November 5th, 2007

Frank Lampard: Socket Watcher


Please take good note of Elen Rives facial expression. Frank Lampard’s fiancee appears to be working a gloat, no?

We’re going to hazard a guess it’s because Frank reportedly got a tad jealous of the attention Elen was receiving whist the two were out at a party this weekend. After Lamp’s shenanigans in Vegas, perhaps Elen is feeling coveted and glad she put the engagement ring back on.

Wait – before we continue, we just have to add that the party was for the launch of a makeup line.  Frank? Why are you there, mate?

Anyhoo, Frank didn’t like the flirt-vibes coming from Brendan Cole (one of the stars of Strictly Come Dancing), who was giving Elen the once-over at the bar.  Frank put his arm around Elen, pulled her closer and told Brendan to put his eyes back in his sockets.  Cut to an uncomfortable silence, with crickets chirping, before Brendan nodded.  Lamps then gave a ‘chuckle’.  And, scene.

Not sure if Frank’s chuckle was to break the tension or if it’s part of his Chelsea Man Cry of Warning.

We may never know; Elen’s skirt and belt combination were arrested for extensive fashion offenses shortly afterwards.


pics courtesy of famous
Link: Lamps Rage at Dirty Dancer

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31 Responses to “Frank Lampard: Socket Watcher”

  1. lollipop says:

    Vile, ugly, desperate woman. Frank`s played away from home how many times now?? I can`t remember now and i`ve run out of fingers and toes to count on!! He`ll do it again too, because he can get away with it..and she`d probably forgive him AGAIN. The woman is so hungry for a rich, famous lifestyle, why doesn`t she get off her arse and get a job?! Nah, forget that..sshe`d rather bash out a few kids, get married to afore-mentioned serial cheat, get divorced within 2 year and HEY PRESTO!! Made for life!! Ready to move onto the next millionaire no doubt. Not bad for a bird who came to this country without a penny to her name. Then again if Frankie came onto me one night, i wouldn`t say no!! He`s GAWJUS!! Way too fit for old Elen Fish-face!!

  2. Patrycja says:

    You know how they say that couples start to look alike the longer they are together – well – in the picture above they could practically be twins.  Look closely at the nose(will reserve further comment as I myself am not flawless), the deer caught in headlights look and the awfully fake smiles.

  3. carly says:

    take these hideous pictures away, please!!

    My eyes are burning, my stomach is turning, I think I might be about to write a song about how awful this is…

  4. michelle says:

    Oh my goodness, that’s a sparkly vest?  I TOTALLY thought it was tweed!

  5. courtney says:

    i honestly just don’t see anything attractive in elen, her face always looks stretched out and more plastic-like than alex curran’s which is quite the feat!  everytime i see a picture of this woman i wonder what anyone sees in her.  if you want to look at a pretty WAG i suggest abi, cheryl, or carly…elen is just a no-go in my book.

    and frank’s vest, wow, he could be spotted 10 miles away in a snow storm with something like that.  i don’t think the 80’s would even clam something that bad.

  6. linz says:

    okay, so the gold sweater-vest not his best, but i love frank so he can wear anything ugly and i’d still think he was sexy.  But Elen, one word: hideous—the outfit, her facial expression in the first pic—horrid (covers eyes). He needs to find a new woman.

  7. brandy says:

    Goodness. Where to even begin on this tragedy.
    Elen looks like an amphibian, or one of the many adepts of plastic surgery running around in so cal (isn’t weird how they all come out of surgery looking the same?!?!).
    Frank looks like a rodent.
    Her ensemble is SO BAD. SO SO SO SO BAD!
    Need I even comment on the fact that he has on a shiny gold vest?
    Ugh. That is one ugly and awfully dressed couple. How is it that I have MILLIONS less than them and I can manage a nice outfit pretty much everytime I walk out of the house? I don’t understand…

  8. katie says:

    Wow! Don’t they just look the image of happiness in that second picture?!

  9. tammyv says:

    I LOVE these two… God, they are always good for some drama, soapy fun and horrific fashion diasters.  Seriously, what the F is up with their obesession with shiney clothes? I am does everything have to have a sparkle, her shirt, his golden threaded vest?

    God, they are the best…Frankie, Els.. stay yourselves forever!

    BTW – my bot-blocker word says it all about them “hot86” Those outfits might ahve been hot back in ‘86, not a great year for fashion.

  10. Jacey says:

    Oh I get it! She was trying to save some of his hard earned cash by trotting out the bridesmaid’s shoes.
    So thrifty!

  11. LoveLamps says:

    There are not words to describe Elen’s outfit.  And yet, Frank is still with her.  Not long now before he demands fashion sense and calls me!  I’ve read Tim Gunn’s book Frank – CALL ME!

  12. Pau says:

    <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="ohh" style="border:0;" /> ….. <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="grrr" style="border:0;" /> …..WHY? (I

  13. Johnna says:

    He doesn’t always look very nice in his jeans. ANd I love the whole “I couldn’t be bothered to button my buttons correctly” look too. Why does he have to ruin it with the vest? (And god… that belt he always INSISTS on wearing.)

  14. tammyv says:

    Elen looking fantastic (simple, clean, well-put together):…

    Not sure if this will work but it is from the WAGs messageboard.:…

  15. Wtf? says:

    Money can’t buy you taste…that goes for women and clothing!

    You can take the villager out of the village but you cant take the village out of the villager!

    I yet to see her in a half acceptable outfit!

    Lampard, stop being a tight-ass and get your fiancee a stylist!

  16. Gina says:

    LOL Tammy, that vegas outfit is where it finally dawned on me that Lamps can work them jeans! He doesn’t do much for me generally, but is definitely drool worthy in the manly figure dept (or whatever we are allowed to call it in a family publication) <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="big surprise" style="border:0;" />

  17. Elise says:

    Okay, so it’s not just me.  Being relatively new to this WAG-watching thing, I thought that Elen was generally regarded as hot, but I have seriously struggled to see it.  Now I freely admit that I’m ridiculously jealous and was trying to factor that in, but this woman is just…I’m going to say it…she’s ugly.  There’s this Spanish woman named Charo- I think she’s a comedienne or something and must be like 120 years old, but especially in this pic, Elen is looking just like her!  WTF Frank?  Anyway, about Mr. Lampard himself- that vest is just SUCH an unbelievably bad choice- and why? the all-black thing underneath would have been quite sexy- but I’d look at vests like that all day as long as they contained Frank Lampard! lol

  18. tammyv says:

    This is why we love Frank and Elen… no one (or no couple) can deliver a full-on, tactastic, fashion diaster like these two. Individually they are (usually) bad, but together God, together they are a fashion apocalypse.  Brilliant..

    Notice in the second pic.. Elen matched her shoes to her diasterous outfit. She planned this ahead and honestly has wore it before. 

    This makes the second time in as months that she has re-worn an outfit.  Oh Elen, get your ass to Bond street and start spending your man’s cash like we know you can!  You’re our little Spanish Shopping Machine, damn it! Now, earn the title. 

    God if they ever broke-up I would be devistated! Who would entertain us like these two?

    Remember the outfit he wore with Vegas-bunny?  jeans (that fit), white button-down, navy blazer (that fit), distressed boots and a tasteful belt.  God, why?  I need Lamps looks goofy and in ill-fitting clothes and Elen look wacky in way too expensive clothes.  I need it like a crackhead needs the rock!

  19. xira says:

    Money can get you anything but good fashion sense.

  20. Johnna says:

    Also… why does Frank always ruin a good outfit. Frank, take a notice. Get dressed. When you feel you need to add one more piece of clothing/shiny belt/ugly shoes… just don’t. Just leave it. Please for the love of God.

  21. Elise says:

    Right, well, I just bothered to check out the second pic and I see the shirt is green, the shoes brown, so I can maybe see why he thought it was okay…and maybe under different lighting it looked much better.  Actually, wait…wait…yeah I’m kinda liking it now…lol Could be because he just looks so damned hot in the second pic.  I always think he looks better when he’s not giving the ‘pose smile’.  In fact he looks the best when he’s wrapped around JT (or pretty much in any proximity to JT) in some quality man-love.  LOL

  22. Johnna says:

    Oh. my. god. I just feel so sorry for the kids. Luna and Isla are going to rebel when they are 7 and tell Elen she’s not allowed to pick out clothes for them OR be seen with them. Someone, please think of the children.

    Frank, dear. No one wears vests. ESPECIALLY gold vests. Amd if you are going to fake a smile for a picture, at least make an effort.

    No words on Elen. She’s always looked like trash and this is nothing new. Ugh.

  23. Patty says:

    Oh, god, I’m overwhelmed.  Let’s just concentrate on the vest, shall we?  First of all, men under the age of 60 do not wear sweater vests.  An exception, perhaps, for Tiger Woods in tasteful black cashmere, if it’s a cool day on the links.  That’s *it*.  No, no, NO to sweater vests.  Secondly, GOLD-threaded sweater vests.  I think gold-threaded *anything* came and went in 1987.  Who dresses you, Frank?  If it’s her, then that’s double the reason to dump her (the first reason is obvious).  Frank, sweetie, you are at the peak of your career, your manliness, your athleticism, your earning potential.  Now is the time to strike while the iron is hot and find yourself a gorgeous, funny, smart woman who deserves you. I’m sure any number of such women hang about reading this blog.

  24. freddiegirl says:

    Sorry Lamps fans but I just don’t see anything attractive about either one.  He looks like Mad Magazine’s Alfred E. Newman with those ears and she looks like someone else already pointed amphibian.

  25. Anna says:

    I’m sorry to say, but Frank does look good

  26. Ella says:

    Oy Frank! I didn’t say you could keep that vest did I? Give it back!

    And Ms Rives.. or should I say Michael Jackson? Your face is a mess.

  27. paris says:

    What is she wearing she looks a complete mess, the colours dont work,that purple skirt and the shiny top are certainly not a great combination. A gold sweater vest Frank what were you thinking. This couple clearly need some style tips. Maybe I should go a bit easier not every guy can dress and look as good as STEVEN GERARD!!!!

  28. Sara says:

    I see that Frank bought the fish course with him…

  29. Monika says:

    It has been some time that I have seen them both wearing something that looked good on them. Don

    • I can’t agree more, I’ve seen more of their image in a magazine so far this few of the pics that I like.

      Its been a while since the last news I heard from them, do you guys have follow up update with them?

  30. Ally says:

    I don’t think she’s pretty at all. And why is her skin two-tone? Someone needs to learn how to apply bronzer. And that outfit is atrocious.