August 19th, 2011

Good Week/Bad Week: Bewilderment & Back Pain

Inter players are overwhelmed with emotion as they collect their latest piece of silverware. Ahem. Image: Giuseppe Bellini/Getty Images Europe/Zimbio.

We’re pretty sure we are the only website currently offering cup winners, English language lessons, transfer news and hair advice in the same post. There’s probably a reason for this, but the difference between us and other sites is that we don’t give a crap.

Have a good weekend, Kickettes!


Mobilise team, this boy needs to be taught a few lessons! Image: Shaun Botterill/Getty Images Europe/Daylife.

One All: Having capitulated once this pre-season to their city rivals, Inter were not about to let AC Milan gain the bragging rights in the TIM Cup. The cup, a three way competition that has each team playing the others in 45 minute contests, was collected by Inter after they beat Juventus on penalties and the Rossoneri 1-0, courtesy of a Diego Milito strike. Exciting, no?

Language Barrier: Manchester United fans worried about David De Gea’s ‘eclectic’ approach to EPL goalkeeping will surely be reassured by Javier Hernandez’ assertion that the Spaniard will improve once he learns to speak English. We are in the frame of mind to believe anything the Little Pea cares to tell us, and therefore would like to offer our services as language teachers to both players. We can’t promise to stick to the curriculum, though.

A Near Miss: After failing to receive a squad number from Arsenal in time for the new season, Emmanuel Eboue has signed a four year deal with Turkish club Galatasaray. The Ivorian has apparently jumped at the opportunity to work with coach Fatih Terim after Arsene Wenger said he was ‘a nice guy’ and intends to ‘give everything for him and for myself’. The reason this is good for Arsenal? Eboue claims he received an offer from rival club Spurs.


Spanish Striker: If you’re already parked in front of your TV set in anticipation of the La Liga season kicking off on Saturday, you might want to ensure you have enough champers and pretzels for the long haul. Last minute talks are being held between the Spanish Football League (LFP) and the Spanish Footballers’ Association (AFE) to prevent a player strike that could delay the fixture schedule indefinitely.  The only person in the universe who is pleased about this is the Kickette staffer responsible for the Weekend Results post.

The Pain Barrier: Victoria Beckham has kept a very low profile since the birth of baby Harper, leading to tabloid speculation that she is desperately battling to lose her baby weight before New York Fashion Week. However, reports today claim that VB actually slipped a disc in her back during the Caesarean birth and is so much pain she can barely lift her new bundle of loveliness. Which, from what we’ve seen, must be agony in itself.

Can’t See The Wood For The Sleaze: Apparently perturbed by her ‘colleague’ TK’s recent publicity, Helen Wood has stepped up her own campaign for infamy. This week, Wood was seemingly set upon by a gang of aggrieved hairdressers and then claimed she only slept with Wayne Rooney ‘because she had to’. We’re surprised. We actually thought she’s turn up in the UK Celebrity Big Brother house. Sleeping with a footballer is a considerable achievement compared to what most of the housemates have actually done with their lives.

Finally, we’d just like to give a shoutout to James T, who writes for our good friends, Unprofessional Foul. Sadly, James was diagnosed with testicular cancer in 2005, but instead of falling apart at this horrible news as most of us would, he is currently in training for the Livestrong Challenge 100m Bike Ride. Please join us in sending our best wishes to James as he undertakes this frankly terrifying challenge.


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12 Responses to “Good Week/Bad Week: Bewilderment & Back Pain”

  1. Agnes Wonka says:

    wow! James T, what a good example!

    David De Gea needs time, to get used to English football and ….the media!

    I'm an English teacher, I'd be very glad to help Chicharito improve his English ;)

  2. sahil says:

    arsenal are having all the bad weeks..

  3. whoaaaa says:

    OMG why spaniards can't speak english????
    don't they go to school???
    i mean my english is not very good but enough to communicate…..

    in italy it is the same
    once i was there for holiday and no one of them could speak one word english… and i tried to speak to young people coz i thought that they learn it at school…….

  4. ruby says:

    Is "slipped a disc" now code for "hasn't got back to size 00 yet and will not be seen in public until she does"?

  5. Lizzie says:

    Why's there no mention of Kun? :(

  6. bri_saldana says:

    Good luck James! Truly inspiring!

  7. brooke says:

    Kickette, surely you can find better sources to use than the Sun. It's an extremely unpleasant surprise when I click on a link only to realize that I've suddenly given extra hits to the website for that disgusting rag. If that's the only source you can find, then the information probably isn't true/worth reporting anyway. I'm not trying to be rude, and I do love and frequent your site, but there are more than enough reasons to be wary of the scum.

  8. Ninjess says:

    Go James, go! :)

  9. fooey1709 says:


  10. Leya_S says:

    Buena suerte James!

    I'm sad to hear ppl whining about David de Gea; he's very young, he's brand new to the EPL and the way they play, he's in a new country. Like give him a break, people. Van der Sar wasn't amazing overnight, either. And Fergie is usually really good at picking his players.

    That being said, the possibility that David and Chicha could be BEST friends (can you imagine Chicha teaching David English??) is more than I could hope for! They're both so adorable.

  11. Sarah, Madrid says:

    Good luck James!!

    about the strike, the funny part until now we dont know when it will be held, next meeting is next friday and how is going is mind-blowing, since the fixtures happen to be the next day! But, I have to agree with strike and hope to end soon, we want to see LIGA boys! we are waiting for long now!