July 26th, 2011

Girl Code: An Open Letter To Jennifer Thompson

Dear Juicy. Jennifer. Jen?

We realise that while your career trajectory is relatively flat and you must do all you can to maintain momentum while you have it, but we feel it might be in the best interests of your personal health and safety (not to mention dignity) if you would refrain from attending bars in Liverpool for the foreseeable future.

Admittedly we can’t fault the logic behind attending Mosquito in said city on Saturday night. It is, after all, one of Coleen Rooney’s favourite bars, and the exposure you would receive if ‘accidentally’ photographed in Col’s vicinity is just way too good to pass up.

However, we consider it our civic duty to remind you of Statute 46 in the Girl Code Handbook. Subsection 3 categorically states that the offence of ‘causing pain and suffering to your girl by making claims of liasons with her husband while she was carrying his bubba, who then has the temerity to rock up on her turf in an LBD trying to score a half page spread in The Sun’ is punishable by verbal abuse, with optional escalations of pointy fingers, shouting insults and culminating in chasing the offender down the street.

But of course, you know this, because this is how your evening ended last Saturday. Just be grateful you didn’t get to find out what Subsection 4 involves.

All the best,

The Kickette Health & Safety Protectorate

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28 Responses to “Girl Code: An Open Letter To Jennifer Thompson”

  1. tool steel says:

    Great thanks for sharing this article post.

  2. Haha. Fat percentage of face and legs should be the same…

  3. Rossanera says:

    All these ladies are all just such class acts.

  4. Amy says:

    I don't know…to me, this woman is a few shades of blonde away from looking like Mrs. Gerrard.

  5. Deedoodahday says:

    Why should she not go out in Liverpool? She was single, he wasnt. His fault. She didnt hold a gun to his head, its not her problem.

    Get over it, and her.

  6. welly says:

    Cant say nothing me mates would have done the same….fug that i would chased her myself…after i killed my sed hubby that is

  7. Agnes Wonka says:

    how does a prostitute gets a Chanel bag? are they cheap in england?

  8. Wow says:

    Thank the creator that i was born with a strong Gag reflex! Holy moses Lord have mercy. so Col is the queen of England now no? her husbands cheats on her by his own doing and his vice girl/girls aren't allowed to step a foot in her place/ drinking spot? Good for them, go on with the fight girls it's good for my entertainment!

  9. guest says:

    That is what Col and her girls pal are going to do for the rest of their lives, chasing after vice girls, because Heaven knows that isn’t the last meal Rooney gonna bite his Jr. into!Good luck girls have fun with the fights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. elsebethynwa says:

    Very classy of Coleen's galpals. Did they chase Wayne down the street when they found out he cheated on Coleen with said prostitute?

  11. linvinnaar says:


  12. GirlWithTheLFCtattoo says:

    Cheers to Col's mates, any gal pal worth her Loubs would do the same, it just might not get mention in the Sun.

    Also, chicky is rocking some seriously frightening eyebrows. Maybe she was just looking for Col to give her advice on proper eyebrow pencil maintenance?

  13. Lisette says:

    My first response to this was "ah, leave the girl alone. Sure, she looks a little trashy, but who's she hurting?"

    Then I read the link and realised who she is.

    Good heavens. If you're going to admit/claim that you did the dirty with another woman's husband, then stay away from that woman. How is that hard to understand?

    • Raincitygirl says:

      Personally I think that Wayne Rooney is a lot more at fault in the affair scenario than Thompson is. He was the one who was married and committing adultery (while his wife was getting ready to push an object the size of a watermelon out of an opening the size of a grapefruit. The timing just makes him all the classier). Plus, apparently Ms. Thompson has had both a drug overdose and a suicide attempt in the past few months. Clearly she's troubled, and I hope she gets the help she needs (not a huge surprise that she's troubled. Young women from prosperous middle class backgrounds don't usually take up prostitution as a career if they're emotionally stable)

      That said, she's OBVIOUSLY looking for tabloid attention at this point. The woman doesn't even live in Liverpool, and never has. In order to be photographed near Coleen Rooney (who grew up in Liverpool and still has friends and family there. Totally valid reason to be in a bar in that city), Thompson had to drive all the way over from Manchester, which is not an especially short trip. Perhaps a tabloid photographer set the whole thing up and drove her to Liverpool. Which would be tacky, but hey, at least legal. More than can be said for some tabloid practices.

      So, you know, in general I feel bad for Jennifer Thompson, because she's obviously not a happy person. But I don't feel even remotely bad for her at this particular photo op. You already slept with Coleen Rooney's husband. Do you have to stalk her as well?

      • Amy says:

        I'd say at least leave the wife alone but by all means if you want to haunt Mr. Rooney, be my guest. It was their joint decision to have an affair, after all. I don't have a problem with him being made to feel uncomfortable but I guess by extension it has an effect on the wife and the child so…meh, whatever.

        • Raincitygirl says:

          Oh yeah, if she wants to hang out in Liverpool in order to embarrass Mr. Rooney, she should go right ahead. I'll chip in for her taxi fare, in fact. It's her showing up when only Mrs. Rooney was around that I found deeply tacky.

          I'm not sure how I'd feel about her showing up at an event where they both were. On the one hand, he should squirm. On the other, as you point out, that would affect Coleen as well, and she's done nothing wrong.

  14. Sophie says:

    It seems Jennifer and Coleen have more than just Wayne in common. Their eyebrows are ridiculous.