September 15th, 2009

Get Well Soon: Cristiano Ronaldo’s Stylist

We just want to know why.

Image via AFP

You know, it’s as if the universe has decided he can have talent and exquisite muscle tone but a completely random/bizarre/we no likey sense of style in order to make it fair and just on the rest of humanity.

What are we on about? Cristiano’s black marquise earrings. Don’t act like you didn’t notice them.

We’re worried. Cristiano’s personal stylist obviously has an illness so severe and rare she doesn’t even have the strength pick up her mobile and hit SOS! Earring emergency! Send backup!

C-Ron is the penultimate mama’s boy; where is Dolores now when he needs her the most?  Helping her grandchild locate the missing piece to her Pretty Pretty Princess board game, perhaps?

High on your to-do list today should be sending Ronaldo’s stylist a get well soon card. And us some wine spritzers.  It’s the only way to recover from this extreme level of jewelery failage.

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42 Responses to “Get Well Soon: Cristiano Ronaldo’s Stylist”

  1. Kristen (Mrs. Sebast says:

    Tranquillo Barnetta has ones oddly similar to these ones. Meh, they don't work on Ronny. I am used to the old ones. :D

  2. cunners says:

    Penultimate mamas boy? :s

  3. Boo says:

    aren't those black diamonds?

  4. LiverpoolEmLou says:

    Now we all know Ronaldo's taking styling tips of his new bessie Ramos…. both are inseprable at the moment……shopping trip with the boys any1?

  5. Meer. says:

    Yes, I really like earrings on men. Maybe I'm weird like that, but I'm sure I'm not alone in this. I don't think of having two earrings to be a girl-only thing. I sometimes even like it better than just one pierced ear.

  6. Kate says:

    Come on people! do you really, really find him sexy in any possible way? He's wearing damn earrings! You're scaring me O_O

  7. I’m going to go out here and say that I much prefer the black diamonds to the other sparkly pairs he usually wears.

    Also, I do think he looks hot in this picture and I don’t even like him that much!

    • Kiwixxx says:





  8. Zatti says:

    it's so weird, he is not the type of guy i would normally like….

    but there is something about him that just knock me off my heels…

  9. Susie says:

    Looks like black diamonds to me, which I love, so Id say; hand them over Cristiano!!! :)

    Wasnt Sergio Ramos photographed in black diamond studs the other day? (green jean pic)

    Must be a Real thing, at the mo.

  10. NONNY-RONNY says:

    OMG!!!HE IS SO SO SO CUTE!! wherever he put or he wear or he do he will always be the best… i just wish you know that how much i love you crissy and good luck honey…

  11. Jelly says:

    I think the earrings look ok and much better than his other twinkly pair. I will never understand why men wear earrings. It’s so 80′s. I do agree about the emo thing. Maybe he is in mourning over his last pair of earrings or his career (I joke I joke as a utd fan I joke)

  12. Stacy says:

    I totally love them. Then again i might be a little biased………..

  13. Kristen says:

    I'm gonna go ahead and say I like it, at least much more than the diamonds. We all know that they're __ karat, but Crissy always had a way of looking cheap.

    I have to agree, his style is getting better I think. At least out of his long Eurotrash slump. I don't think we'll ever see a one-hued hair color anytime soon though.

    Since he's not mugging the camera (which is still always sexy) or yelling at someone, I think he looks quite nice in the pic. Haha. I can't wait for the day when he gets married and have kids. Yes, I'm really saying that.

  14. Meer. says:

    Oh my, I’m loving the earrings, almost as much as I’m loving him doing his thing in this pic. I like choices that are diffrent and I want to get black(ish) earrings myself as well, for a long time now.

    So Cris, GREAT CHOICE!

  15. Jammyyumyum says:

    The problem is they look greasy, just like his hair. Imagine the oil slick he'd leave in a swimming pool.

  16. diana says:

    He looks hot, and it comes from someone who really deslikes him

  17. mrs aaron ramsey (&# says:

    he looks fairly alright here…. but just bit, and the earings as far as they go you should'nt steal ramos' style when you can't pull it off guh!

  18. diana says:

    Come on! This isn't that bad. I actually like them better than the diamonds. And the truth is… I think he's returned to his old sexy self. No more horrible tans and disgusting hair styles. He's looking the best he has in a while.

  19. Missy says:

    I miss the diamonds…they make me feel safe & happy, but that is a killer pic.

    Lamps Lady, that story is old. Another one of Cris' blink and you missed it…no worries.

  20. Raina says:

    I’m probably biased. Ok, I know I am…but I think he pulls it off! He’s delish. These earrings are WAY better than the silver short shorts! Even I couldn’t defend him after that offense.

  21. FootballerChick43-&q says:

    I actually like the earrings… and I've never liked anything on Cristiano. What's up with that? The one chance I have to rag on him and I can't.

    • Mrs. Gourcuff says:

      hahah i totally agree!!! I dodn't really like him but those earings are not bad at all… better than diamonds

  22. Bella Donna says:

    I think they look stupid, not totally wrong, just not right, but they could be hoops. The diamonds are a much better choice, but the guy is still an idiot for leaving Man Utd.

    But I am just bias speaking as an ex-member of the Ronaldo inner circle.

  23. Lamps' babe says:

    He has a weird sense of style.By the way..I need someone’s in Italy we have a little little silly show girl,she was a former Big brother contestant and she’s always telling that she is Cristiano’s girlfriend,but I can’t find anything about this not even in the British,always on the news,magazines.Has anyone heard about this lovestory between C and Raffaella Fico??thanks

  24. N. Cabreada says:

    Just wondering if that's his most usual sex-face…

  25. Merel says:

    Poor stylist then if he ever has one.. I wouldn’t even let him or her dress my dog.. And I don’t even have one.

  26. shay says:

    I saw those too! WTF?! Bring back the diamond half football thing-y. But really let’s be honest, there is no way he has a stylist. Who would pay good money to dress like that? Hot no matter what though.

  27. bitterlemon says:

    Blue, black, purple, green, aqua…doesn't change the fact that he is scrumptious enough to eat.

  28. Baby Freya says:

    The earrings are bad but jesus, he has really enviable lashes! *is jealous*

  29. MrsC says:

    Oh, C-Ron, you just go on with your bad self. I apply Sergio-leniency to you, now that you are Really Hot Madrid.

    Just get some Pro-Active, ‘kay?

  30. carly says:

    As far as earrings go – HATE them in men – I don't dislike these as much as the shiny ones. Guh…That's actually a cute photo *checks temperature*

  31. *heaves*

    And here I was praising his improved looks the other day. How wrong was *I*…

  32. Jane says:

    This guy freaks me out. The word "hot" does not apply to him in any case.

  33. Lidoli says:

    LOL!!!! its so true! CR, the earrings gotta go; but the rest shall STAY!!!!!

  34. jenny says:

    I'll take Iker's doofy Dad jeans over this kind of nonsense any day!

  35. paula says:

    he looks good

    its nice to be different and he isn't too different

  36. strawberrym says:

    He looks like a little emo kid. :)