dark..

        But hey it is all a matter of taste right? And if we all had the hots for the same guys a lot of people would probably end up alone.. So it's all just for the best I guess :)

        And if you look at my Q&A above I did also reach the same conclusion as you ladies did – that we have different taste.. Guess he'll never be a part of my hottie-team.. Again there is no need to be offended cos really didn't mean to offend anyone.. :) But thanks for the comments though :)

        • Barcelista says:

          *And with the Sporting comment I just meant to say that I think his tan looks fake.. Just in case anyone wondered..

  16. Margarida says:

    He's a beautiful and talented man. And no he is not TOO tanned. Remember he is Portuguese living in Spain. The majority of us have a nice effortless tan. Maybe he's too dark for your preference, but theres nothing wrong with his complexion. You just like them pale. That's all

  17. beri says:

    I got that one! Gees…I can spot his yummy tush anywhere!

  18. Lidoli says:

    Oh Dear! great pics!!! love that man!!!!

  19. C16 says:

    That was easy…

  20. [...] Flashing Footballers: Name Those Mantylines ? Kickette – Soccer … [...]

  21. Gaby says:

    Is it scary that I actually got it right?

  22. lorena_chanel says:

    Ohh you can tight my eyes I will still recognize those legs…that body,that face,eyes,smile,TAN,hair ,ABS!!! When will I move to Madrid…??!! :-(

  23. aristeia says:


    Lol @ the Bacon reference though. I know a few ladies who will be excited to see that!

  24. Alisha says:

    I got excited over nothing :( He is one footballer I just cannoy like

  25. Michaella says:

    I recognised his buttocks from the 4 years i spent being obsessed by his every move, did i really used to like that. It's times like this I question my optician, do i really have 20/20 vision?? xxx

  26. Missy says:

    Miss Kickette….that was easy! One of the most identifiable 'assets' on the planet!!!! You're going easy on us because its the Tuesday before the WC, right??

  27. rubyqueen says:

    mmmmmm hot from the front and the back.HOT HOT HOT.xxx

  28. Ella says:

    Only he could make me appreciate tighty-whitey underwear!

  29. Inés says:

    of course it had to be him! how didn't I recognize that booty?

  30. AlianzaLima says:

    guessed it by the incredibly veiny legs and awful colored cleats

  31. Before I clicked through, I thought it was Nani because the legs are so brown! LOL!

  32. Michelle says:

    Aaaah! Somebody break out the brain bleach!!