August 19th, 2011
Good Week/Bad Week: Bewilderment & Back Pain
Inter players are overwhelmed with emotion as they collect their latest piece of silverware. Ahem. Image: Giuseppe Bellini/Getty Images Europe/Zimbio.
We’re pretty sure we are the only website currently offering cup winners, English language lessons, transfer news and hair advice in the same post. There’s probably a reason for this, but the difference between us and other sites is that we don’t give a crap.
Have a good weekend, Kickettes!
Mobilise team, this boy needs to be taught a few lessons! Image: Shaun Botterill/Getty Images Europe/Daylife.
One All: Having capitulated once this pre-season to their city rivals, Inter were not about to let AC Milan gain the bragging rights in the TIM Cup. The cup, a three way competition that has each team playing the others in 45 minute contests, was collected by Inter after they beat Juventus on penalties and the Rossoneri 1-0, courtesy of a Diego Milito strike. Exciting, no?
Language Barrier: Manchester United fans worried about David De Gea’s ‘eclectic’ approach to EPL goalkeeping will surely be reassured by Javier Hernandez’ assertion that the Spaniard will improve once he learns to speak English. We are in the frame of mind to believe anything the Little Pea cares to tell us, and therefore would like to offer our services as language teachers to both players. We can’t promise to stick to the curriculum, though.
A Near Miss: After failing to receive a squad number from Arsenal in time for the new season, Emmanuel Eboue has signed a four year deal with Turkish club Galatasaray. The Ivorian has apparently jumped at the opportunity to work with coach Fatih Terim after Arsene Wenger said he was ‘a nice guy’ and intends to ‘give everything for him and for myself’. The reason this is good for Arsenal? Eboue claims he received an offer from rival club Spurs.
Spanish Striker: If you’re already parked in front of your TV set in anticipation of the La Liga season kicking off on Saturday, you might want to ensure you have enough champers and pretzels for the long haul. Last minute talks are being held between the Spanish Football League (LFP) and the Spanish Footballers’ Association (AFE) to prevent a player strike that could delay the fixture schedule indefinitely. The only person in the universe who is pleased about this is the Kickette staffer responsible for the Weekend Results post.
The Pain Barrier: Victoria Beckham has kept a very low profile since the birth of baby Harper, leading to tabloid speculation that she is desperately battling to lose her baby weight before New York Fashion Week. However, reports today claim that VB actually slipped a disc in her back during the Caesarean birth and is so much pain she can barely lift her new bundle of loveliness. Which, from what we’ve seen, must be agony in itself.
Can’t See The Wood For The Sleaze: Apparently perturbed by her ‘colleague’ TK’s recent publicity, Helen Wood has stepped up her own campaign for infamy. This week, Wood was seemingly set upon by a gang of aggrieved hairdressers and then claimed she only slept with Wayne Rooney ‘because she had to’. We’re surprised. We actually thought she’s turn up in the UK Celebrity Big Brother house. Sleeping with a footballer is a considerable achievement compared to what most of the housemates have actually done with their lives.
Finally, we’d just like to give a shoutout to James T, who writes for our good friends, Unprofessional Foul. Sadly, James was diagnosed with testicular cancer in 2005, but instead of falling apart at this horrible news as most of us would, he is currently in training for the Livestrong Challenge 100m Bike Ride. Please join us in sending our best wishes to James as he undertakes this frankly terrifying challenge.