January 4th, 2010

Gerard Pique: He’s So, Like, 2009

Pique Elephant Trunk

He may be gone, but his elephant tusk will never be forgotten.

As we reported some forgetful weeks back, Gerard Pique has a new love interest. The Barcelona defender recently admitted to” settling down” after bagging his First.Girlfriend.Ever. Try not to choke on this morning’s bendy mimosa straws as you laugh at the impossibleness of that last statement.

Unfortch, we must say it is so, because thanks to the roving eyes of one of our first-class traveling Kickettes, Pique and his galpal were spotted on a Delta flight from NYC to Barca before the New Year. Since we all secretly care a smidge, our spy detailed his lady friend for us:

She had dirty blonde, shoulder-length hair; blue eyes and was much shorter than him.  She was petite with a round face and pretty plain looking. She looked like his little sister.

That is, until they got hot and heavy in a cabin make-out sesh. All flight long. Cue Lionel Richie.

Oh, and outfit deets you ask? She: dark green rain boots, tee and jeans. He: khakis, Timberlands, silver puffa jacket and Blues-Brothers-type hat.

So the girlfriend bit was harsh news, but the attire situation was the final nail in our Vermaelen-hot coffin. As hard as it is to grapple with, we must bid adieu to Gerard Pique’s mouth since we now understand it is no longer Property of Kickette.

A few Q’s: When your fave footy star wifeys down, are you sad that he’s been plucked from the singles merry-go-round or happy that he’s happy (albeit lying through your teeth as you say that)? Are there any guys you’ll be leaving in the ’09 dust due to their recent unavailability? Or, do you turn your cheek (and web browser) to the fact that your lush fantasy crush has mediocre female arm candy because you know he could do better?

Better, as in, you. Obviously.

That's the shopping spiritFancy a bit of FendiKnow that this is a safe zone, Kickettes, where hugs and truffles are usually a-plenty. Except, not today, nor from us, since we’ll be nursing our wounds at the January sales in Rome.

With Roma’s Alessandro Malomo. Yes, he’s barely legal but the likelihood that he’s still single helps lift our spirits.  His lips and association with Totti don’t hurt either.

cheers V!

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48 Responses to “Gerard Pique: He’s So, Like, 2009”

  1. jen says:

    is this her? looks like a match and shes about 20 and is a rowist or something “http://www.facebook.com/people/Nuria-Sanchez-Nomdedeu/697420844#/profile.php?id=697420844″

  2. kenita says:

    isn’t pique’s gf nuria? she’s a petit blonde, that’s what i read on some spanish forums =/

  3. sfsf says:

    OMG!!!! what ( all I can say)

  4. Pamela says:

    So it seems that Pique spent the new year’s in New York with a girl, i dont even want to imagine what they did in the hotel room…Franky, I’m disappointed.

    I get immediately turned off when I find out that a footballer I like gets engaged, married or gets a gf..I hope my other Barza defender(Puyol) is still single..

    • Alisha! says:

      I don’t want to turn you off Puyol but i’m pretty sure he’smarried with kids…sorry…and great choice in defenders :)

      • HJ says:

        no! puyol is NOT married. he split up with his long-term gf in the summer and now he’s with some new gal. does anyone have news on the messi anotnella relationship? plz let me know!

  5. Rusty (Mrs Clemens Fritz) says:

    I do not care at all that Clemens Fritz has a girlfriend, especially since if I had a nickname, I’d have the same name as her.

    If he ever gets married, I’ll be happy for him.

    And for the record, the JFK-Barcelona Delta flight sucks. I’m jealous that he was in first class because my mother and I sat in coach (we paid less than $1200 for two round-trip tickets, the return flights on Air France flew through Paris) and there was no legroom whatsoever.

  6. Regiii says:

    Gosh, this Alessandro barely-legal-cutie could be Philou’s cousin!! or am i going completely crazy?
    he’s soooooo yummy!!!

  7. salad-sheffield says:

    she’s cute ! C(:
    I keep on tryin’ not to laugh … I’m still thinking bout his elephant tusk haha that is hilarious… ;p

  8. Oh I seem to be friends with Malomo on FB, I have to go and look through his profile. Strange that I havent done that more closely before.

    • LizB (Mrs. Vucinic) says:

      really Malin… you’ve been fb friends for HOW long? and you haven’t done a bit of snooping? *shakes head*

      • Liz, IKR? It’s been… well half a year maybe? And I havent even looked! He was in pictures with Totti and Philou, and even Brighi! I forget they are on the list really. Citro started talking to me asking when I would come to Rome “To meet me?” Gosh, I am so starstruck. Pathetic.

  9. Yasmin says:

    Maybe Pique had been with girls before, but never had a proper girlfriend?
    That’s the only way the above sentence could be true.

  10. Leila says:

    Frankly, when I find out a guy is taken, it totally kills the crush for me. Even though my crushes are completely platonic and I wouldn’t act on them, the fact that it would be absolutely and 100% impossible for the fantasy to come true kind of kills it. Also, how is this his first girlfriend when he dated pageant queen/bollywood actress back when he was at Manchester?

  11. Alisha! says:

    Alessandro is gorgeous and not much older than me :) And if my favourite footy stars get girlfriends or get married i’m generally happy for them like I’m ecstatic for Nando…he, Olalla and Nora make the perfect family but when I found out Bojan had a girlfriend I was heartbroken :( Still cannot believe that’s Pique’s FIRST girlfriend =O

  12. Top marks for the Kickette member who made this discovery. We are everywhere! :)

    • HJ says:

      yes, we salut you!but here’s the thing: why didn’t you take a picture, passionate kickette?i know you’re supposed to switch all phone off on a flight but com’on- it’s PK!

  13. SweetVito says:

    Normally I have a mentality of “If they stay together, she must be lovely and if they don’t, well then she wasn’t but hey they’re not together any more!”

    Weirdly, I was an Eva fan before an Iker fan so I always thought they should be together. No one since has/will live up to her standards. But then it must be tough dating a saint. :)

  14. Riya (Come on you Reds!) says:

    Wow this Alessandro guy is YUM.

    I’ve been in denial ever since Stevie and Nando got married. Actually I’m happy for Nando, he’s married to a lovely girl. Stevie could do better. Much better.

  15. agger♥lover says:

    his girlfriend better be cute and pocket sized damn it!!! if you’re going to be small go all out for god’s sake!! anyhoo….. that blonde kid is delish but as far as blondes with stiff hair goes i’d pick henderson every time :)

  16. chloe says:

    how old is alessandro?? he doesn’t have a Wiki page unfortunately. but he’s one blonde i’m liking.

    i don’t think puti’s gf is the one on his shoulders cos it says ‘dirty blonde’ and me thinks it could be this girl>> http://pics.livejournal.com/piquepwincez/pic/0005s20f
    http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=15clcn9&s=2

    she seems to fill out most of what was described. she looks pretty cute & decent. if so, good on him !

  17. Boston Red says:

    I’m far too old to be depressed when some celebrity I crush on but have never met/will never meet gets tied down. But that doesn’t mean it’s out of the question that when John O’Shea gets married this summer you will find me in a heap on the floor surrounded by empty vodka bottles with my mascara running downing my face clutching photos of him crying, “why not me?!”

    • MissEstonia says:

      Don’t worry, BR! Even though Sheasy and I are not in love like you and her are, I’ll be doing the same…but fear not, you’ll have him one day when he and Yvonna (amicably) part their ways. I say amicably because, really, I like her and have no problems with her. :D And then you’ll have your chance at happily ever after with the Sheasy!

      • MissEstonia says:

        Oops, I meant “you and he”, not “you and her”.

        • MissEstonia says:

          G’DANG! I have issues with spelling today. YVONNE not YVONNA.

          Did someone switch the letters on my keyboard and think it’s funny? Cause it’s NOT.

  18. Lolinha says:

    I don’t really get bent out of shape when the ballers I lust after settle down. There’s plenty of where they come from, and usually I have at least 4 parallel crushes going on that take the edge off.
    (I always thought Eva was worthy of Iker. I wouldn’t have had any problem with him settling down with her.)

  19. FootballerChick43 - "Mrs.Ballack" says:

    I’m generally happy that they’re happy. I think it just depends on the person, really.

    So can’t say much for Pique situation. Except that his outfit sounds horrible.

  20. Just one little note: when we say Barça we exclusively refer to the team, the city’s name can be abbreviated as Barna or BCN as well, but never Barça ;-)

  21. MissEstonia says:

    Wow, so…Alessandro. Hi.

    Remind me again who Pique is? No, seriously…after he left United, I actually forgot he existed. :O Sorry!

  22. Lola says:

    When I saw the interview I got all pissed off,but he said he never gets inlove ,so may be he just likes her and doesn’t feel anything special..

  23. C says:

    More of Alessandro pleaseeeeee!

  24. rachel says:

    i’m dying to see pics of pk n his novia.

  25. kitcat says:

    Alessandro looks like he’s in a boyband, but he’s delicious nevertheless

  26. HiL says:

    For me it depends, like if i see Pique (who i love and adore) goes out with greedy-bitchy-skanky looking type of girl, i’d be quite upset.
    But with Michael Carrick it’s different because he got married with his childhood sweetheart and i really like Lisa, and because she has known him forever so i guess she doesn’t want him for the money like other women would.

    And that Alessandro guy is fiiiine. and that “barely legal” thing doesn’t bother me cuz i am the same age as he =D (not that it helps a lot.)

  27. truly_thata says:

    is this girl (on his shoulder) whom Pique girlfriend?
    http://i50.tinypic.com/10cqhkx.jpg

  28. Louise says:

    Oh thank goodness the Pique thing was short lived. I don’t get him at all.

    I actually want Iker to find someone nice and settle down. He needs to let go of the emo a little and I think a normalized private life would help. And a good woman might be able to dress him properly.

  29. K says:

    THAT ALESSANDRO GUY IS FIIIIINE.