June 27th, 2011
Footballers & Festivals: A ‘How Not To’ Guide
The Fashion Police advise that if you see Andy Carroll, do not approach him. He is extremely confused.
It’s a far cry from the days when the more ‘senior’** members of the Kickette staff used to get a boost over the fence at Glastonbury from a random hairy bloke called Dave and then spent three days wandering around in circles looking for the main stage.
Models, TV stars and footballers now consider the English music festival scene an essential a part of their social calendar, much like getting turned away from The Box, and this weekend was no exception albeit with varying degrees of success.
Let’s have a look at their adventures, shall we?
Presumably the Rooney’s took this picture to remember what their wellies looked like when clean. Image via yfrog.
The most high profile visitors to Somerset this weekend were Coleen and Wayne Rooney, who kept us thoroughly entertained with their tweets about wellingtons before meeting Mumford & Sons and becoming embroiled in some sort of fracas.
This was a positive PR push compared to Andy Carroll’s efforts, though. The Liverpool man was spotted strolling the highways and byways of Glasto with current squeeze Stacey Miller. There was nothing too horrifying about this (unless you happen to be an Everton fan) except for Carroll’s attire. Sensibly realising his outfit was missing something, he then purchased a small straw trilby which he skilfully paired with a blue headscarf.
Would you buy a used car from these two? Thought not. Image via yfrog.
Finally, good news for Joey Barton, who we can confirm almost fangirled himself to death when his invite to meet hero Morrissey backstage at the festival turned out to be real. Having thrown down the gauntlet to the NME by offering some incisive reviews of the talent, JB tweeted first a pic of ‘the Master at work’, then one of (presumably) Master and Servant.
We love to see one of our own achieve a dream. But we’re not quite sure why the former Smiths frontman looks so panicked. Perhaps Joey’s just offered to share a post-gig cigar?