April 21st, 2011

Golden Rule: Proverbial Pornstache Principles

Neymar Brazilian funny

Image Credits: Tullio M. Puglia/Getty Images Europe; AP Photo/Antonio Calanni.

Three wise footballers a pictorial maxim make. As Abel Hernandez of Palermo and Neymar of Brazilian side, Santos, teach us, we should hear no evil, see no evil…

…nor should we speak no evil about Zlatan Ibrahimović’s pornstache.

It’s a tempting rule for us to breach, Kickettes, but that’s why we have you here: to do our dirty work.



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15 Responses to “Golden Rule: Proverbial Pornstache Principles”

  1. Neynisah says:

    Yay fiinally more neymar!! He really deserves to be on the F5, every ounce of brazilian sexiness..

  2. [...] Golden Rule: Proverbial Pornstache Principles (kickette.com) [...]

  3. Marika says:

    Would it be Zlatan`s way of telling that he does not care what others think of him or to seek confirmation of the rebel role. Or maybe he wants to spice up sex life. But what ever this is cut it off! I am begging… But I adore you anyway with or without pornstache.

  4. Natasha says:

    Neymar did that because he was sent off for wearing a mask(of himself,I didn't see any problem) and he always has to tease,you know :) btw,I'm happy to see more Neymar over here! :)

  5. Tashinka says:

    The evil chin pubes are pretty awful, too.

  6. Kristine says:

    Zlatan can put the porn in pornstache with me anytime he'd like…mmmmhhmm.

  7. Emily says:

    i recently discovered (via facebook) that my ex has grown a pornstache… I'm more than disappointed that zlatan has descended to that level

  8. Kerry says:

    If you want to do a story on mustaches, I highly suggest you look up MLS players. My personal favorite (since the player who owns it is on my local club, the Portland Timbers) is the “Horstache.” Defender David Horst lost a pk contest in training and had to grow a mustache for a month. His teammate MF Peter Lowry dubbed it the Horstache, and now its sort of a cult hero among the fans.

    The other player you should look up is Ryan Cochrane of the New England. His is definitely epic!

    Now if you want to do a story on hair crazier than Cisse’s, I suggest Real Salt Lake’s Kyle Beckerman. Its like the alien dreadlocks in the Will Smith film “Independence Day!

  9. AC_USA says:

    Why Zlatan, whyyyyy?? I love you dude, don't make it so hard on me! Whats going through that head of yours???
    Just go back to shirtless Zlatan that we all love!! :)

  10. nandosfreckles says:

    If he shaved his hair , he would look like Ali G, haha just a thought.

  11. chay says:

    zlatan! what's up with that fuzz on your upper lip? maybe you won't speak anything about it but i sure will tell you to shave that scuzz off! no no no bad boy

  12. JA7 says:

    *hands zlatan a razor*

  13. michelle says:

    agreed. pornstache is an insta-fail. on another note…that neymar pic is hilarious! B)

  14. Leya_S says:

    Uuuuchhh, whyyyyyyy??? Dammit, Zlatan, I know you're trying to push the boundaries to see if we'll still love you, and I do, BUT….just, no.

  15. LuvinBale says:

    HA!!! Pornstache's- these never look good on anyone. Not even David Beckham can carry one of these off.
    Hence any man wearing a pornstache is an EPIC FAIL!