July 28th, 2010

Goal Celebrations: Inside The Football Actor’s Studio

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We’ve got a pretty strict set of criteria when it comes to goal celebrations. We could bore you with scientific jargon involving ratios of cuteness that are inversely proportional to positional awareness and so forth, but the basic premise remains simple. When celebrating a goal clothing removal = good, remaining fully clothed = bad.

However.

We’re willing to temporarily set aside our prejudices for moments of creative genius. Above, please appreciate what might conceivably be the finest collective thought by a group of footballers in the history of the universe. Congratulations, Stjarnan of Iceland. You have brought drama and intrigue to the goal celebration. Theatre, a plot narrative, characterisation. Hell, it’s one step away from songs and a supporting cast of villagers.

To celebrate this raising of the goal celebration to new and theatrical heights, we thought we’d bring you a few more thespian contributions to the pantheon. Just so you know, this makes us 26% more clever and innovative than ANY other outlet that has produced a ‘Top 10’ goal celebrations list off the back of this story. We’re also much drunker. Fact.

Up In The Air
Is it the element of danger inherent in leaving terra firma this way? Is it the promise of athletic prowess hinted at by a player’s capacity to hurl himself through the air in such a manner? Are we merely jealous because the only way any of us could conceivably imitate this feat is by utlilising some sort of winch/harness/pulley system?

We’re not sure. But our wizened, cynical hearts soar with joy when we see a player (like Nani, left) lift off in this manner. And how often do we get to say that?

Rebel Without a Clue
Angel faced Timmy Cahill managed to invoke the wrath of the media by crossing his wrists in a handcuff stylee as a nod to his brother, Sean. Clearly, a celebration marking the incarceration of an individual for committing a horrible crime is in poor taste, peeps, but when you look this hot while you’re doing it… Our already compromised moral standards have no choice but to phoaar.

Other examples in this genre include Robbie Fowler impersonating a vacuum cleaner on the touchline and Craig Bellamy revisiting an unusual round of golf. Not forgetting Emmanual Adebayor and his rush to share his moment of joy with fans. (Image of Tim Cahill via telegraph.co.uk)

The Quiet Man
There’s just something so darn sexy about a man who refuses to give in to the peer pressure of celebration and instead stands, inscrutable, as an entire stadium goes crazy around him. Eric Cantona started it (left), Thierry Henry perfected it and then surpassed himself, exhibiting his adherence to ‘the method’ when this happened.

The History Boys
Widely considered to be the forefather of every goal celebration. Like evah. Marco Tardelli races around the pitch screaming after scoring the second goal in Italy’s 3-1 win over West Germany in the 1982 World Cup final.

A similar thing happens in the Kickette office when someone brings cake, y’know.

Naked Lunch


Well… we were peckish. What do you expect?

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22 Responses to “Goal Celebrations: Inside The Football Actor’s Studio”

  1. VeNia says:

    Forlan works for me as always but Leo and Villa's celebrations are the best!!!!!!!!!

    • Dimitar says:

      Diego Forlan is amazing player. At this age he performed better than so many pro players. he is someone to admire .
      Belchev Soccer Academy

  2. Dominique says:

    Heehee that goal celebration was awesome! Was it practiced though? or just a spur of the moment thing?

  3. What about when Niko done his side tounge thing?

    That was pretty smexy.
    http://www.kickette.com/the-midweek-mmm-niko-kran…

  4. AnnaBlume says:

    That Icelandic celebration is genious! The fact that the "fish" is named Laxdal (Salmon) makes it even better. :D

    Not a goal celebration, but one of my favourite "game celebrations" ever is Torsten Frings playing bowling with his Germany teammates after the game against Argentina in 2006:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17cFC8-2I2c#t=1m46…

  5. aps says:

    Hilarious celebration. I also love Nani’s flips.

  6. Maria says:

    Haha!! I still can't believe the awesomeness of this celebration!!

    And yes, Tardelli's one still brings a tear to my eye sometimes… and I'm not italian! I just wish I scored a goal in a WC final :(

  7. Claire the Forest Fan says:

    I know it’s not a goal celebration but this one from the end of Nottingham Forest v Derby County last August. Nathan Tyson is legend. http://i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01472/nathan_tyson2_1472050c.jpg basically for those who don’t understand, Forest beat Derby County 3-2 and after the match, Nathan Tyson got the Forest corner flag and waved it past the Derby fans.
    (Also, just to inform: Radoslaw Majewski. So cute! Little babyface. Don’t ask me why, I love skinny boys. Except El Ramos. http://www.weszlo.com/fotonews/1219787613_majewski-radek.jpg)

  8. Sham says:

    Missin u Forlan ! For me nacked lunch is the better :D !

  9. Leá says:

    The guy that pretended to be the fish was a total champ.

    My favorite goal celebration is David Villa's matador.

  10. Edward Sasam says:

    out of all the celebrations that I have seen, this is probably the most epic of them all…props to the team and their creativeness lol…

  11. senora ramos says:

    that guys fish was the most realistic i have ever seen. it was awesome!

    my favorite was el ramos's nipple rub.

  12. Lisa says:

    Up In The Air scares the crap out of me. I'm always half expecting the flipper to land on their heads and become paralyzed. Scary stuff.

    The Quiet Man has been done so many times, whenever I see it now I just yawn but yea when Cantona (and Marc Overmars the next season) did it, was kinda cool.

    My favorite is the Rebel With A Cause. I love it when my ballers express their true feelings and don't give a *bleep* what anyone thinks of them. And can we PLEASE legalise removal of the shirt, for goodness sake!

    I celebrate like Marco Tardelli whenever Barca win El Clasico. FOUR TIMES A ROW BABY!

    • Lisa says:

      thats four times IN a row… eat it Madrid. Visca el Barca.

    • Rachel S says:

      I second the Rebel w/o a Cause…I always think of the Ramos nipple rub like senora ramos mentioned above…one of my favourite celebrations!! Also, agree about legalising shirt removal. That's one of the dumbest yellow card offenses I've ever heard of. Even so, I'd like to see more of this as a post-goal celebration: http://i32.tinypic.com/2rdhyf5.jpg <–whenever this happens, it's like the player is just dying to rip his shirt off in the happiness of the moment haha!

  13. zztop says:

    dorky team

  14. Dee says:

    I do have to say I love the Icelandic goal celebration. The guy bounced on the pitch like a flopping fish….that is humor gold.

    Do I have a favorite goal celebrator? Yes, but only because this man never has "Halfway" in his vocabulary….DDR. I'm just leaving it at that.