May 4th, 2012
Good Week/Bad Week: Fashion, Financial & Failure Free-For-All
Pictured: Topps Minis FA Cup construction Set.
We love Fridays for many reasons, but mostly because it’s the only day of the week that our “I’m too fat to come into work today” line is successfully acceptable.
FA Cup Commodities: Ahead of this weekend’s Liverpool vs Chelsea final round clash, companies trying to make a quick, commercial buck have been out in full force. Our favourite pitch received, though, was for the Topps Minis FA Cup Construction Set. We dare you, Kickettes, to show us one person who doesn’t love building their own trophy.
Extraordinary Excuses: We were given a pass at the Apple store to pick up our new “corporate” iPads after they bought into our “some drunk mongrels knocked us over and broke them – we swear we weren’t drunk ourselves” speech, while Kaka’s beauty of a wife, Caroline Celico, told Istoe Gente that if her hubby ever cheated on her, she’d forgive him, because “when a man cheats, it is a sign that his wife failed at some point.”
Indigestion Issues In Plain Sight: Puking on the pitch was mighty popular this week. Obviously this trend worthy topic begs the question: what’s the protocol for uncontrollable upchucks mid-game? Should footballers grab a bottle of water and toothbrush before proceeding, or is a slight wipe of the kit sleeve enough to play on?
Scouse Style: The founder of Liverpool Fashion Week is telling guests to take off the fake lashes, fake hair and fake tan now or they won’t be invited to attend next September. Cricket Boutique owner, Justine Mills, is against the Scouse Style ban, as are the “stars” of Desperate Scousewives, who say they’re proud of their Liverpudlian looks and will boycott the event altogether instead of leaving the house looking like a normal person.
Formation & Financial Follies: Unaio de Leiria, a Portuguese top flight team that was dead broke and evicted from their stadium earlier this season, became the first in the league’s history to play a seven player match in a 4-3-0 formation. Not exactly a title we’d want our team to lay claim to…