March 26th, 2008
French Bells for Wayne & Coleen
Details of the McRooney wedding are beginning to leak and it looks like this will be a French affair.
Those looking for tack, OTT and lap dancing guests, try not to panic. The setting may be in the classy and chic French Riviera environs, but chances are high that we will all get the WAGtastic wedding we have been dreaming of, one that dares to blow previous nuptials crazies out of the water.
A few basic deets:
- This will be a four day extravaganza, taking place between June 10 – 14 and it’s expected to cost about and it’s expected to cost about £3 million.
- Why so expensive? Well, for a start, guests will be flown to France via private jet. Factor in the cost of alcohol and you’re pretty much there.
- Coleen’s gown will be designed by Marchesa.
- The Beckhams have not been invited. Apparently, it’s a small guest list of 60 close friends and family, so unfortunately no chance we’ll be seeing Lady V in a jaunty hat.
- No official word on which of the McRooney family members will be onsite. You do know about the family situ, yes? Coleen’s cousin Natalie has gone batty after discovering she’s not been invited. Alas, she embarrassed the crap out of Coleen when she flashed her boobies at Col’s 21st birthday party. (Key quote? “I can’t stand Coleen after the way she’s behaved towards us. She clearly sees us as nothing but chavs who aren’t high class enough to go to her big day.”)
- Other family dramas from the past include a massive punch up between Wayne Rooney’s father and uncle at Coleen’s 18th.
Pray they can work things out before the big date. In the meantime, break out your French/English dictionary and start learning the key phrases, “I think I have alcohol poisoning” and “Where is the nearest spray tan retail establishment?”