September 17th, 2008

Frank Lampard: Bronzed and Bedazzled

Oh, Lampsy. We love, but how you do challenge our emotions. 

image

image courtesy of BIG Pictures UK/KEYSTONE Press

Just one short day ago, you were rocking an insanely hot profile and looking yum.  Flash forward to your required post-CL win London nightclub celebratory festivities (Funky Buddha, of course), and we’‘re in a quandary. 

Well, actually there is little quandary.

You’re orange, sweetie. We have studied this photo, and still cannot ascertain the cause.  Bad lighting? Bad bronzer? St. Tropez fake bake gone wrong (and if so, when did you find the time? Is there a portable unit on the team bus?)  Is it a severe case of jaundice with a side of leatheritis coming on?  Please enlighten us.

Also: the rhinestone bedazzled shirt has not gone unnoticed.

Perhaps Phil Scolari has the answer:

“He is a midfielder and he arrives many times in front of goal and makes goals. He loves football. He is training hard every day. When you do this I think God helps you.“

There you have it, Kickettes.  Tangerine-tones are next to Godliness. 

cheers SA!

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46 Responses to “Frank Lampard: Bronzed and Bedazzled”

  1. anny says:

    I take a girl with jaundice, each month I’ll send some money for medical expenses, I did not know what that looked like jaundice was in a web page and a known resultaque commented me and adotamos girl and every month we send photos.
    http://www.jaundiceweb.com

  2. carly says:

    It's the white lips that are especially bugging me. Frank is just another one that always looks better in football gear.

  3. carly says:

    It’s the white lips that are especially bugging me. Frank is just another one that always looks better in football gear.

  4. TammyV says:

    I have to be honest… my first thought was “OMFG – He’s Alex Orange”

  5. Yasichelsea says:

    I LUvvvvvvvvvvvvve Him!

  6. AJ says:

    He looks hammered. Maybe he fell face first into a bowlful of fuzzy navels. ;)

  7. cheryl loves lamps says:

    orange or not he’s still lovely…….

  8. Becca says:

    Im Worried About Frank, How Can He Change From That To This in Two Days, I Blame Drink And Bad Lighting, Lets Hope Hes BackTo His Normal Self Soon!!

  9. Smurfette says:

    You're totally right Elise! It is tinted moisturizer! Plus you know that guys always put too much of everything on like cologne. His neck and the outer part of his ear isn't orange and he doesn't have those circles around his eyes. Hopefully it will wash off soon. Depending on what angle I look at my computer screen at he looks even more orange like an umpa lumpa!

  10. Dreamgirl says:

    I am not a fan but I don’t think any of us look much better after large amounts of alcohol. Didnt have him down as a liquid moisturiser kind of guy though so heres hoping he put that on in his state of stupor.

  11. TammyV says:

    I have to be honest… my first thought was “OMFG – He’s Alex Orange”

  12. Johnna says:

    That is a major shade of jaundice. And that shirt, *sigh* Frank, please quit letting Elen pick your clothes for you!!

  13. LoveLamps says:

    THE RAMOS and Lamps together at a Bedazzled party – now that's something to ponder. :)

  14. Sarah says:

    Oh dear. I wonder if he and The Ramos have Bedazzling parties together! (Ali, I'm hoping you show up with that picture, otherwise I sound slightly crazy!)

  15. Susie says:

    @ Ibracadabra

    The majority of Portuguese people are somewhat tan to begin with and dont turn orange when they take sun. Ive yet to see a pic of CR7 where he looks like a carrot.

  16. Jade says:

    although he does look orange somehow he still looks good!!! Frank could probably get away with anything!!!! I quite like the t-shirt!!!! It reminds me a little of rex from BB!! Lol

  17. You can go orange from eating too many carrots you know.
    http://www.steelgirl.com/carrot.htm

  18. SemiCharmed says:

    Hm, makes me think of the ribbon dancer for some reason

  19. Ibracadabra says:

    Fake tanning worked for CRon. 31 goals last season, Fat Frank is just taking notice. After all, Chelsea do often wear a neon yellowy/orange in their alternate kits…

  20. redscarf says:

    Frank is just another one that always looks better in football gear. I love him but I agree x1000.

  21. Moonie says:

    What makes you think its fake? I came back from my weekend in Manchester with a tan like that as well!! lol

  22. mandanicole says:

    i have mixed feelings on whether or not i like lamps, and moments like this do not help me indeciding. also, lolllll at the bedazzler link.

  23. SpaceCowgirl says:

    Heehee. Frank's been Tangoed!

  24. Genevieve Gourcuff says:

    Oh Frankie love. If you're going to wear tinted moisturiser on your face – which is never a good idea – please remember to blend it into your neck so you don't get the whole two-tone thing happening. And please never wear rhinestones ever ever again.

  25. Smurfette says:

    OMG Ali is his shirt pink too!? Ah I love the Ramos and his crazy ways! I also love Lamps and his crazy ways too. It just wouldn't be right if he was too perfect. But I must say the orange does make his gorgeous eyes pop! Hehe!

  26. aristeia says:

    He kind of looks dopey in this picture– haha, was this on the way in or the way out? B/c if this is post-inebriation maybe I can forgive him a little. None of us look that good after a night of boozing. At least to the un-boozed eye.

  27. Ali says:

    Ha Sarah,ok I'll post it but only because I don't want you to look crazy. I for one am a fan of bedazzlers. So much shiny for just 19.95! LL, can you imagine Lamps and THE RAMOS at a bedazzling party. Fabulous! And no worries about the orange, i'm sure at their parties THE RAMOS wouldn't mind teaching him appropriate tanning etiquette and techniques. <img src="http://i322.photobucket.com/albums/nn416/ali1730/El%20Ramos/PICT2868-1-1.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="Photobucket"> source: google

  28. Ali says:

    It's ok TFO, that picture is from the transitional years, I try to keep them hidden but I had to post for the sake of Sarah's mental reputation. Kickette, please don't let that picture have any influence on your thoughts about The Ramos remaining in FF..unless you have a penchant for bedazzled pink manly men. Thanks!

  29. The Fourth Official says:

    Ali, my goodness, I'm sorry, love, but Ramos looks like a big ugly girl in that picture. Is Frank experimenting with men's bronzer/foundation? Or Elen's?

  30. Anna (Frau Manuel Ne says:

    i still love ya, frankie

  31. Pau de Silva (aka Sa says:

    lol Ali! the cheap shinny comment totally made my day! aw! thanks Smurfette!! now I moving my head side do side making Lampsy to change his orangeness.. I agree Elise! HE IS BEAUTIFUL! HE DOESNT NEED ANYTHING IN HIS FACE! HE COULD BE NAKED AND STILL BE BEAUTIFUL (…) wait a second…. Ooh LoveLamps you always speaking with the truth! xoxo

  32. Pau de Silva (aka Sa says:

    Ode to Frankie Lampard: Dear Lampard, you could be red and I wouldnt care anything else; you could be orange and I ll defend you against Kickette ; you could even turn yellow!; and I love you like fat kids love marshmallow you could be green; but to me ,you are as beautiful as a god of Greece ;you could be turquese; but I will still dream of your kiss!; you could turn blue… but I still be true with you!

  33. Boston Red says:

    I was waiting for this after seeing it in the Daily Mail this morning. Do you think someone in the Chelsea locker room replaced his after shave with some self tanner? Haha… poor Frank.

  34. TammyV says:

    This is how I love Lampsy most.. lookin all goofy, and strange. I must say the only real problem is that although he is bedazzled his cloths fit and I hate it when that happens. Heis failure at life makes my world better

  35. LoveLamps says:

    Evil Elen is making him a sickly orange color. She MUST be stopped!

  36. Elise says:

    Not even a tinted moisturizer malfunction could hide Frank's hotness! And I love the outfit, too. Bedazzling and all! (Ali, I'm LMFAO about your love for the bedazzler- all that shiny for 19.95!! lol) Here's another pic and the lighting makes him look even oranger, but you can clearly see that it was a tinted moisturizer that did it. If he'd been doing a spray tan or something like that I'm pretty sure he would have done his neck, too, but if you've seen a man put lotion or after-shave on then you know the last thing they do is smooth it out over their cheeks and their fingertips brush the tops of their ears. That's what happened here, I'm sure. He probably didn't think it was going to show up that much. What I don't understand is how someone who is *that* beautiful already thinks he needs anything else like bronzer in the first place. Oh Frankie.

  37. linz826 says:

    (drops jaw) Okasy so i really am going against every fashionista here, but i am pretty much always blinded by love and right now, i don't care if Frank is orange and wearing a bedazzled shirt, he's F*CKING GORGEOUS and i love him!!! :)

  38. Georgina Best says:

    I heard you could turn orange from eating too many carrots http://www.steelgirl.com/carrot.htm

  39. FirstTeamCoach says:

    Never done anything for me. maybe its very nasty tinted moisturiser

  40. TammyV says:

    This is how I love Lampsy most.. lookin all goofy, and strange. I must say the only real problem is that although he is bedazzled his cloths fit and I hate it when that happens. Heis failure at life makes my world better

  41. Pau de Silva (aka Sambu) says:

    lol Ali! the cheap shinny comment totally made my day! aw! thanks Smurfette!! now I moving my head side do side making Lampsy to change his orangeness.. I agree Elise! HE IS BEAUTIFUL! HE DOESNT NEED ANYTHING IN HIS FACE! HE COULD BE NAKED AND STILL BE BEAUTIFUL (…) wait a second…. Ooh LoveLamps you always speaking with the truth! xoxo

  42. Pau de Silva (aka Sambu) says:

    Ode to Frankie Lampard: Dear Lampard, you could be red and I wouldnt care anything else; you could be orange and I ll defend you against Kickette ; you could even turn yellow!; and I love you like fat kids love marshmallow you could be green; but to me ,you are as beautiful as a god of Greece ;you could be turquese; but I will still dream of your kiss!; you could turn blue… but I still be true with you!

  43. FootballerChick43 - "Mrs.Ballack" says:

    I’m with Smurfette – though the orange is TERRIBLE, it does make his eyes look effing gorgey. And at least he looks okay.. when you overlook the sequins.

  44. Erin says:

    HA!!! “WAG” tanner is rubbing off on Frank.