July 29th, 2011
Good Week/Bad Week: Doppelganger Dreams
Welcome, ladies and gents. He’s been waiting for you. Image Credit: REUTERS/Tyrone Siu.
Is cloning ever appropriate? Would you mind falling over in front of 26,000 people if Patrice Evra was available to pick you up? And are free kebabs a good thing? We consider these, and other newsworthy and relevant issues in this week’s edition of Good Week/Bad Week.
Enter at your own peril.
Kenneth McEvoy. We’re not saying anything until we’ve seen his thighs. Image: tottenhamhotspurs.tv.
Double Take: We know that science moves fast but this is getting ridiculous. Mere months after the exciting news broke that radio controlled footballers were in the offing, the event has been superceded by rumours that Spurs manager Harry Redknapp has figured out how to clone players. See Kenneth McEvoy (above), a first year academy player for Spurs who bears an alarming resemblance to Gareth Bale. (Luckily, our mates at Dirty Tackle have conducted initial research into the footballing benefits therein). We are now compelled to ask you lot what you would do if cloned footballers went on general sale and you could afford to buy one. Excluding the obvious, of course. We can think about that ourselves.
Baby Grows: Danielle Lloyd has tweeted the news that her baby boy, Harry, who was born ten weeks early on July 13th, is now able to breathe on his own and ‘is doing a lot better’. For those who don’t know, Danielle and Harry’s dad, Wolves’ Jamie O’Hara are trying to raise money to buy equipment for their local neonatal clinic, who have been caring for Harry. You can find out more about it here.
Image via yfrog.
Oh, Fernando: Relief abounds for Chelsea fans this week, who have been asssured by Fernando Torres that he has not forgotten to score and they can look forward to ‘a big season’. We’re hoping, for their sake, that this claim does not end up being filed next to his optimism that it was ‘his destiny’ to score against Liverpool on his Chelsea debut. Ahem.
Slippery Lino: Officials are the unsung heroes of football matches. Not because they enforce discipline, provoke players into paroxysms of hysterical anger and sometimes accidentally get in the way of play, it’s because they occasionally fall down while discharging their duty. Which, for some reason, is much funnier than when anyone else does it.
This week’s lesson: When attempting an overhead kick during an attacking opportunity, please remember to remove your face from the trajectory of the ball. Chelsea midfielder Yossi Benayoun will now demonstrate what can happen if you fail to observe this simple rule.
A Gold Card You Might Not Want: Speaking of ill-advised associations with questionable foodstuffs, Cheryl Cole’s portfolio of endorsements was rumoured to have gained an interesting addition this week. Irish kebab shop Abrakebabra (see what they did there?) have awarded Ashley’s ex one of their special gold cards, entitling her to free kebabs whenever she’s in Dublin after she apparently mentioned them in an interview. Beat that, L’Oreal.